veils and long sleeves
more by cjfs
No older images
Help!!! Is it okay to register for photos?!
more in Etiquette
Wintertime evening wedding... should we note "Black Tie" on the invites?
Why couldn't this one thing go smoothly??
more in Boards
cold as early pregnancy symptom?

choosing bridesmaids

posted 3 months ago in Etiquette
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    cjfs    April 20, 2013  

    hi all, I'm brand new to this site so i hope I'm doing it right!

    Regarding choosing your bridemaids, is it ok not to choose those friends which have choosen you as their BM in their wedding years ago? They are great friends but i feel pressured to choose them only because they choose me. I prefer choosing friends who are closer to me nowadays, and also I'd like to choose singal girls more in order to make them feel more part of it and special, but don't know what's the appropiate etiquette!

    thanks!

     
    2.
    Member
    5,944 posts
    Bee Keeper
    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    The choice of your attendants is yours and yours alone.  That said, some degree of reciprocity is often expected, so do be prepared to reassure some friends that had you in their wedding parties that it's not a reflection of your friendship ending.

     
    3.
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    trambam    September 1, 2012  

    It was hard for me when it came down to choosing bridesmaids as I was always a bridesmaid it seemed like.  I always joked that I was always a bridesmaid and never a bride!  I basically kept it down to family and childhood friends.  I was in a sorority in college, and there were some girls in the sorority that I was very close to, but I thought if I put one in, then I would have to put all in.  Good luck!

     
    4.
    Member Icon
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    aspasia475    January 1, 2015  

    @cjfs:  Traditionally, bridesmaids were always supposed to be "maids" -- to whit, unmarried. So traditionally the honour could never be returned tit-for-tat but always had to be passed forward. Even as late as the nineteen-eighties, a bride who chose married bridesmaids was often seen as flouting tradition.

    Nowadays you can choose married attendants if you want to, with impunity that you mightn't have enjoyed a mere thirty years ago. But there is nothing that requires you to flout tradition just because you have the choice.

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    cjfs    April 20, 2013  

    @aspasia475:  thats great advice, many thanks,

     

     

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.

    Tags:





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Brielle 44
    ndreighton 29
    vorpalette 29
    caseyleigh10 26
    les105 24
    ellisrobertson 24
    mypinkshoes 23
    fishbone 23
    lionskitty 22
    SouthernGirl 21

    Etiquette

    User Posts Today
    fishbone 4
    lilgrizzlygirl 3
    thursdayschild 3
    eagle 3
    tnanog 3
    SapphireSun 2
    andielovesj 2
    j_jaye 2
    Brielle 2
    likelimeade 2
    More