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@SportsGal: I would definitely chose the ring ! I would never risk the chance of not liking what he chose.
I would prefer something in the middle which is what we did. He knew the shape I wanted, my size and the color of gold I prefer. This way I was still surprised but I had a ring that he knew I would love!
My husband picked out my ring. I would occasionally point out rings styles that I liked, but he ultimately shopped for it, bought it, and surprised me with it...which I liked. And I think he did a fantastic job!
We were kind of in the middle, and it worked for us. We went to a jewelery store once, and I showed him a few things I wasn't really into as well as pointing out a few styles I thought might work online. Then he took it from there.
My SO has made it very clear that he wants to pick out my ring. By himself. But, we talk about it, and he knows my style. I really want a halo ring, and we were at a restaurant and the hostess had one that I loved, and now we call that place, "the restauarant with the good ring" LOL
He also took out the jewerly section of some store in the Sunday Times and said, "ok, I'm gonna tell you what I think you'd like on this page, and you tell me if I'm right". He was right. 100%
So, I feel good about it. I think we are a LONG way off from getting engaged, but when the time comes, I know he'll pick out something amazing, and I like to be surprised.
I would like to at least go ring shopping and show him what I really like. For example, I like white gold with a round stone and can try some different styles on so he can see which ones I like the best and then go back and choose it without me. This way, I get to have some input but it's still a surprise since he is making the final decision.
I would let him pick the ring.. I think my fiance knows me well enough to know what I would like... He knew I like lots of bling and he definitely delivered! Plus it's more meaningful, considering that he spend all that time trying to find the perfect ring for you.
@chesseplease: I would help him know what kind of ring Im looking for (I dont want a diamond so I feel it was important to let him know, for when he starts looking!)
In that sense, if you have a particular thing in mind as far as preference goes, then I think you should let him know; in the end he still makes the decision on the final ring that way!
I chose my ring and honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm the one who is going to be wearing it for the rest of my life, so we both felt that it was crutial that I was involved in the selection.
I gave him a few ideas of what i like... but he's paying for it, and I'm sure i'll love it. I love pretty much everything else he's ever picked out!
As a bride who did help pick her ring, I have to say that I wish I would have just let him do it. (The grass is always greener on the other side, right?) He had me go shopping with me him because he wanted me to pick something to my taste, but honestly, I so badly wanted him to pick something as a gift from his heart that I ended up picking a ring I don't love solely because it was the only one that got a positive reaction from him. Bride fail. Picking your own has its pros if you actually are set on a specific style and stick to it, but I do think it loses a little bit of sentimentality. I think I probably should have just given him pictures of various styles I like and sent him forth on his own, but live and learn. If you are at all torn, that might be a good compromise so that you get to influence the style but he gets to surprise you. I am sure that in the end you'll be thrilled no matter what; I know I am just glad to be engagd to him.
My FI researched and designed my ring. By doing research he knew exactly what paperwork and qualities he wanted in my ring. It was a complete surprise opening the box, and I love my ring. I stare at it all the time.
EDIT: I wanted him to pick out the ring. He has better taste than I do and I knew he would be so happy picking out the ring. We looked at rings together so I could get sized and to get information on diamonds.
Both...I would like to pick so I know what I want/would like. But then would want him to take it from there and choose. That didn't happen in my case but at least I know I will love the ring when I get it which is important since I have to wear it everyday!
This gets asked so often lol!
I chose my ring with my boyfriend. We both had a lot of fun shopping for it and it took a lot of stress out of getting engaged for both of us. Neither of us had to worry if it would be the right ring, and I was able to feel more involved. I am so happy we did it that way!
I am so picky so I wanted to be involved somehow, either actually picking it or giving SO an idea. I was actually there when he purchased it (we were on vacation and decided to look just in case we found something unusual), and on one hand it sucks that he didn't really have to put any effort in to get it, but on the other, it has made me feel a lot more secure knowing that he has it, because I know the wait wouldn't be that long (its been 4 1/2 months and i *think* I am getting it tomorrow !!)
I helped pick my ring, but not all the details. I chose the stone shape and a halo setting. He picked the 4cs and the thickness of the band and the halo. It worked out great for me because I absolutely love my ring. I'm sure if I hadn't had some input he would have picked one of the first things he saw or something more conventional because he hates shopping. If you want that surprise element then give him 3 or so options you love and let him make the final decision.
I would love to help pick out the ring at least the setting and a couple of diamonds. However as of now he doesn't want me to have any part of it. He said I could look around and pick out some settings. I hope he changes his mind later on down the road. I don't wear much jewelry so I'm really particular about he jewelry I do wear.
He wanted me to have a say in it. We looked online and saw one we loved. Went and looked in person and decided we liked it. But, last week when he proposed he had actually gotten one similar to the one we had picked out. Which was nice because it was still a surprise since it wasn't the actual ring I thought I was getting. He also picked out the double band setting on his own and it's perfect! So, a mix worked great for us!
There was one time when I said to him, "If you want to propose without a ring, and then have us pick it out together afterwards, that is okay." I was only saying it to give him an out, though, since I knew it would be very difficult for him to pick the ring by himself, and I'm incredibly picky about jewelry, so I was scared of him getting me something I wouldn't love enough to wear for the rest of my life. What I really wanted was for him to surprise me with the perfect ring. Turns out that is exactly what he did!
I am still awed and delighted with how he picked the ring with no input from me and it happens to be the most beautiful engagement ring I've ever seen - AND with an heirloom stone from his mother, which is really the best, most meaningful thing I could have asked for (but didn't!). I am a huge sucker for items with sentimental meaning from past generations within our family.
If I'd picked it out myself, I think I would have agonized forever in an attempt to find some perfect ring and would never have ended up happy. Realistically, though, other than that one comment I made to him, neither of us ever seriously considered doing it any other way than how we did. We shared an unspoken understanding that the ring and proposal together needed to be a total surprise. It really never occurred to me for us to pick it out first and then wait for a proposal, like so many brides on the boards have done.
We went shopping together. I *thought* I knew what style I liked. I was wrong - it looked weird on.
We tried on several, and I sort of told him my "top three" <-- in no particular order. He went back a few weeks later, got my absolute favorite one, and proposed several months later. So, it was still a surprise - timing, the one he chose, the date, etc - but I had a say in it. I asked him how he knew which one to pick and he said he could tell by how my eyes lit up. He did good. :)
he let me pick it so that he knows what i like but let's see if he gets it
I am TOTALLY on board with assisting in the choice of the ring in some way. Whether you are hands on or just simple like printing out styles you like. Either way it provides comfort. You do have to wear this for the rest of your life (figuratively speaking...I know some people upgrade about 5-10 years down the line). But for me I'm VERY picky and I know if I don't like something it would haunt me for days. I've said this in another post with a similar topic to this one that my SO is not the best with jewelry so to speak. He doesn't understand clarity, quality, stones, etc. So it was good to have me there to help and make him feel comfortable. I would hate for him to get pushed over by a salesman or pay too much etc. We've went ring shopping twice. And I have a style that I love. But the one that we picked last I would have NEVER given it a second look online or maybe not even in the store because its' not my style visually. But it caught my eye because it sparkles so much and looked beautiful on me. Plus it was in the budget (ha). The style that I really love isn't quite in the budget of what he wants to spend right now.
I chose my ring, and took him to the store to see it on me before he bought it. I think it's so important because you will be wearing it for the rest of your life. And yes, it would be special no matter what because it is your engagement ring, but you still have to look at it all day every day. Also, my bf is not a great shopper. I didn't want him to get ripped off plus he doesn't know much about jewelry.
My husband knows nothing about jewelry and he hates shopping. I saved us both a lot of aggravation by picking out the ring myself, haha!
I would let him know what I like, then let him totally choose it. I think he knows me well enough to make the right decision.
I inherited the family stone, which was reset in platinum since I'm not a yellow-gold person (which DH knew). I had zero say in the setting, which was ok with me. Since I was 19 and pregnant, I considered myself lucky to get anything at all and lucky that his family loved me enough to give me the family stone.
We were in the middle, too. I've sent him lots of pictures of things I like, and he knows that I HATE bezel settings. However, the final decision will be all his: setting, cut, metal, and even the type of stone (we're leaning toward a bluish gemstone of some description, though a white gem or diamond are also possible). I'm not worried about what he'll eventually pick because he knows what I like and has excellent taste.
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So I am quite curious about this.. Would you ladies prefer to help your boyfriend in choosing your engagement ring? Help shop around, pick out what you like, and get sized? Or would you prefer for him to do it by himself, he chooses the style and all the details so it's a surprise? Wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts :)