(Closed) Choosing Bridesmaids – Under Pressure

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think that you need to decide what is right for you, regardless of what expectations others have. No matter what you decide, there is bound to be someone who is not happy about it, and you can’t prevent that.

I actually picked a bridesmaid mainly because I knew she expected it and would be upset not to be included. I am glad she will be standing in my wedding, but she has turned out to be my MIA bridesmaid at events and the one who wouldn’t order her dress on time for no good reason despite multiple reminders. She was the only one I had doubts about choosing, and I guess my intution was trying to tell me something.

I think you are the one who is going to have to deal with the stress of getting married and managing the bridal party, so try to make it easy on yourself as possible with your choices. People can deal with disappointment. If they can’t deal with it, they would have caused drama for you later on anyway. And if there is someone you care about who would not be a good fit for your bridal party, you can always find a special job for them to make them feel included.  For example, my good friend that is not a bridesmaid will be getting a solo song during the ceremony.

 

Post # 4
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

I completely agree with PP.  I, too, made someone a bridesmaid out of guilt of her ASKING me to be one.  It was a mistake, and she became a bit of a problem.  Don’t let anyone pressure you, and you make the decision whenever you’re ready!

Post # 5
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are handling it just fine. People just have to grow up. You can’t control their expections. They know exactly what they are doing. Don’t feel sorry for them. Its YOUR and your FH day. Just read the threads on here about people who gave into the pressure. None of them ever turn out good. Stick to your guns.

Post # 6
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am also a June 2012 bride and having similar issues.  We haven’t made a final decision on our wedding party yet, but the one i’m struggling with the most is my sister-in-law(brothers wife).  We aren’t really close, but I know she expects to be in my bridal party as I was in theirs.  I would just have her to avoid any issues, but my FI may only have 2 groomsmen and I have 3 friends I really want as bridesmaids so this would make the wedding party 4 & 2 which I think is too unequal.

Post # 7
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know its hard with all the pressure you’re feeling, but please don’t rush the decision. Honestly, I’d recommend leaving it until after Christmas because so much can change

good luck!

Post # 8
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Lol, I got one of those “like a sister” comments too by someone who i think was hinting… though I did not select her as a bridesmaid. 

 

My advice, is take your time.  Once you extend an invite, it’s kinda hard to take it back.  No rush.  and remember, you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.  They may have loved to be a bridesmaid, but they are still your friends and support you. 

Post # 9
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Take as much time as you can! Friendships can change really quickly, for some reason, especially when it comes to weddings.  Think about who’s been there for you especially in stressful situations, those are the ones you want around you.  Also factor in those who might be really busy with their own lives, they won’t be able to be very involved, so prepare yourself for that if you pick them.  DON’T let anyone pressure you.  Believe me, you’ll regret it later.  People will be fine if you don’t pick them in the end, if they aren’t, they weren’t a very good friend in the first place.  I had one girl that I was on the fence about, and in the end I couldn’t pick her even though I know she really wanted to be one. We’re still fine, and she’s still really excited for the wedding.  

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