Post # 1
So…me and my FI are on the verge of booking our venue (whooo!) and we’ve got onto talking about guestlists..and more specifically, what our child policy should be.
We both don’t want many kids at our wedding but don’t necessarily want it to be 100% child free either. I suggested we invite kids if they fall into one of the following two catergories-
Two: We are inviting the whole family i.e. parents and grandparents. My FI was a bit dubious about this one. Basically I have some close friends who I’ve known since childhood and I’m also on very good terms with their parents too so I’d like to invite them as a “family” and include their respective children. There would only be a couple of people this would apply to. Obviously you could argue the child could stay with their other set of grandparents but it would be a shame if they couln’t share the day as I know them all so well. Do you think this might get other people’s back’s up? If we were inviting the couple *only* (no grandparents) we wouldn’t extend the invite to their children.
Thoughts? If you include family only children and the number 2 option there would still only be about max 8 kids there out of 120 guests so I didn’t think it would look too bad but I know how funny people get about child invitations!!!
Post # 3
I think its fine if you do both categories. Ours for the most party was the rule that “Family and Close family friends” we didn’t tell anyone specifically “NO KIDS” but we did invite a few as just Mr & Mrs. and aside from 1 family, its worked out well. No one has been complaining so far too
Post # 4
I’m in the process of sending out our invitations right now, and I’m using the same exact guidelines as you. I was also wondering if people with kids who didn’t fall into option 1 or 2 would get peeved, but then I decided that I’m not rich, and I can’t afford to invite every single person I know and their entire family, so oh well. I’m ready to handle the fall out if there is any… But I really hope there’s not.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
People get NUTSO about their little darlings being invited. I woud only allow close family children … but expect to get a ton of flack for it.
I personally wouldn’t let any kids come to my wedding. Weddings are adult events and I wasn’t having them. Kids are so annoying and I did not want them anywhere near me on the big day. Mean but true. The 4 families with babies got babysitters or left them home. (Hopefully!)
Post # 6
I’m sending out my invitations in 2 weeks and I DREAD this issue more than anything else!
Post # 7
@LadyKM: I think as long as you’re consistent, you’re golden.
Post # 8
From personal experience that I am currently dealing with, I would go all or nothing.
We are only inviting my nieces (one being 3 months old and nursing) and my nephew. The next youngest person is 14 and he’s a direct cousin.
Even with those obvious rules, we are still getting people up in arms.
Post # 9
Thanks for the respeonces so far everyone! Looks like I *may* just be able to get away with both options which is welcome news! 🙂 That being said…I am anticipating at least one grumble from someone whose precious offspring isn’t invited!!
Post # 10
@LadyKM: We’re going all or nothing for the reception, and that includes my own 3 little sisters. The ceremony is going to be crazy short and at the beach, so I really don’t care if people want to lug them along for that, but the reception is in a backyard with a large pool and there will be a good amount of alcohol.
I really don’t expect any flack, since I think most parents wouldnt want their “speshul schnoflakes” running around a large body of water at night with adults who have been drinking.
So, obviously, my vote is all or nothing.
Post # 11
FI’s cousins ages 4 and 8 are our flower girls. i’m sure the mother will also bring the 2 year old to the ceremony.
but no children are invited to the wedding reception.
this caused a lot of agruments between FI and I. he really wanted them there. our wedding is not a place for children.
if there were a lot of young children in either of our familes it might have been a different story. i wanted an elegant affair and children were not in that vision, especially these 3 children who were never taught table manners or manners in general. but who could have taught them because the parents don’t have them either.
Post # 12
We decided that aside from the 2 flower girls, and ring bearer (our nieces and nephew), we were having a child free wedding. I love all the kids we know, but if we invited them all that would be an additional 40 something children, under 10! Plus, there will be drinking/music/dancing. We are getting married late afternoon and having a night reception.
Under the reception part of our wedding website, we put “adult reception to follow” and then added that the reception would be in the same venue as the ceremony. Then at the bottom, I added “With the exeption of the minors in the bridal party, we would like our wedding to be a 16 & up only event. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us!”
Also, we are addressing the invitations by name of who is invited, and adding on our RSVP, “we reserved _ seats in your honor”.
Luckily, most of my family and friends with children understand that a wedding is no place for kids, and most of them are more than happy to come out and party with us child free!
Post # 13
I’ve been lucky, the only children that will be at the wedding are my three cousins, who are in it (7,5 and 2) and my pastor’s daughter who will be one. The rest of the people invited are all mostly older with no small kids.