Choosing to only have one child?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

There’s 14 years between a friend of mine and his older half sister! And they’re super close!

Post # 4
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Ninteenthchance:  I am grew up an only child and then my mom had my sister when I was 17 (no siblings in between.)  I liked being an only and so does my sister since I moved out for college 18 she’s been raised as an only child as well.  We never fight and we have taken a sisters vacation every year together since she was 5.  There is nothing wrong with spacing out your kids so they can both have their own spotlight growing up.  I remember one girl in high school who was four years younger than her brother so he got all the attention for everything since he did everything first, her parents even skipped her high school graduation to attend his college graduation.

A friend of mine spaced all three of her kids out by 5 years (eldest is 15, middle child is 10, and baby is 5.)  She absolutely loved being able to enjoy having each be a baby without the additional distraction or stress of raising two or three needy preschoolers at the same time.

Post # 6
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ninteenthchance:  I’m actually 14 years younger than my oldest brother, and I’m WAY closer with him than I am with my brother who is 4 years older. I think the “protective” thing really kicks in and we get along great! 

Post # 7
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Ninteenthchance:  I feel like my little sister’s cool older aunt who gets to do all of the fun stuff with her.  We even shopped together for her first bikini this summer!

I think it really matters if the older sibling is treated like an older sibling or a babysitter for mom.  I never had to change diapers or feed my sister unless I wanted to.  She was a joy to play with rather than a responsibility to take care of.  My mom is her mom, I am her super cool fun big sissy!

Post # 8
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

my two best friends are both only children. both of them had parents who only wanted one child. my FI is also an only child, but his parents had fertility problems, so that was a different reason.

you do have options. you could just stick to one child. or, you can always adopt an older child, if you feel like the age difference would be too much. i, for one, like large gaps. my brother and i are almost exactly 5 years apart. it prevented a lot of bickering when we were young. but that’s just me (:

that being said- i think if you only want one, only have one. don’t feel pressured to have another one. do what you feel is right. don’t ever do something you’ll regret.

Post # 9
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

If we have another (which is a good possibility), they will be at least 16 years apart. It is what it is. Honestly, you just have to do whatever is best for you. There is no right or wrong answer.

Post # 10
876 posts
Busy bee

@Ninteenthchance:  when I have kids I plan on stopping at one. I just feel I would be the best parent to only one. Also Im not exactly rolling in the dough so I need be realistic on what I can afford. I also feel its unfair to me to have another child just “so my kid can have a playmate” what am I? A incubator for playmates?? Lol ok maybe I’m ranting here a little.. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, you have time to make your choice, if it helps I know plenty of siblings who have many years between them, and they seem to adore each other! Either way it will work out. Just don’t feel pressured. It’s a big decison.

Post # 13
2823 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am an only child & my DH and I plan to only have one as well.

Post # 14
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@beachbride1216:  that’s really horrible about your friend. The parents should not have skipped her HS graduation. 

Post # 15
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I AM an only child… and honestly I love it! My DH has an amazing sister who is 7 years younger than I am and I get to have her as my sister now and its fun but I don’t think its bad to be an only child. I got all the attention, my parents had more money because they only had one kid so they were able to do things with me that they wouldn’t have been able to if I had siblings. 

Do what works for you! My DH and I only plan on having one or two MAX. Honestly, I would love to just have one child so that I can focus on them the way my parents were able to focus on me. I loved my childhood and everything about it.

Post # 16
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have one daughter and won’t be having any more:( I regret it. 

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