Post # 1
I originally only wanted two bridesmaids and maybe a junior bridesmaid. Now I’m thinking that my junior bridesmaid is probably a bad idea. She’ll only be nine when we get married and I think she may just be too young. There’s the issue of having to involve her parents in everything, getting her a dress, and having her feel involved…it’s just too much.
My fiance is determined to have three groomsmen. His brother and his two best friends. I can’t ask him to cut down the list, so I really need to choose a third bridesmaid.
I don’t want to sound like some sort of anti-social person, but I don’t have a lot of close friends. I have plenty of friends, don’t get me wrong, but I want my bridesmaids to be girls that I know I will always keep in touch with and will always love. Ergo, my sister and my best friend that I’ve known since birth.
But since I need to choose another, I’m having issues. I have someone in mind, but my fiance doesn’t really like her. She’s very fickle, and we’ve had issues in the past. When it comes down to it, though, we’ve always been pretty good friends. She’s always asking about wedding details and I think she’s expecting me to ask her to be a bridesmaid.
And since she has been so helpful, I’m really considering it. We’ve known each other since middle school and we’ve always been friends. But i’m having trouble committing to the idea of having her stand by me at the alter since we’ve had issues in the past and, of course, the fact that my fiance doesn’t like her. Actually, my parents aren’t overly fond of her either because of the issues we’ve had in the past. Long story. Ask if you want to hear it.
If I don’t choose her, it would kill her for me to choose anyone else since we’ve been friends for so long. I don’t know what to do…advice?
Post # 3
You don’t need even sides! Do not ask someone you seem really ambivalent about and who your fiance doesn’t even like for the sake of even sides! I am also only having 2 girls, my sister and best friend and I couldn’t imagine anyone else standing up there with me. It’s about those who have been supportive of you and there for your through out your life, not a number.
Post # 4
If you are having any doubts, don’t ask her. Planning a wedding is stressful and brings out the worst in people. It’s totally fine to have uneven sides (My Fiance has 4 groomsmen, and I have 3 bridesmaids). I had originally asked another girl, but she dropped out. Smaller is 100% better when it comes to bridal parties!
Post # 5
@KayBeeJay: I was in the reverse situation. I wanted 3, fiance wanted 2. So we had 2 each and my 3rd choice did a reading. But in my case it was easy because she (close friend since I was 18) clearly ranked behind my sister and my best-friend-since-I-was-12. Can your fiance “rank” his best friends and ask one of them to do a reading instead?
I’ve read a lot of horror stories about fickle friends as bridesmaids.
Post # 6
The main thing that’s holding me back is the fact that we’re doing so much better as friends now.
Our issue was that we lived together for a year in college. She was a TERRIBLE roommate. I moved out and now she’s chilled down. (I guess it’s not that long of a story in summary form, lol). Anyway, she’s so much easier to get along with now, and I really enjoy being around her again.
But since everyone else is remembering the roommate from hell, I’m worried it’ll cause a lot of tension. Idk. I’m a little OCD, and having uneven numbers bothers me. Haha.
Post # 7
@paula1248: I asked him if he could narrow down the list, but he really isn’t comfortable with it. His brother obviously can’t be cut out. The other two are tricky. One has been friends with him forever. He’s practically family, and even though they aren’t as close as they used to be, he’s always been supportive of our relationship. The third is my fiance’s best friend. I mean, that guy would take a bullet for him. We can’t cut him either. So…unfortunately, I agree with my fiance that we can’t really cut back.