Child policy at wedding (advice please!!)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which child policy is best??
    Invite kids who are family ONLY : (17 votes)
    47 %
    Invite kids if the fall into category one OR two : (16 votes)
    44 %
    Invite all kids even if they don't fall into category one or two. : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think its fine if you do both categories. Ours for the most party was the rule that “Family and Close family friends” we didn’t tell anyone specifically “NO KIDS” but we did invite a few as just Mr & Mrs. and aside from 1 family, its worked out well. No one has been complaining so far too

    Post # 4
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m in the process of sending out our invitations right now, and I’m using the same exact guidelines as you. I was also wondering if people with kids who didn’t fall into option 1 or 2 would get peeved, but then I decided that I’m not rich, and I can’t afford to invite every single person I know and their entire family, so oh well. I’m ready to handle the fall out if there is any… But I really hope there’s not.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4827 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    People get NUTSO about their little darlings being invited. I woud only allow close family children … but expect to get a ton of flack for it. 

     

    I personally wouldn’t let any kids come to my wedding. Weddings are adult events and I wasn’t having them. Kids are so annoying and I did not want them anywhere near me on the big day. Mean but true. The 4 families with babies got babysitters or left them home. (Hopefully!)

    Post # 6
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @lealorali:  agree

    I’m sending out my invitations in 2 weeks and I DREAD this issue more than anything else!

    Post # 7
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @LadyKM:  I think as long as you’re consistent, you’re golden.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2454 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    From personal experience that I am currently dealing with, I would go all or nothing. 

    We are only inviting my nieces (one being 3 months old and nursing) and my nephew. The next youngest person is 14 and he’s a direct cousin. 

    Even with those obvious rules, we are still getting people up in arms. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @lealorali:  +1

    @LadyKM:  We’re going all or nothing for the reception, and that includes my own 3 little sisters. The ceremony is going to be crazy short and at the beach, so I really don’t care if people want to lug them along for that, but the reception is in a backyard with a large pool and there will be a good amount of alcohol.

    I really don’t expect any flack, since I think most parents wouldnt want their “speshul schnoflakes” running around a large body of water at night with adults who have been drinking.

    So, obviously, my vote is all or nothing.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    FI’s cousins ages 4 and 8 are our flower girls.  i’m sure the mother will also bring the 2 year old to the ceremony.

    but no children are invited to the wedding reception. 

    this caused a lot of agruments between FI and I.  he really wanted them there.  our wedding is not a place for children.

    if there were a lot of young children in either of our familes it might have been a different story.  i wanted an elegant affair and children were not in that vision, especially these 3 children who were never taught table manners or manners in general.  but who could have taught them because the parents don’t have them either.

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    3538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We decided that aside from the 2 flower girls, and ring bearer (our nieces and nephew), we were having a child free wedding.  I love all the kids we know, but if we invited them all that would be an additional 40 something children, under 10!  Plus, there will be drinking/music/dancing.  We are getting married late afternoon and having a night reception.  

    Under the reception part of our wedding website, we put “adult reception to follow” and then added that the reception would be in the same venue as the ceremony.  Then at the bottom, I added “With the exeption of the minors in the bridal party, we would like our wedding to be a 16 & up only event. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us!”

    Also, we are addressing the invitations by name of who is invited, and adding on our RSVP, “we reserved _ seats in your honor”.

    Luckily, most of my family and friends with children understand that a wedding is no place for kids, and most of them are more than happy to come out and party with us child free! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’ve been lucky, the only children that will be at the wedding are my three cousins, who are in it (7,5 and 2) and my pastor’s daughter who will be one.  The rest of the people invited are all mostly older with no small kids.

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