(Closed) choosing bridesmaids

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

The choice of your attendants is yours and yours alone.  That said, some degree of reciprocity is often expected, so do be prepared to reassure some friends that had you in their wedding parties that it’s not a reflection of your friendship ending.

Post # 4
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It was hard for me when it came down to choosing bridesmaids as I was always a bridesmaid it seemed like.  I always joked that I was always a bridesmaid and never a bride!  I basically kept it down to family and childhood friends.  I was in a sorority in college, and there were some girls in the sorority that I was very close to, but I thought if I put one in, then I would have to put all in.  Good luck!

Post # 5
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@cjfs:  Traditionally, bridesmaids were always supposed to be “maids” — to whit, unmarried. So traditionally the honour could never be returned tit-for-tat but always had to be passed forward. Even as late as the nineteen-eighties, a bride who chose married bridesmaids was often seen as flouting tradition.

Nowadays you can choose married attendants if you want to, with impunity that you mightn’t have enjoyed a mere thirty years ago. But there is nothing that requires you to flout tradition just because you have the choice.

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