Post # 1
My FI has a few guys he’d like to have for a groomsmen, but I can’t think of anyone I’d like to have for my BM/MOH. Nobody sticks out in my circle of friends. I have more acquaintances than friends.
I’ve had a few falling outs with some girls I thought I was closer to.
There is one girl, I was very close with her in high school and after. She moved to a city a few hours away, and I disagree with a lot of her actions. It’s just a personal choice of my own. We got along together since we were both shy and introverts. Since she’s moved, she’s done a 180; she’s very outgoing, drinking every weekend and taking risqué photos.
I personally don’t agree with her choices, it makes me uncomfortable. She still texts me sometimes, and I realize people change but this is such a drastic change it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve tried to talk to her but she gets angry and says, “people change, get over it!” I loved having her as my friend 2 years ago, but now she’s changed so much I feel like we don’t find the same things funny, or have anything to talk about.
I don’t want to choose a BM or MOH just to fill the spot, right. My FI has about 3 guys he’d like to have on his side. I’ll feel a bit silly if it’s blank on my side though.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Any family you could ask?
Post # 4
I don’t think you need to put any pressure on yourself to have a wedding party. Especially of a certain number, and certainly not this far out. Here are some suggestions;
1. No wedding party, at least not standing with you. He can ask his three best guys to escort people to their seats, making them technically ushers, and give them all the responsibilites of groomsmen, just not standing up there. It can be just you and him at the front of the church.
2. If you don’t have girl freinds, but have guy friends instead, you can ask guy friends. Or have two girls and one guy on your side. Gender specific requirements are changing on this.
3. You can wait, a long time, and pick out people closer to the wedding if there is someone you grow close to. Your wedding is a year and 5 months away. Your life can change a lot in that time.
Post # 5
I’m close with cousins, but I’ve alwyas felt like BM/MOH etc had to be close you know? Or not? I’m a weird person, I either et really close to someone, or just so-so. I have a work friend I like, we get along really well. I just owrry about rejection, or it might be awkward to ask.
Hmm. I am equally close with my FI one choice, maybe he can stand on my side?
Since my wedding is so far away then, what are the times that you ask people to be in your bridal party? 🙁
Post # 6
Most people say 6 months out, I prefer 9 on a normal basis, and 12 if you are having a DW wedding. The 6 months as that is about as close to your wedding you can ask someone and go dress shoping/get dresses ordered in time. My preference for 9 months is based on me wanting to save money for the BM dress/shower/Bachelorett party. 12 months for DW so I can stalk flight prices for the best deal.
You will see a lot of BM drama on the boards, and you will notice a lot of it starting with “I asked girl to be my BM the moment we got engaged 3 years ago.” The less time you allow for drama to happen, the less drama that CAN happen.
If you want to snag your FI’s guy, I would make sure to talk to him about it.
If you are close to your cousins, you can pick your cousins. You don’t have to be someone you see and talk to every day. My MOH is my college roommate. I don’t see her often as we live in seperate states, but she is still awesome to hang out with, and this is a good excuse to talk with her and gush over details.
Post # 7
@Haruyou: Why not just have uneven sides? We had 1 BM and 2 GM’s and I think it looked fine. ANd there are a lot of recap pictures on this site with uneven bridal parties and their photos are all beautiful as well. In fact I don’t even notice if there are uneven sides.
Post # 8
I’m in a similiar spot, I have several friends who I used to be close to, but now rarely see, and new friends who I’ve only known a short time and proabably won’t be close to after college… but no one who really feels like the kind of friend who should be a bridesmaid. FI has 3 lifelong best friends who are the obvious choice to stand up with him. The only person I can think of who I’d want in my bridal party is my brother, so I think we’ll just have to be uneven. 1 and 3 doesn’t bother me as much as 0 and 3 would though. I’d wait a while, since you’ve got till 2015, and see if any new friendships blossom, that’s sort of what I’m doing now.
Post # 9
@Haruyou: then don’t have a MOH 🙂
I don’t think I’m having a bestMAN, but a bestWOMAN or groomsWOMAN. none of my really good friends are men, they’ve been women. So I’m probably gonna have a couple guys and girls on my side.
But don’t feel pressure to find a person to fill that MOH role. My gf will be in the same position. she has a friend who they were really close, but the friend just made really bad decisions after they all left for college. she doesn’t think they are as close as they were but she’s still gonna be a bridesmaid,
Post # 10
@Haruyou: My fiance has 6 guys on his side, I have 3. I didn’t care about uneven sides. I didn’t want to ask anyone just to be a “filler”. Quality, not quantity. Since your fiance is only looking to have 3 guys, if you had 1 person on your side, I think it would be totally fine. Don’t sweat it to much. It’s just a bridal party.
Post # 11
Thank you so much everyone! And thankyou @Misswhowedding: for the explanation! Who knows, maybe I’ll meet a good friend, or rekindle an old one.