Post # 1
Today FI and I made up our guest list and boy was that stressful. Our wedding package requires us to have 100 adults minimum and they don’t include children in that count. When we did the adding up we worked out that having a child free reception would save us $1000….I am very torn. Many of my cousins as well as FI’s cousins have young kids…I don’t know whether it would put people out too much to ask them to find someone to mind the kids. I need opinions. Please vote!
Post # 3
This could be bad if you barely made the 100 guest requirement.
I say this because some parents will opt NOT to attend if their kids cannot attend, if a bunch of them do, you might end up screwed!
I think you need to weigh your options. Is the ONLY reason you don’t want kids there because of money? I find that kind of chincy. The point of a reception is to celebrate your marriage & entertain your guests, you don’t want to seem like a tightwad, especially if some of your guests are traveling long distances.
If this was me, I would keep the kids. I don’t mind having kids at my wedding, and I don’t want to make anyone feel left our.
It’s your choice though, nobody can tell you how to have your wedding!
Post # 4
Is not including some family worth $1000?
Some people may choose not to come or be offended and it could cause headaches… depends what kind of wedding you want. If money didn’t matter what would you choose? I’d go with that becasue that’s what you envision for your celebration.
Post # 5
My feeling is that cousins’ children aren’t especially close, and it’s fine to not invite them. You may want to make exceptions for very young children (like under 6-9 months) because at that age (a) they are hard to babysit, especially if they’re breast fed, and (b) they’re not crawling or walking, so they don’t walk around causing trouble. But once they’re past that age, most people should be able to arrange babysitting. And you’re within your rights to not want a whole lots of preschoolers there. (And I’m a mother myself).
Post # 6
Thanks guys! I feel like I want to have the children there to avoid conflict. I just need to convince FI!
Post # 7
I am pro child free weddings, so I vote for saving the $1,000.
Post # 8
Do you WANT the kids there, personally? My cousins have small children, as do my fiance’s siblings. We actively want them to attend the wedding. They are fun little people. I remember going to family weddings when I was a little kid and having a blast dancing. I always thought the bride was just the most amazing looking person ever. Heck yes I want some of that tiny-people adoration at my wedding!
eta: I do also think it depends how well you know them. We see these kids several times a year and they behave pretty well at family gatherings. If you don’t know them at all though, I’d be more inclined to say don’t invite them.
Post # 9
don’t look at kids as $$ signs, look at it as, would you want them there? and decide that way
Post # 10
It’s more about do you want kids there than how much it costs I think. For only $1000 you’re setting yourself up for dealing with family drama. So that’s worth it if you really don’t want kids, but maybe not worth if it’s only about the money?
Post # 11
I opt save the cash and skip the kids. I’m having a kid free wedding (minus my little brother, ring bearer, and flower girl). I don’t want kids because at my moms second wedding kids were sliding across the dance floor and one of my older aunts almost hit the floor. I really do not like BAD BEHAVED kids.
Post # 12
Thanks for all of your responses! In the end I have decided (and hopefully fi will agree) that it is not worth the drama of having a child-free wedding. It’s one more month of saving to have the kids there so I suppose it’s better to not have the headache of offended relatives!
Post # 13
I am also for child-free weddings so this was a no brainer for me. No kids!