Post # 1
We’re just about 9 months away from the big day. When I first got engaged I immediately asked my sister to be my Matron of Honor. . . that was a give-in for me. Shortly after I asked my best friend if she would be a bridesmaid, as well. I don’t have too many “friends”, and I’m having a hard time deciding who I want to be in my bridal party. My fiance has his 3 brothers and his best friend – it was easy for him. I have the option of choosing my future sister in law, but I don’t want ALL of his siblings in the bridal party and only one of my siblings (I have 2 brothers, as well).
My fiance is traditional in that he wants to choose who is on his side and I’ll choose who is on my side, but my mom and sister think my brothers should be in the bridal party, as well.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to push the issue on my fiance, but I don’t want my brothers to feel left out. And! Do I include my future sister in law, or not?
Post # 3
Yikes. That is no fun. I would have been really ticked at DH if he hadn’t wanted to include my brothers. But they all get along great and he’s like a big brother to them. I guess every relationship is different?
It all comes down to whether or not you want to make a big deal about it. What are your thoughts on having your brothers on YOUR side? I considered that as well, in the event that DH didn’t want my brothers on his side. I know it’s non-traditional, but just an idea. 🙂
Also, the sides don’t have to be even. Don’t feel like you have to search for people to “fill” your side. I ended up with 3 on my side and he had 4. It was okay. 🙂
Post # 4
@AmeliaBedelia: I HAVE considered having them on my side, actually. My fiance’s brother just got married and they both had guys and girls on their sides, which I liked. I would like them in the wedding, regardless, but there’s also a few more girls I’d like to have as well. I’m incredibly indecisive, and I also don’t want to upset anyone at the same time.
Post # 5
@madteaparty: How many are we talking here? Also…is there any reason he doesn’t want them on his side? Just wondering.
Post # 6
@AmeliaBedelia: I think it’s cause he’s stubborn and I’m finding he is SUPER traditional in everything we do. For example, we’re having our ceremony at 11:30 am, cocktail hour 12-1 and reception 1-5. Our photographer recommended doing “first look” photos, but he is adament that he does not want to see me until I walk down the aisle which leaves us with NO cocktail hour. It’s both endearing and frustrating, lol. Anytime we talk about it he just keeps saying “I’ll choose who is on my side and you choose who is on yours”. He’s also mentioned that I’m not obligated to have his sister on my side, which I know. Since he has 4 guys. . . I have 2 right now. There’s 3 others I was considering OR my two brothers to make it fair. I just don’t know if I HAVE to have my brothers in the wedding or not. Again, I hate making people upset!
Post # 7
@madteaparty: if you are close with your brothers then i would add them to your side. if not, perhaps your brothers can be ushers at your wedding. they will still have a part but not stand up with you. you still have a few months to make your decision.
Post # 8
Why not make your brothers ushers?
Post # 9
Is there really a difference between ushers and groomsmen? I’ve never actually been to a wedding where someone shows me which side to sit on.
Post # 10
Why not have your brothers do readings at the ceremony, and do toasts at the reception?
Keep it with those 2 girls, have the girls walk down themselves, the guys already at the alter when the ceremony starts
Post # 11
Why don’t you talk to your brothers and see how they feel? You can explain your delimma and ask their advice.