Post # 1
Wedding planning is a constant dilemma for me! I count my blessings to have a place where people get what I’m going through and offer excellent advice. So…my FH wants to have 4 groomsmen (including best man.) I’m having a rough time trying to pick out my bridesmaids so that I have 4 of them. The first part of my question: do there have to be an even amount of groomsmen/bridesmaids? The second part: if you do have to have an even amount, I’ll lay everything out for you: I have 2 blood sisters, who will definitely be my bridesmaids. I think I will also make FH’s sister a bridesmaid. I have a 10 year old half sister on my mom’s side who I would like to be a junior bridesmaid. The wrench in my plan is that I have 2 half sisters on my dad’s side as well (ages 14 and 16) who I’m not as close with. However, I can see that my dad (even though he has not exactly been a constant in my life) and his wife will get mad if I make my mom’s daughter a junior bridesmaid and not their daughters. (Sorry for the long brainstorm). I could make it a round 4 bridesmaids if I add my sisters, FH’s sister and my best friend. The only problem is that my friend lives in Canada, so I doubt she will even be able to participate (if she is even able to come to the wedding at all!) Help! How do I navigate the intricacies of my divorced family and their demands? Whose wedding is this anyway? Eek.
Post # 3
I have a sort of simular story. First you can have however many Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen you want they don’t have to be even, this is a personal choice. I made my half sisters, share the same dad, Jr BM’s so I have a Maid/Matron of Honor, Same mom and dad, three close friends, and my Future Sister-In-Law, and 2 Jr BM’s. Fiance only has Bridesmaid or Best Man, and 4 close friends.
ETA: You could also incorporate them in other ways. They could pass out programs, guest book attendant, bridal assistants, etc.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2012 - The Old Field Club
you can have whatever number you want- some people like having even parties, but for me it was more important to include special people/not make anyone feel left out. I think you should do whatever makes you happy- it is hard when you have a difficult family situation, but I think there is no harm in including everyone. in the end they are just in a bunch of pictures, and you can take pictures specifically with certain bridesmaids split up so they aren’t all in all of your pictures if you’d like….
Post # 5
@RoyalLime: Thank you for your input. I think I will probably conisder having them do something wedding related but not necessarily be a bridesmaid. I wanted to have my half brother (same mother) read a poem because he is a performer like me, and I know he will kill it. The problem is: I’m just not super close with my other two half sisters, so I have no idea what their strengths are/what I should have them do.
Post # 6
@sbottiani: Maybe use this as an opportunity to get to know them better? Talk with them, ask if they would be interested in doing a reading, giving out programs, etc. whatever ideas you have. it will make them included, and maybe give you guys a chance to get to know each other 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2012 - Vandiver Inn
My personal opinion is that you can have as many BMs/GMs as you want or don’t want.. doesn’t have to be even! To reiterate what PP’s have said – you can always find a way to incorporate family/friends in other ways aside from being in the bridal party – ushers, a reading, etc.
Post # 8
I went to a wedding involving seven bms and three groomsmen. It didn’t look weird or uneven and their photos looked amazing 🙂 Don’t worry about things looking uneven.
I think if you make a fuss of your sisters on the day ie, have them get ready with you, get their hair (and makeup for the older ones) done together, they won’t feel left out in the ceremony. Perhaps you could invite them one one of your expiditions, like finding a dress or shoes?
At that age, I would have felt so important just being able to hang out with the bride beforehand!
Post # 9
UPDATE: After an empowering speech from my Maid/Matron of Honor (my blood sister) last night, I have decided on a bridal party: my 2 blood sisters, Future Sister-In-Law and my 11 year olf half sister on my mom’s side (junior bridesmaid.) The bottom line: as much as we want to please everyone, it’s ultimately FH and my day. It shouldn’t have to be about us trying to please everyone else at the expense of FH and my stress level (mainly because huge wedding party with mostly kids equals huge dent in wedding budget for us.) I may change my mind later, but for now, I’m feeling powerful.