- 3 years ago
Please bear with me, it’s long!
So my 1 year mark is coming up for my wedding, and I’m realizing that I need to get my bridal party situation in order and ask them pretty soon. However, this is something I have struggled with since I’ve been engaged.
Well, I know for sure of 4 ladies I’m having in the wedding. My MOH (my SIL who has been in my life for years), my MOH’s SIL whom I am also close with and is a close family friend as well, and my groom’s two sisters, whom I am not particularly close with but think I would regret not having if I chose not to. That could be it, except for a few close friends whom over the years I’ve had somewhat back and forth relationships with. I will call them K, A and M.
With K, we have been friends for years, but just recently became particularly close. She moved out of state after high school and we sort of fell out of touch for that time. When she moved back we started hanging out all the time after we took a college class together and ever since then have been practically inseparable, I even invite her to family parties and whatnot. Anyway, just this weekend we had a weird situation and long story short, she brought me to a wedding she was standing up in as her plus one and at the reception I didn’t have a placecard or a spot to sit in- her family was rude to me and looked at me like a wedding crasher – I was so embarassed I left – and she was mad at ME for that and wouldn’t talk to me for like 2 days. I mean I think it’s all going to blow over, but should I have someone in my bridal party whom I’m not completely sure about the fate of our friendship at this very moment?
And then there is A and M – these two were my closest friends in highschool and I’ve known them for years and years. The reason why we aren’t as close now is because they went away to college while I stayed at home, and we are at different stages in life (I’m settling down, they go to party schools), and also I’m kind of a home body and when they come home sometimes I decline their invites to go out and such- I feel like we aren’t as close because of me- because I don’t make the effort to maintain our friendships as much as i should. I recently hadn’t planned on having them stand up, but this whole incident with K has made me realize how I’m missing out on spending more time with them. Plus, the two of them are a lot of fun and could add that element to my party, which I felt like I was missing out on anyway.
ANYWAY, based on this information- I’m torn. K has been weirdly distant lately, while A and M have been excited for me and the wedding to begin with, and have never stopped being friends with me even after all the crap I pull. My groom is having 5 groomsmen. I could have just the 4, or 5 including K which I had been planning for a while, or 6 with the 4 + A and M, or just everybody. I know this is all very situational, and long, and I’m sorry, but I am just having such a hard time. Any advice would be so appreciated.