Post # 1
Goodness, I don’t know how I’m going to explain this all….
So my daughter just turned 2 in mid August and her dad had LITERALLY only bought her 1 pack of diapers and a bed since she’s been on this earth. He never sees her. He never calls her. He never give me any money. He’s such a selfish asshole.
For example, he’s in college now and EVERY refund check is used on “studio equipment” and drugs. That’s it. We don’t get one red cent.
My boyfriend and entire family thinks I should put him on child support and I’m to the point where I want to, too.
I want to know your experiences. I also want to request sole custody, because of things he did to me while I was pregnant, but I’m not sure how that process goes, either.
Anything helps ladies. 🙂
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Yes, I would go after him for child support because he’s clearly not doing it on his own accord. Also, as far as sole custody and the lot… I would consult a lawyer on your options. Many may offer free consultations. 🙂
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I have a CS order for my ex. He never stays at a job long enough for them to catch-up with him and collect, or he works under the table. I am currently owed $96,000. I will never see a penny of it. C’est la vie.
As for sole custody, you may get sole physical custody (your ex has visitation rights, and you two will set-up a visitation schedule via mediation), but getting sole legal custody is impossible unless he has done something absolutely horrific directly to your child (not to you. you do not matter in the eyes of the legal system). Technically my abusive ex and I have shared legal custody of DS, even though my ex has not contacted DS in more than 12 years or ever contributed (financially) to raising DS.
Post # 4
LMD: thanks! I’ll definitely consult a lawyer. And you’re right, he doesn’t even call.
lovekiss: hooonnneeeyyyyy I wish it did matter. He put me in the hospital when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had to go to work with a black eye. Smh. And honestly, I think it’ll be like your situation, I’ll just end up being owed. But ohhhhh when they get him… I do, however, have his SSN and his mother’s address. And his college address. Could that help at all in locating him?
Post # 5
Absolutely consult a lawyer. I think it will really vary from state to state. My friend has been in a similar situation and despite being court ordered to pay child support, she saw very little of it. The fact that he didn’t pay didn’t impede his visitation rights either, which is completely BS in my opinion. It sounds like he wants nothing to do with her though so hopefully you have an easier time and can get him to sign over his rights. Good luck!
Post # 6
The child is already two, i would have done this after 3 months of not recieving anything. I am curious why you haven’t done it yet? Are you scared it will complicate things? Do you think he will be mad? Are you just over going to court?
Even if he doesnt pay, they will give you his tax refund check from the goverment. My loser ex was always so mad he always just got a letter in the mail saying it had been siezed haha. Plus he wont be allowed to leave the country even for travel. If he ever does get a job in the future, they will take money out for back child support starting from when you filed for it.
Post # 7
leisha606: ikr? Honestly I was just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. His dad was shit. Is just being too nice. Plus I was full custody, but my daughter’s good mother thinks that’ll be bitchy. So I’ve been torn
Post # 8
As a former single parent, I think you have an obligation to your child to ask for child support through the legal system if you aren’t getting it otherwise. If you are managing financially now, you can always invest the money for her education.
Check with family court in your area. There are alternative procedures that do not always require you to hire a lawyer, e.g we have family court mediation here.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
s2bmzbrown: You can give the CS enforcement agency all of the information that you have on him and they will take it from there. Honestly, I concluded that it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. I don’t hound CS enforcement, they don’t chase my ex from job to job to job, and my ex forgets all about us (and the 3 other children and baby Mommas that came after me). I would much rather have nothing at all to do with my ex than deal with him, even if that means I never see a cent. DS is a better person for not having contact with my ex.
Post # 10
s2bmzbrown: it is not bitchy.
its sad that sometimes mothers are made to feel that way (and dad’s too!) you are not keeping the other parent from their child. Custody order usually still allows visitation and the ability to amend it based on behavior. It just makes sure that you so what is best for your child and you have the full authority to do so.
God forbid there was a medical emergency and the doctors needed permission to peform something on your daughter and you couldn’t locate him? Since he never calls or visits. Same with school decisions or moving out of the state. All of this will have to be approved by your ex before you can do anything. Seems like a lot of power to give someone who cant be bothered with their own child.
Post # 11
julies1949: I definitely will!! Thanks 🙂
lovekiss: honestly that’s my mindset, I’d rather not even have CS services involved. But at the same time
leisha606: has a good point… What if I need some kind of medical release or I want to move? Though, if we were never married, just engaged, he doesn’t have those rights anyway, right?
Post # 12
Is your ex on the birth certificate? If not, and you do pursue legal action (in the form of child support) he will be granted rights and most likely some visitation. I have spent more then I will ever recover in child support fighting for my child. If I had it to do over I never would have pursued any claim. It just depends on what you think he will do.
Post # 13
s2bmzbrown: A “refund check” is for student loans to pay for student expenses. It’s not income. Just sayin.
But he should be paying child support from income from working.
Post # 14
If you think it will be hard for CS to collect, it may not be worth your time and effort because he will be given visitation and you may not want him in your child’s life- if he abused you. And yes, he does have parental rights even if you werent ever married.
Post # 15
Consult an attorney, a lot of them will do an initial consult for free and then you can decide on a do it yourself route or what services of theirs to use.