(Closed) Children allowed or not?

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Luckily, we are having a small wedding and the only children we have to consider will be 10, 11, and 12, and they are very well behaved, so I don’t have to put much thought into whether to include them or not. We will be including them.

However, if we had to consider young ones, we would probably include them too; just because I would feel bad if we didn’t. Parents should have enough sense, even though sometimes they don’t, to not bring their young children to a night wedding.

If I were you, I would include them, but spread the word that you would appreciate it if the parents would use good sense and leave the with a sitter, if they might be a problem. Another option would be to see if you have a young person that would be willing to babysit them in a room close by, so the parents could check on them through the night.

One of my cousins just got married and the first thing that my grandma said that she enjoyed about the wedding was that she included the children.

Post # 4
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s up to you and depends on the type of ceremony/reception you’re having. If you’re having a long church wedding with a formal seated reception, it’s totally understandable to opt for sans kiddos. If you’re having a short ceremony and an outdoor buffet, then kids would be pretty easily accommodated and it might look strange to exclude them. Utlimately this is totally your decision and your day, so choose what you feel most comfortable with. I recently helped out a friend who has two kids at a wedding. The reception was in a barn and it was a laid back but very classy afair. I had left the table to take pictures of the speeches when the three-year old darted onto the stage and tried to dance with the bride. Yikes. The only kids that will be at my wedding someday will be nieces and nephews and they’ll all be older.

Post # 5
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well, for us it was a no-brainer to include younglings also, but that’s because we HAVE two younglings! 8 and 4.  Plus, I have two nephews ages 7 & 4… my FI has a nieces that’s 3 and the mom is expecting twins.  Even if it weren’t the case, we’d involve the kids. 

I will say, from a mother’s point of view, that a long ceremony for young kids won’t go over good with the kids.  It’s doubtful they’ll be able to sit through a long ceremony. 

If you’re planning on a ceremony longer than, oh…. 30 minutes tops (using my two and my two nephews as a judge), I’d suggest having a place where the kids can go with someone supervising them. 

Our wedding is to be outside and will be no longer than 15 mins tops. 

maybe someone would be willing to watch the littlest ones during the ceremony or you can hire someone???  If it’s in a church, perhaps ask if you could use the area they have sunday school for the kids and hire a babysitter???

just a few thoughts.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

we are including kids, because I love them so much. I never would think about excluding them.

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you decide the kids can manage to sit through the ceremony, there are fun ways to include them in the reception – I’ve seen couples do a “candy dance” for little ones (and even older ones who are not quite old enough to participate in bouquet/garter toss festivities) – they play a fun song such as Sugar, Sugar, by the Archies and have the kids come out to the dance floor with the bride and groom and the couple tosses candy everywhere for the kids to pick up. Sounds like you have a tough decision though – good luck 🙂

Post # 8
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are only inviting a very small number of children. 2 are under the age of 13 (but extremly well behaved) and 4 are teenagers.

Post # 10
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

We are strictly no children, not even in the wedding party. This mostly was a no brainer as we don’t have any children in the family and none of my friends have kids with one exception. By not inviting children we excluded 5 kids between the ages of 3 and 8 and are completely okay with that. Some of FI’s friends have children and we agreed that they would be able to attend as they would need to travel agreat distance but, in the end the friends with children are not coming due to the distance and one chose to attend while his wife and 2 children stay home.

My one friend with a newborn nicely asked if she could bring said baby due to having to travel for the weekend and we said yes so we will have one newborn but I don’t think any one else will be upset their children are not included.

Post # 11
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We aren’t having any kid at the wedding. Which was a big to do with FI’s family but FI and I both decided that we don’t want little kids running around everywhere at the reception and the ceremony as both are outside and at a pretty large venue. Also a good the majority of the weddings I have been to with kids a kid has always cried through the ceremony and the parents have just sat there and let them cry and I think that is very disrespectful to the bride and groom and don’t want that to happen on Fi’s and I’s big day.

We made our bridal shower jack and jill and on the invitation we wrote “this event is for the whole family as the ceremony and reception are adults only” We also made our bridal shower super kid friendly with a swimming pool, and a 100ft slip n’ slide and all the little girls got veils to feel like they were apart of the wedding iin some way.

Post # 12
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We are having no kids. Its a great way to cut costs and I have a few kids in the family who are rude and have no manners.

Post # 14
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m 23, will be 24 when we get married. No kids under the age of 12 at our wedding. We don’t have any nieces or nephews or any small children that we’re very close to. Plus, we agree that a nighttime event at a fancier venue isn’t the appropriate place for children. Also, if we’d invited all children, that would have been 25+ additional guests.

Post # 15
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No young kids (like, under 10 or 12) here, either. We’re getting married in an historic mansion (like, listed on the National Register historic), and it’s really not kid-friendly. Aside from that, there would only be a few kids in that age group, so no one for them to really play with – and no place to play, either.

Also, the kids in the age group have a history of being, well, ill-behaved brats, and I really do not want to pay to restore an antique whatever that they’ve destroyed.

(Plus, I really hate kids. If I could make my entire life child-free – no kids at restaurants, grocery stores, doctors’ offices, etc. – I would. The sound of little voices (and screams and whines) just makes my skin crawl. I’ve never held a baby, and I don’t care if I die without ever doing so.)

Post # 16
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are having a Friday night wedding, with an adult-only reception. The only child there will be the flower girl (one of my BM’s daughter).

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