Choosing Bridesmaids

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My suggestion, for what it is worth, is to have his 2 cousins as ushers or doing a reading. That way you only need 3 on each side. Or have those 2 cousins as ushers and maybe ask the 2 friends to do a reading each, depending on how the next year pans out.

You haven’t explained the nature of the drama; or how much you expect to do with your bridesmaids. But I do know from reading these boards that you don’t want drama queens in the bridal party. I was very happy to only have 2 on each side: my two were my sister and my best friend. With only those 2, I didn’t feel bad about not having some very good college or church friends as bridesmaids.

Post # 3
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

If there is drama now, it’s almost guaranteed to be worse during active wedding planning. You really do not need to choose maids until 6-8 months before the wedding. If I were you, I would wait until January-February 2015 to make this decision. Soo how your relationship are at that point in time. And remember that a smaller bridal party is usually easier to coordinate and manage than a larger one.

Post # 4
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

I would strongly recommend waiting to choose your bridesmaids. A LOT can change in 17 months. I’m getting married in September of this year and didn’t ask mine until February. I’m glad I waited because two of my bridesmaids, who I’m extremely close with now, I probably wouldn’t have asked back in June when I first got engaged.

Post # 5
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

kellybee33:  Here are a few options to consider

1) There is not need to choose a bridal party more than 1 year out.  Give yourself to Sept to figure it out and don’t ask anyone until then (make sure FI does the same)

2) I would strongly consider just cutting it off at the 3 people per side. That is a PLENTY big wedding party anyway. 

3) Maybe reconsider uneven numbers.  I have NO IDEA why people care about even numbers, but in your case there is a compelling reason that even numbers works: if your FI has 5 guys and you only have 3, the two university friends are going to really raise and eyebrow and wonder why they are not BMs.

I would be really unlikely to invite them to be BMs at this stage as you are probably correct that you’ll drift apart after they graduate.  And no one needs a known drama queen as a BM.  Give it at least until the end of the summer and see how you feel then.

Post # 6
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

kellybee33:  if you know there will be drama, then don’t do it. It will just get worse and you will regret it, possibly damaging the friendship too.

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