- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I understand the frustration when everyone wants to push their opinions on you!
We were facing a similar dilema but ended up letting all the kids have "Adult" meals b/c we didn't reach our minimum number of guests. We were paying for 200 "adult" meals no matter what, so it just made sense to give them to the kids.
I find it interesting that they are pushing this on you. Most of the kids I know would prefer chicken fingers to chicken saltimbocca anyway!!
Are you having a seated reception? If so, can you add a line to the RSVP cards for for kids meals?
Can you ask the recommendation of the caterer and stick to their age suggestion. If your family brings it up, just tell them that that's what the caterer recommends. (sorata shifting your responsiblity to the caterer) My venue recommends ages 12 and under to get a kid's meal.
I think it's too early to make this decision - like Daisy Bride said - she ended up having to reach her minimum so everyone got adult meals. I also don't think it should be up for discussion at all especially since you have so many nieces and nephews attending. They should either all get kids meals or all get adult meals and it should be up to you. Since when does anyone get to dictate how fancy their meal or their childrens meals will be at someone elses wedding?? I've never emailed a relative and said "You'd better include a beef option or else I'm going to think you're tacky". Just eat what's put in front of you!
yeah i'm sorry that people are pushing this on you. at the end of the day, it's your money and your decision. But seriously, I would get kids meals for the kids. You are absolutely right about them prefering chicken fingers. Kids have very simple palettes and i'm sure they'll just pick at the adult entree they have and not actually eat it. Go with your gut on this one.
Um, 12 and over for adult meals and under 12 for kids' meals! I mean, hellooooo. Just tell them you aren't paying for children to eat adult meals. Don't do it
When I was little, I wouldn't eat anything that I didn't recognize as immediately familiar, and I don't think I was terribly unusual in this. Get kids' meals for the kids and let the adults get worked up about it if they have to... just don't tell them and let them find out at the wedding. You can tell them you ordered adult meals for everyone and just let them get mad at the caterer on the day of! ;)
I say, you're the one paying for it and so therefore you are the one who gets final say. Seriously, how many 8 year olds are eating adult entrees when they dine out with their own parents? I have a feeling most of the mommies and daddies are not allowing their little darlings to order $45 entrees in nice restaurants. ANYHOO... is there any way that your caterer can make a "child's entree" that was similar to your adult entree? Maybe something that was a little nicer than the usual chicken fingers but still not as fancy as the adult meal? Maybe they could do it for a price that was a few dollars more than your children's meal.
Or, you could just let your sister have the adult meals for her kids and then do kids meals for the rest. I think if anyone seriously notices, then they would assume it was a mistake made by your server/caterer and not a prearranged thing. If your mom, sister, you, and FI say nothing then no one will ever know :)
I'm all for sneaky food situations. I'm serving coconut prawns at my wedding and fully intend on telling my Jewish FMIL that it was an emergency last minute subsitution that the kitchen had to make. :)
This is ridiculous that these people insist that you get the kids "Adult" meals. I think is so inconsiderate, considering that you're paying for whole wedding. Even though they don't know the actual costs, it's a presumption that a full size adult meal is more costly. I also don't think the kids can eat the entire adult proportion and that most of it would be wasted. Also, children should just eat what they're given, just because these people want to cater to the whims of children don't mean you have to go out of your way to please them too.
It's your wedding and people need to respect it. It's a wedding for god sake, people should not expect to only show up for a free meal and all you can drink bar.
I suggest you tell these people that the caterer insists that children 12 and under order from kids selections. What they don't know won't hurt them nor drive you crazy.
I say choose an age limit and STICK TO IT!!!!
No matter what anyone else says!!!!!
Umm, no, I'm on your side and I would just honestly order kid's meals for all the children who fall within a certain age range. Period. End of story.
On our reply card, we told guests point-blank that all children under the age of 12 would be getting a kid's meal, and to please write how many children in each party were attending. We didn't even give them a choice because honestly, we wanted to save the money (there was a $35 different between kid's and adult meals with our venue). And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that all kids in the age group would prefer chicken fingers to some fancy meal.
If I were you, I would stand firm, not mention it again, and if it comes up, just say it's taken care of, per recommendations from your caterer/venue, and that you'd like to stop discussing it.
@Miss Root: I really hope that those coconut prawns are not part of the actual dinner and just part of the appetizer that your FMIL and any other people keeping kosher can avoid. Religiously barred foods are a big deal to a lot of people. I hope this doesn't cause huge problems between you and your FMIL.
I like the "blame the caterer" idea. Besides, the kids are only going to eat 5 bites of whatever you put in front of them and eat all of the leftover cake slices on your table. Duhhhh
Um, too bad if the kid gets upset because his older sister gets an adult meal. He's 9, not 5. He needs to learn that life isn't always fair... and he probably won't even like the adult menu.
Under 12 get a kids meal... especially if you have 20+ kids at the event. No questions about it! Just keep it simple and give them all kids meals.
My 16 year old brother requested the kids menu because he's a picky eater & won't touch anything on our menu lol. Mac & cheese, chicken strips & fries followed by a big bowl of ice cream... He just saved me $100 lol.
Recessionista! that's pretty funny, and very true. I'm going to fudge our numbers for the buffet because I know my brothers (16,12,10) will just pick at the food and drink 6 sodas and have cake. No way do they counted towards the numbers!
Seriously... I will buy my brother 2 kids meals if he wants! If my FI asked for it, I'd put him down for a kids meal too lol. I want people to eat what I'm serving them.
If I paid for all the kids to have adult meals & they barely touched it I'd be pissed.
Hey - I'm with the masses on this one - pick an age, then stick to it. Kids under 12, or 14, or whatever, get the kids meal. $15 difference is still $15 difference! It DOES add up!
The tricky part is going to be explaining to your sister and mom - depending on how your family will receive the news, I would say you have options of how to do it:
1) tell them it's too significant a cost difference (don't need to say how much) for you to consider switching all the kids to a meal most of them won't eat, and you don't want to be unfair
2) tell them your caterer STRONGLY recommends the kids meal for kids under X age, and as the expert, you're going to defer to his judgment; your cousins can split their two meals if the 8 year old is seriosly THAT discontent with his portion in life, and their own mother can be responsible for facilitating that (after all, not your kid, not your problem!)
3) don't tell them, then just pretend you 'forgot' (and go with the caterer line) if they throw a fuss at the wedding. this one will depend on how much trouble you think your sister will be at the wedding. if she's going to make a scene, avoid this one!
Good luck!
We are just doing that all kids under X age (I think their age range was up to 12 for the kids meals). All of those 12 and under, get kids meals. No matter what siblings get, etc. I guess I just grew up in a family where you didn't fight over food - you ate what was served, or you ate something later (aka you made a PB&J). I would just make this decision across the board - people don't need to know how much you are paying for this or that, as it isn't their business. Besides, an extra $15 here and there, will really add up! Good Luck.
STICK TO YOUR GUNS and make sure to tell the caterer not to offer the adult meals to the your young-uns. Our wedding was small (26 eating peeps) and I told the restaurant contact to offer children's menu to all kids. And when the bill came, they said 2 of them ordered adult means. One was 12 and the other was 9. And the difference between an adult and a kid's meal was $50 each!!! It's true this "mistake" only costed us $100 BUT imagine what it will cost a wedding party with lots of kids. STICK TO YOUR GUNS and tell the caterer and waiters/waitresses too. The waitresses asked those two kids what they wanted. I'm thinking...uh HELLO!!! Of course they want adult meals so that they can also feel grown up too. UGH!
HappiJoyce -
I would have told the servers to tell the kids that it's not an option to have an adult meal - lol. What does a 9 year old need with an adult sized meal anyways? There is a reason they have 'kids menus.' I'm with ya.
- Bella
I'm curious how old the 9 yr old's sister is. Can she just og on the kids' menu too? Then your problem will be completely solved.
But if not, I agree, stick to your guns. If it's that important, then someone can give the little guy a piece of their meal. It's not fair for people to dictate how much to spend when you are doing it all yourself. And don't be afraid to say why it's not going to fly.
I'll also say, while your sister was inconsiderate to insist, (The nerve, right? Maybe a polite "asking" would be acceptable.) I will say, since she's your sister, I'd just allow a little extra forgiveness. Sisters, moms, etc they're so close to you, they feel like they can just say however they feel, and you'll still lovet hem no matter what. They probably also feel like they can be "exceptions" from other guests. Other people in our lives, realize they still need to observe some sense of social restraint. But we're stuck with our family...... So likewise, I'm sure your sister will get over you turning down an adult meal for her little one.
seriously, who has ever seen kids sit down and eat their entire meal at a family function? doesnt happen at mcdonalds and it doesnt happen at a wedding - afterall, there is cake coming soon so thats what kids care about
kids get kids meal so stick to your guns on this
Bella,
I didn't know the waitresses were going to offer the 9 and 12 years old adult meals. I was very specific with our restaurant contact and thought she would've told the wait staff too. Appearantly not. And we didn't know they were offered until after the reception when we got the bill. The wait staff had already given them food by the time we came back from our beach photo shoot.
Soon2beMrs, STICK TO YOUR GUNS and make sure that the words spread amongst your wait staff and caterer....=)
Um, so your sister suggests that you complicate your catering decisions and budget to make her and her 9 year old's life easier? $15 pp extras add up quickly and besides that's a ridiculous request. I'd pick either age 10 or 12 for adult meals and keep it simple.
Pick an age and stick with it. For example, I decided no children will be at my wedding. Not only that but no one under the age of 21 will be at my wedding. I don't care what anyone says...I'm not having it and I tell them tht. So pick and age so when people ask why not you can have a specific answer ready. Otherwise they might try to guilt you into it.
thanks ladies!!!! We are having a seated reception (as opposed to buffet style), so all of your suggestions will come in handy! i think i will stick to my guns on this, because you are right, why should i have to seriously overextend myself so that a kid can eat an adult meal???? honestly?!!! and the funny thing is, my cousin whose older sister will be eating an adult meal, the only reason she will be is bc the kid has had an expensive pallet since birth...sushi, lobster, you name it, she has tried it and loves it! needless to say, her brother only feels it is his right to get the same treatment. im gonna try to not stress as much about it, and when the day rolls around "blame it" on the caterer! :)
If he's going to be jealous of what his sister's eating...why not just give the sister a kid's meal too? It's evil, but it works. :)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Brielle | 44 |
| ndreighton | 29 |
 vorpalette |
29 |
| caseyleigh10 | 26 |
| les105 | 24 |
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| fishbone | 23 |
| lionskitty | 22 |
| SouthernGirl | 21 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| fishbone | 4 |
| lilgrizzlygirl | 3 |
| thursdayschild | 3 |
| eagle | 3 |
| tnanog | 3 |
| SapphireSun | 2 |
| andielovesj | 2 |
| j_jaye | 2 |
| Brielle | 2 |
| likelimeade | 2 |
Hi Bees!
Sorry i have been MIA...my world is a whirlwind right now!!!
Anywho, after having a casual conversation with my sister about whether or not my 8 year old male cousin (will be 9 by the time of our wedding) should have an adult meal, my sister STRONGLY suggested that he get an adult meal (bc his older sister is getting an adult meal and he will want what she wants....)...then, switch the scene to my mom, who feels all of my little cousins should be getting adult meals as well... Now of course we need balance. I will not have all adult meals for my cousins while neglecting my FI's side....However, FI (as I've mentioned before) has like 22 neices and nephews...which will bump our budget up considerably if we did do this.
I guess this is moreso of a rant than anyrthing else. Although our potential caterer only charges a $15 difference between adult and children meals, my family DOESNT KNOW THAT. We are paying for the wedding on our own. For all they could know, there could be a $80 difference between adult and children meals! I just really HATE that people suggest you HAVE to do something a certain way, or else you will look bad. WTF??!?!? Are you paying?!? And given the choice im sure most of the kids will choose chicken fingers over chicken saltimbocca....seriously!!!!
And im done with the vent.... :)