Child Free By Choice Bees – Are you a God Parent or Guardian?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
3738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

mchitt329:  I am the godmother to a friend’s daughter. My husband and I are to take guardianship should anything happen to my friend. 

I certainly don’t want children of my own, but you better believe I would lay down my life for my goddaughter. 

Post # 3
Member
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I share the godparent title with my best friend’s sister, so I’m off the hook. 

Post # 4
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am godparent to my best friends gorgeous 18 month old son but so are her sister and BIL so I figure I’m last on the list if anything should happen 🙁 

Post # 5
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

mchitt329:  I would decline any request to be a godparent or guardian.  I am serious about not wanting to be involved in a child’s life. 

Post # 6
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

I’m a godmother, but I share the title with some friends, and the child also has a godfather.  In addition, the child has grandparents who would be first in line as guardians were something to happen to the child’s birth parents.

Post # 7
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

MarriedToMyWork:  +1.

I’m also an atheist, which is another reason I wouldn’t be a god parent.

Everyone who knows me well knows this, and would never ask me to be either.

Post # 8
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

mchitt329: I am a God parent to one of my nephews. In all reality, if my sister passed, my nephew would likely go to one of my siblings who have children in the same age range. God parent is an honorary title.  

Post # 9
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Being a God parent does not mean that you legally become the childs guardian if anything happens to the parents. You can only be a guardian if it is written so in their wills or if you petition a court for it. Usually the child will go to the next of kin (family member).

That said anyone who is CBC would decline to be listed as guardian in anyones will. Being CBC means that you do not want children by any means. If you would say yes to being listed as a guardian in someones will then you are not CBC.

Post # 10
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Nope! No idea who my BIL and SIL went with but it wasn’t us! However, we were not engaged yet so they may have chosen a different couple that was a ‘sure thing.’ I love kids and would have been honored – I just don’t want my own. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

j_jaye:  +1 to this too.

I have no desire ever to be a parent, whether that is to children who are bioloigically my own, or someone else’s.

Post # 12
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I have both a godson and a goddaughter. I love both desperately and if it came down to it, I would absolutely take care of them. This is only likely with my godson, since my goddaughter would have many much closer family to go to. I used to want kids when I was a kid, but now that I’ve seen how awful the realm of parenthood can be… pass. I’ve already raised a child, even if he didn’t come from my loins. Been there, done that, don’t need to do it again.

Post # 13
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

mchitt329:  im on the fence with kids but i am a god parent. its understood that im just a god parent and not to take over gaurdianship if anything was to happen. not really my choice but theirs. even though im the god parent they want their child to go to the grandparents (who are still pretty young). which is fine with me but if anything was to happen to all of them , i would assume we would take care of our god child who is also our niece. I think of a god parent as some one to guide the child spiritually threw life. im catholic (we all were)  but my nieces mother (BILs wife)  just resently switched to mormanism. so im just going to try the best i can without really stepping on her toes i guess. i tell her im her fairy god mother 😉

Post # 14
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK

I’m God mother to my oldest friends daughter. We’ve known each other over 20 years, and her little girl is a miracle, she arrived 8 weeks early! I don’t dislike children, I just don’t want my own. It’s her 1st birthday next week and I’ve spoilt her rotten 😉

Post # 15
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

mchitt329:  We are both godparents. FI is godfather to his only nephew, I am the unofficial godmother of my best friend’s son (she’s like a sister to me). I say unofficial because it’s not related to religion, my godson didn’t get baptized. They didn’t asked me to be a guardian, and since we’re not linked by blood, her kids would probably go to the grandparents or her boyfriends’ sister (she has kids too). However, I did tell my sister, who doesn’t have children yet, that if anything happened to her, I would be there and I would welcome her kids into my home as my own. Which brings me to :

j_jaye:  I disagree with your last statement. FI and I are both CBC and always have been. However, I grew up as a kid having 3 sisters: my real blood-sister, and my BFF and her little sister (who was my little sister’s BFF as well). We were raised together, literally. Unfortunately, one of these sisters died at age 12. It has been a traumatizing experience for all of us, but it made our ”sisterhood” bound even more powerful ever since, especially between my blood-sister and me as we realized how lucky we were to still have each other. If anything was to happen to her, I consider it’s not for our parents to raise her kids when they already raised us, they’ll be too old. FI and I however, would have the stability and the income and more than enough space to welcome them and take care of them. To me, the sense of duty I would feel toward whom my beloved sister would leave behind should she pass (her kids, the most precious beings she had in her life and all that would remain of ”her” after she’s gone) would be way more important than my own personal desire not to be a biological parent. It’s your choice to be CBC to the extent of never being a legal guardian, but please do not make general assomptions about who is supposedly ”truly” CBC or not, simply based on that decision. There are many factors at play, and it is somewhat offensive to me that someone would argue I am not authentic in my lifestyle choices, just because I would be willing to make a huge change in my life out of love for my sister. 

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