Post # 1
I only have one bridemaid – My cousin, who’s more like a sister to me. She’s very excited about my wedding and has been incredibly helpful thus far.
We haven’t gone dress shopping yet, but she has sent me some pictures of shoes that she’s considering and I feel like a bridezilla for turning them all down. The first pair was completely flat and I was really hoping she’d wear heels. I’m not expecting 4” heels, but even a kitten heel would be nice with a knee-length dress. Then she sent me a picture of some canvas shoes which I think are too casual. Then she sent a picture of a pair of white shoes for my November wedding.
At what point do I just let her buy whatever shoes she wants and stop from being a bridezilla? We live six hours apart, so shopping together is kinda hard.
Post # 3
I think it depends on your cousin. If she’s getting frustrated, I say give in, it’s not worth stressing the relationship. If she’s game for trying more options, maybe give her some direction. As a side note about heels: I have lots of pretty heels that I almost never wear because I’ve got bad joints and they get irritated quickly with heels. My solution to weddings has been to wear heels for the ceremony and the first part of the reception, then change to flats. If you’re okay with that, you might suggest that she doesn’t have to wear the heels the whole night – might make her more amenable to your suggestions.
Post # 4
I don’t think it would be bridezilla of you at all to suggest that she wait until you have chosen the dress! The shoes are supposed to be the accessory- chosen to go with the dress, not the dress chosen to match the shoes.
Maybe it will be easier for the two of you to agree on shoes after you have the dress in hand.
ps this is based on my understanding that you have not chosen HER dress.
Post # 5
I would tell her to wait until after you buy the dress. Then, consider sending her an assortment of choices that you think suit the dress & see if she thinks any of those are appropriate.
Post # 6
@JenGirl: Yes, that would be totally fine – Heels for the ceremony and then flats for the reception. Even I’m considering doing the same thing.
@julies1949: You’re right – I have chosen my dress, but we haven’t been shopping for her dress yet. I think I could put her off until after we’ve chosen her dress.
Post # 7
Maybe just give her some basic criteria once you choose the dress. Tell her she can pick out any pair of shoes in (insert color here) with at least a 2″ heel. Send her an email with some shoes that fit the criteria in different budget options so she has an idea what you are looking for.