- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014 - Akiin Beach Club, Tulum Mexico
Hello Bees,<br />I’m about to get married to the love of my life, my soul mate, in a month and we’re having our first (marital) dilemma. We have been together since our early twenties (we’re now 28 and 29), and living together and in love ever since, and although we always contemplated the idea of having children after marriage, we’re now getting cold feet about it – even though we talked about trying for a baby by the end of the year. Last night in bed I started the conversation with “do we want to have children?” followed by a huge list of cons and about two reasons under the pros – all this made us think deeply. At our age we’re pretty successful, he’s in software engineering and I have just left a great job in executive recruiting (HR) to open my own business this year (related w/design). We travel at least 2 or 3 times a year for pleasure, this includes going to different countries and continents. We often go to concerts out of town, and go on what most people call “dates” (for us is just one of the normalities in our lives together) every weekend doing fun activities (painting classes, pottery classes, movies, dining out to new restaurants, horse riding, etc.). We have a very tight and great relationship that honestly we don’t hang out with people or friends in a regular basis, because we don’t feel the need as we have been perfectly fine and happy doing everything in our own, because it has worked beautifully since we met. </br> <br> So going back to the main subject, we are scared of giving all this up for a child. We asked ourselves so many questions, thought of so many scenarios with having a child that the more we talked about it the more we are getting cold especially with all these new responsibilities that come along. FI asked the inevitable “what if we regret this afterwards?”, but shortly after he followed with “and what if we regret having children?” – I guess it’s 50/50 like it is with everything. We always talked about having children, seeing our bundles of love, but we realized we were only thinking about the cute and sweet aspects of children, not the reality of them crying, throwing tantrums, waking up any time they feel like (4, 5, 6 AM) and depending on us from the day they’re born until needed. I just would like to get your stories, your experiences…. How was your relationship with your significant other prior and after having children? How is your relationship with yourself before and after having children? What have you given up, what have you gained as a parent? Would love to hear from bees who have decided not to have children as well, how has this affected your life? And for all of you with children or not, any regrets? Thank you and I look forward to reading your responses. [Had to edit to remove all the weird HTML code bug].
- This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by MrsJager2014.