Post # 1
So i have a dilemma.. I have 3 girls in mind to be in my bridal party but I can’t seem to decide on who i want to choose as my maid of honor. Or does it even matter?
Here are the dynamics I have with each girl:
Girl #1 – She’s the one I actually originally want as maid of honor. I’ve known her the longest and we went through a lot together. She successfully planned her own wedding and already helped me with wedding ideas etc.. The only thing is that she lives the farthest (45min away) and she’s pretty busy with work. She might have also given me hints that she might not want to be my moh (not sure).
Girl #2 – She’s the closest to me right now/we hang out a lot. But she isn’t the helping type… She’s also not that into the whole wedding thing except for the bachelorette parties (she’s a party girl).
Girl #3 – She is the least closest out of all 3 girls but she’s close enough to make it to my bridal party list. She’s really into wedding planning and has lots of great ideas. She the type of person who is willing to help when asked to. But I’ve never seen her plan any type of event before…
So what do you think?
Thanks in advance 🙂
Post # 3
I’d pick the 1st girl, and just not expect her to drive over to you to do a lot of stuff
Or, you could just have them all be bridesmaids and not have a Maid/Matron of Honor
Post # 4
@Sjam415: Pick 1. My Maid/Matron of Honor is out of state (from my hometown) till juneish (shes moving to the same state as me for year coincidentally) and then she will be somewhere between 10 minutes and 3 hours away from me. Your Maid/Matron of Honor should be able to come dress shopping with you (with lots of advanced notice) and plan a shower and bachelorette party (not required but usually happens. Location won’t matter for that. Theres no reason to expect her to go to the cake tasting or visit potential venues with you (FI will go). And you can do a LOT of wedding gossiping/fantasizing over the internet. I show my Maid/Matron of Honor pictures of things I like all the time. She doesn’t make a ton of time for it (she doesn’t need to). I’m sure whoever you pick will make time for the actual wedding and helping out the week before ect. But I would want the person I’m closest to to have the additional acknowledgement of being Maid/Matron of Honor regardless of their location.
Post # 5
1st girl – 45 minutes isn’t that far and if she doesn’t want to be Maid/Matron of Honor she can tell you
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
#1. Sounds like friend #2 would jump on helping with the bachelorette, so you could run it by MOH- “Hey, she’s really interested in this- would you want her to plan it? If #1 is busy, just don’t overload her with daily emails, etc.
Post # 7
Pick #1! My Maid/Matron of Honor was out of country and it still worked out! 🙂 My other BMs just chipped in to help 🙂
Post # 8
I don’t think you should choose a Maid/Matron of Honor (or anyone in the bridal party) based on her proximity to you. My Maid/Matron of Honor lives on the other side of the country from me and has been 100% committed to everything wedding related. If Girl #1 is the one you want, then you should pick her.
Post # 9
#1 if she wants to be Maid/Matron of Honor. You don’t HAVE to have a Maid/Matron of Honor btw if you dont feel like choosing between them 😉
Post # 11
wow! everyone seem to have the same answer 🙂
I always had the impression that you need a moh that is able to help a lot… Google also gave me that impression lol…
I am still open to see how other people dealt with a moh who lives far and is pretty busy with work.
Post # 12
I vote #1. When I was a Maid/Matron of Honor my friend lived about an hour away and I was busy as well. The way it worked for us is we had set wedding days. We knew that Tuesdays were “wedding days” and anything she wanted us to do together physically had to be done on that day. We also had plenty of phone time and emails back and forth. Distance never really became an issue…
Now the last wedding I was in I was asked to be the Maid/Matron of Honor, however I did politely decline due to other obligations at the time and she totally understood. So if she can’t do it it’s not that she loves you any less, she probably just doesn’t want to disappoint you by not living up to her duties. I will say in this wedding the Maid/Matron of Honor that she did choose, her cousin, was way too busy reconnecting with family the day of so I really ended up filling that role on the wedding day which she really appreciated.
Post # 13
i would chose nº1 and you can always ask the other 2 for help on some of the things
Post # 14
Sounds like you’ve already made your choice buuuut….
You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, they could always all share.
Post # 15
My Maid/Matron of Honor lives about an hour away from me…and is currently training for the Olympics. But there is no one else that I would want to be in that place for me. She has been helpful in as much as she can, and I know as soon as the Olympic trials and Olympics (hoping she makes it!) are over, she will be there 100%.
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Why do you have to pick a MOH?