(Closed) Children at the wedding?? Huge argument please shed some light

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

When was this other wedding? I have a 6 year old of my own and can’t imagine mine “sobbing that he wants his mommy” in the middle of it. I mean…he’s not 2. How long is your ceremony?

Post # 4
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can’t imagine a 6 year old behaving like that???  I also think children of brothers and sisters should be invited.   Can’t she be the flower girl?  My flower girl was 2.5 and behaved like a champ!

I don’t think you can have the 11 year old without the 6 year old. 

Post # 5
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do you think maybe she will refrain from wandering all around the church if she had a “job” to do? For example, if she was given the role of flowergirl, perhaps she would be impressed with the seriousness of this position and will stay up at the front. Plus, since her mom is in the BP, if she needed her mom, she’ll be a few feet away.

I tend to agree with your FI though about about an 11 year old but not a 6 year old. It can be argued that that the cutoff is teens and above, but technically 11 is not a teen.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Remember that it’s not “MY wedding,” it’s “OUR wedding.” I think that if your FI wants his niece there and you would like your cousin there, you need to meet one another halfway. You can have your FI talk to his sister about making sure her daughter knows not to walk around during the ceremony.

Post # 7
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree that allowing the 11 year old to come and not the 6 year old wouldn’t be the best idea. Especially because the 6 year old is a niece and the 11 year old is a cousin. I think that this would probably cause some problems. 

Post # 9
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you’re being unfair. You agreed to invite teenagers and older. An 11 yr old boy will not care if he can’t attend a wedding.

Post # 10
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Is it possible to have her grandparents keep an eye on her?

Post # 11
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

So maybe the solution is to NOT make her a flower girl and, as PP suggested, have her seated with her grandparents to keep an eye on her.

Post # 13
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do you have a coordinator? We had both a DOC and a venue coordinator and both coordinators gave very clear directions to our FGs as to what is expected of them. I don’t think we had wanderers but it was helpful to have a neutral, respectful third party look them in the eye (like their school teacher) and explain clearly what they can and cannot do. In some ways, because this is a neutral third party and not someone they know personally, it probably really impressed upon them that this was serious business. Everyone was shocked that our FGs performed so well and did exactly what we all hoped they would do (and mine were both younger than your niece).

Post # 15
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

eh, I think there is a huge difference between an 11 and a 6 year old.  Don’t see why the cut-off couldn’t be 10.  On the other hand if the 6 year old is the only child in question then I’d prob just want to keep the peace and let her come and ask an aunt or friend to watch her.  A six year old can behave.

Post # 16
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

when it comes down to it, a 6 year old or an 11 year old won’t be totally ticked off if they’re not invited. Their lives will go on and they’ll have a fun time eating crap food and watching rented movies with the babysitter. (I’m clearly a believer that unless the ‘kid’ is in high school, they don’t need to be at the formal adult event). I agree with you FI, to keep the peace neither should be invited and BOTH of you will have a lovely time and it won’t even cross your mind!

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