Weddingbee boards

i have a dilemma.  I am having an evening reception, and really want it to be "adults only".  However, both FI and I adore my two cousins (aged 2 and 5) and wouldn't dream of getting married without them. 

I have heard from many sources that its OK to have kids who are in the wedding party (we plan to make them both flower girls) , but the problem is now that the two girls' mother (who also happens to be one of my bridesmaids) just found out that she is pregnant and due 2 months before the wedding.

 The new baby has to attend the wedding.  Will this piss everyone else off?

 At this point, adding everyone's kids (to the tune of about 25 additional guests -- we are a family of procreators) is cost prohibitive.  Not only all of the extra food and decor, but if we top 200, which we certainly would, we have to pay our venue an additional $2000 (STUPID!!!!).  Should I take the flack for cherry picking my "favorite kids" or pay the extra dough and not piss anyone off?

Ditto what Beccs said.  If the two little girls are in the party, then it makes sense for an exception for them.  If the mother of the girls (which essentially makes her a part of the party, pretty much) has an infant, I think an exception makes sense for her too.  The girls cannot be there w/o their mom, and she cannot be there w/o the baby.  'Nuff said! 

I might consider making an exception for anyone else who has a newborn too, but then it's a slippery slope...and you could end up w/ more than just one crying baby while you're walking down the aisle. (Not to be mean...just practical.)

I did make the offer to one of my BM's who had a young infant (he was about 5-6 mos. at the time of our wedding) that she could be the one exception to our strict "NO KIDS!" rule, but she said she wouldn't dream of it -- she wanted the chance to cut loose and enjoy time w/ her husband!

You do need to stand firm about any other children, though, otherwise people's feelings will be hurt.  They might be hurt anyway, but at least you'll be able to explain rationally that there is a rule.  You'll probably need to clarify to your close family, too, what "child" means -- anyone under 16, etc.  I don't have kids, so maybe I sound callous, but I don't think it's fair for anyone to expect that you invite and feed their child who will not completely understand and/or appreciate the significance of a wedding, and in many cases, won't remember it past the next week.  Good luck -- I know that people can get very touchy about the whole no kids thing... 

Thanks all for the great advice!  I feel so much better :)  These kids ARE my first cousins, so I can make that argument as well. 

 Princesskitty, good call on including anyone else with an infant.  I think any baby under 6 months qualifies, does that sound right?  

Sure, but like I said, you might want to really carefully consider that b/c you could end up w/ a lot of crying babies.    But, it might truly mean the difference between a person coming and not coming.  A sitter for an infant is a really different thing than a sitter for a 3 year old, IMO...but then again, I don't have kids...

We're trying to figure out the kid thing as well, but a lot of the friends who have kids who we've talked to said the same thing as a lot of people above have said: "heck no we're not bringing the kids! We want to have fun!" And one couple asked if we're going to have a list of babysitters available for hire, which we will as my mom is a high school coach.

We know some people will have small kids there, and my FI suggested that during the ceremony, we also have a babysitter (or two) to watch the kids in the cry room so they don't interrupt the ceremony.