(Closed) Chinese American/ Caucasian Reception or Banquet in SF?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m Caucasian and my fiance is Chinese.  But it hasn’t really been a conflict for us. He wanted to have a Chinese wedding banquet, and I agreed. I’m a little nervous, but my family has all been very interested and excited so far. I think also if I had really argued against it, we would have come up with some other plan. (Although what, I dunno, two receptions?)

Sorry I don’t have much advice, but I empathize! It’s been interesting dealing with his parents. He was born in Hong Kong. They are traditional in some ways, but sometimes not in other ways. I think they think we’re silly to spend money on a wedding. He is very good at ignoring them and doing whatever he wants anyway, but I am not good at ignoring peoples’ opinions.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think your best bet is to NOT do it at a Chinese Banquet Hall because they will not be able to provide food your Fiance’s family will eat.

I think you need to find a happy medium.

Look for a venue with a caterer that can cook both. You’re in SF so I’m sure there are tons of Fusion caterers.

We went with a venue that had a caterer that did stations style, so our stations were Crepes, Asian (my caterer let me modified to more traditional Chinese wedding menu items), Steakhouse and Pasta. They also had a BBQ station.

A stations style might be a good option for you bc there will be lots of options for everyone. And lots of food which Chinese are used to at wedding.

I know every time my mom goes to a Western Plated Dinner wedding her complaint is ALWAYS the food. Not enough, not good and just not what she eats.

I’m Chinese and my husband is also Caucasion (German Irish). ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@piperhallie:

Hey, re: $$$. Our wedding was in NYC so market wise compareable to San Jose I imagine?

So pricing wise it wasn’t that much more pp to do the Stations considering for Chinese Banquets a respectable per table price is $700/$800 min seating 8-10. But that does not include booze.

Post # 7
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@piperhallie: ARe you set on having it in the bay area? Our venue in Foresthill actually did just that for another chinese/american couple… you may want to check them out…Forest House Lodge, Foresthill, CA, it’s about 2 1/2 hours from SJ….

Post # 9
Member
14317 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m Chinese, and FI is Caucasian, mostly German too!  The Chiense banquet wasn’t an option for us from the beginning.  I’ve dragged FI to family dinners and stuff that were Chinese banquet, and while he’ll eat a few dishes, he really doesn’t enjoy any of it.  I think it’d be way too much of a shock for his family.  On the other hand, I’m sure my side will complain about how little food an western style wedding has, but at least I know they will eat.  There will be plenty of other events where there’ll be a banquet (like when we have our first child for its 1 month old dinner, which I’m sure would be a Chinese banquet) , so they can miss out on one for my wedding.

Post # 11
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

have you considered self catering or renting a place that allows outside catering? that way you can do half western half chinese banquet much easier.

Post # 12
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My FI and I had arguments over Chinese banquet or American styled food we came to the resolution that we are having an American styled reception and a Chinese banquet rehearsal dinner.  Everyone is happy. ๐Ÿ™‚  But yes, Chinese banquet would have been cheaper and easier to plan.

Post # 15
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@pinkshoes:

I’d forgot all about the 1st month old dinner! Hehe. Oh, fun! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m excited for that IF my mom/brothers throw me one. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Should be a another shock for my husband, he’s never been to a 1st month old dinner before, I think. He’ll be so uncomfortable about people randomly sticking red envelopes into our -future not yet existent at least I don’t think so- baby’s blanket.

@piperhallie:

Do you have other family members who have had Western weddings before? In my family there is a aunt who is the matriarch of the whole clan and her two younger kids had western weddings. So the precedent was set and therefore less back talk and gossip.

And honestly as long as my mom and brothers were OK with it I could care less what the rest of the extended family has to say. How does your family feel about it?

We’re already breaking tradition by marrying a “gua loi!”

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