Post # 1
My sister is organizing my wedding shower which will be on a Saturday afternoon at a nice restaurant with mimosa’s 🙂 We decided to not invite children so she didn’t put my cousins kids names on the invite. Neither of us felt it was appropriate for children to attend the shower as it will be so nice and there will be nothing for them to do. My cousin received her invite and FB messaged my sister asking if her girls could attend-ages 3 & 7. Now we’re wondering how she should respond. My cousins girls are not very well behaved and whenever my cousins around she is all about her kids. I worry if they come she’ll be taking care of one of them the entire time and then someone else will have to help with the other one. Not to sound bridezilla-like, but I feel like the attention should be focused on me and not the children at an event for my wedding.
Do you agree kids shouldn’t be at the shower? If so, what is a good way to tell my cousin no?
Post # 3
I printed out little slips that said “No children please.” in bold and put them in my shower invites.. so I think you can guess my opinion on this. I also agree that there will be nothing for the children to do at the shower, and more than likely they’ll be running around, etc.
Post # 4
We always have the little girls in the family at showers. As a matter of fact, my neice’s is tomorrow and we’ll have 7 of them there and maybe a few infants.
They’re always fascinated by all the pretty presents and ribbons and bows, and actually love picking up the wrapping paper to ‘help’. We’ve never had an issue having them there (in restaurants, every time).
Post # 5
Growing up my sister and I went to all of our families showers. I HATED them (probably why I didn’t want to have any showers as an adult). I was always bored and had to sit there with a smile plastered on my face. Not so much fun for a kid. We were always well behaved (my mother was no nonsense), but not all the kids were.
All that being said – we don’t really have anyone with kids invited to our showers – so I guess not so much of an issue. If I was in your situation, I would mention that due to the drinking you prefer no children attend. I think that might be the nicest way to put it?
Post # 6
I’m okay with having children at the shower. I know my aunt will bring my flower girl, age 9, then I’m hoping some other people bring their girls do they can somewhat entertain each other. An added thought is that it is nice for them to attended that as I’m not sure in your case but other than flower girl and ring bear there are no children invited to our wedding. Last thought on this and this imime but doesn’t sound like you but I’m hopeful to have them take a little attention off of me because the idea of having 40ish people focused on me makes me uncomfortable even knowing not the whole time. Idk just another perspective.
Post # 7
Sorry Im pro kids at the shower and the wedding. We are going to have some crafts set up in a corner at the shower for them to do or they can help by carrying gifts and cleaning up paper and stuff. If you want maybe suggest that the dad keeps them and then drops by at the end of the night to pick her up and let the kids visit with relatives for a few minutes.
Post # 8
I think it is great to include the kids. It is what my whole family does/has always done. But in your case it doesn’t sound like the shower you have planned is kid friendly. I would just let her know the venue/setting of the shower is not kid friend and that it would probably be best to leave them at home.
Post # 9
your shower is not kid friendly, I say no Kids!!! I agree with @ieatunicorns:
Post # 10
I don’t think kids should be at a shower especially one that’s at a nice place. Just tell her that you’re not having children at the shower. It’s your shower you deserve to have it be nice with no carrying on.
I didn’t have a choice becuase I didn’t know details about my shower, it was a surprise. So there were a few small children there as well as a one year old. Well, during the middle of the shower, the 4 year old pushed the one year old and she hit her head on the very hard floor so there was drama and screaming while I was opening my gifts. She was fine in 5 minutes by the way but they left about 10 minutes after that.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Considering that the girls aren’t well-behaved, I see nothing wrong with your sister telling her “Sorry, but we’re keeping this an adults only event.”
Post # 12
I agree SummerGirl21. It sounds like a very nice shower and it should be about you. But you also want your guests to have a nice time and they shouldn’t have to worry about the distraction of children, it’s nice just to have adult time and drink mimosas.
Not to say that I don’t see the side of having children at the shower, my two flower girls will be present. They are 7/8 and extremely well behaved, but I’m sure they won’t be interested so much so they will probably be off playing in another part of the room. But misbehaving children would be more of an annoyance to everyone. My other 2 showers (yes i’m having three, not my choice) will be child free events that involve wine and mimosas.
Post # 13
I would just have her explain there will be some alcohol there and no other kids so it’s not really the best situation to bring kids. Are you inviting them to the wedding? My wedding is adults only since it will be open bar and the reception will run to 11:30 PM so I am taking the chance to invite the kids to the shower
Post # 14
I think it’s up to you since it’s your shower. But for me I actually wanted my nieces and nephews there. We had a fancy brunch in a private wine room at a restaurant in NYC. There were mimosas with lunch but nothing crazy and really who’s going to get drunk at a bridal shower?
But then again my nieces and nephews are really well behaved and we had activity bags for them. I think they got a kick out of being involved in such a adult event. They got to order off the menu while the adults had a set menu. My 6 yr old niece ordered crispy pork belly! We were all quite jealous! hahaha
P.S. None of our guest list asked to bring their kids to the shower. If they had I would have let my bridesmaids make the decision since they were the ones paying for their meal. But I woud have been fine either way.
Post # 15
@alphagam84: I agree with you for the type of shower you are having. I had a similar shower and situation with a close friend who assumed she could bring her child even after it was clear it was adult only. She sent me a text stating she would bring her daughter, and I really wish she’d asked instead of stated as that might have made a difference. Since I wasn’t the hostess, my MOH was, I informed my MOH about it. We politely said that we understood her situation but it was an adult only affair. We offered to help find a sitter and pay for it, which we did. Also, there were other guests that have children they could have otherwise brought to the bridal shower but only the women were invited, not their children. They made arrangements for their kids to be looked after, and may have wondered why we accommodated the one friend but not them, and so I wanted to be fair to all guests. I hope this helps you form your own thoughts on your response to your cousin. Good luck!
Post # 16
- Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL
I’m having a co/ed bridal shower, but I doubt kids will be invited invited.
When my sister had her bridal shower, her FSIL showed up with her 2 boys plus a random neighborhood boy (even though she was told not to bring them as it was girls only), and they completely destroyed all the decorations, made a mess with the chocolate fountain (they smeared chocolate onto my sister’s white skirt), and were throwing tantrums. Then they let all 3 dogs out of the bedroom and they were all running around screaming. It was an utter nightmare, and my sister was heartbroken.