Weddingbee boards

I had originally envisioned using all white flowers at my ceremony (aisle, podium area, bridal bouquet, etc) but I was just informed by my mom that even though she's not superstitious, she doens't think I should do that since white is used at chinese funerals and signifies negative things.  While she may not care, other guests may, blah blah blah.  Has anyone also run into this problem with their family?  Is there something I can counter her with that i'm not thinking of?

 THANKS!

As much as my family is very westernized (ie born and raised in NY), my mom said no white flowers as well. I believe this a tradition embedded pretty deeply in the chinese culture.

In addition, my FMIL was very against our use of Aqua Blue and Navy Blue in our color scheme, in particular the invitations. Apparently it brings a bad omen to the receiver of the invitation and she went so far as to call Navy Blue "Dead Person Blue" in cantonese. In the end, it was easier to change the color scheme then go to battle over a color. It made all the mothers happy.

I would suggest maybe changing the colors to soft peaches, pinks and you can mix creams in maybe. But after weeks of discussion, I wasn't able to find a way around the issue. '

 Goodluck though! Let me know how it turns out.

wait, navy blue is also no good?  my save the date envelopes are navy but i've never heard of navy blue being a bad other in cantonese culture (i'm also cantonese).  does anyone else know?

im sorry! I didn't mean to worry you!

It's just what my FMIL said to us. I am not sure if it's true or she just said that to get us to change the color scheme

My parents are Taiwanese and they've never heard of the navy blue thing. In the end, whether its true or not, we had to change our colors.

If your mother hasn't said anything about the navy blue STD, I wouldn't bring it up. hahaha

My parents didn't care, but I knew if I had everything white my grandma might not like it very much, so I did a mix of colors.  I think type of flower also makes a difference.  Some are more "white" than others.  Callas can be white or creamy white with a colored throat, while pure white carnations or roses can be very stark in contrast.  Also, you can always add a bit of color with ribbon embellishments on the stems, etc. I ended up doing whites and creams with soft yellow/green (green hypernicum berries, etc.)  mixed in, and I honestly think everything looked better because of the added color.

I'm also Cantonese and my mom's only requirement for the wedding was no white flowers. She's really not that traditional (she even wanted me to wear a white cheongsam), but I think she thought the white flowers would upset the older generations. I ended up going with bright pink flowers and they really looked wonderful in the pictures.

Hum... what about those white Cymbidium orchids that are mostly white but have a little red in them?  Would your mother go for those?

 http://www.ftd.com/5970/catalog/product.epl?product_id=V884&index_id=product_flowers_orchids&parent_index=product_flowers

thanks for everyone's input so far.  i think i'm ok on the flowers thing, since we're doing an afternoon wedding, splashes of color is actually better anyway.

now i'm just really worried about the save the dates.  its a postcard magnet of a city skyline in blue tones and the envelopes are navy blue.  i just finished making 100 of these stinkin envelopes (b/c i needed 4x6 and places don't make them - but that's another story).  so do you think my older guests would be like.. OMG i got a DARK blue envelope and freak out???

Yeah I'm chinese and been getting a lot.  No blue anywhere in the wedding for the same reasons above, reminds them of death... so does giving clocks, anything in 4's including number of bridesmaids.   Try Ivory, it's technically not white, you can see what she thinks. 

Wow... I'm learing a lot from everyone here about your culture. It's really interesting!  

About the flowers:  Have you thought of "Bridal White" in roses and gerbers, etc?  It's kind of a white, ivory & pink mixed together. More of a blush white look with the center being a light pink.   You might go to a floral shop and ask to see one.

Here's two points you can try to make:

1) What chinese person goes to funerals in white?   (Everyone I know wears black even in movies, unless they were historical movies) 

 2) Western people even wear black to weddings now.