Post # 1
How many of you were able to actually choose your wedding date vs the church telling you when you can get married? For example, my FI are looking at Nov 7, 2015, but we haven’t talked to the church yet. I know a good friend of mine who got married in a different church was basically given 3 days over 3 months (e.g. July 11, Aug 1, and Sep 19) and was told to pick one of those.
Please share your experiences
Post # 2
We were able to pick our date, but also we were constrained by the church’s availability. It sounds like your friend’s church may have only had those dates available.
Post # 3
Well it depends on the church’s availabilty. SIL had a choice of a couple dates because of other weddings and saturday night church. We picked our own date at our church, later changed it, and there was no problem. Probably depends on how many weddings they do and if saturday night church is an issue.
Post # 4
It depends on how many weddings the church tends to have, the times of day they allow them, and how far in advance you are scheduling. We said we wanted to get married summer 2014 and the priest took out the calendar and went through each Saturday they had an opening and the times available. Even though this was only 6 months from the date we wound up choosing we had a lot of options because we wanted the earliest time available (noon) whereas most couples want to get married later in the day.
Post # 5
Julia1986: Our church does weddings on Saturdays at 11 am, 2 pm, & 7 pm.
We called and asked about dates until the right day and time match was available.
Post # 6
The church didn’t end up working for us since we moved to a new location but we did try and there were limitations. The best answer would be to talk to the church as each church will be different. We hadn’t moved yet but called the first church in April and were told that after we moved in June we would have to become members of that church for 8 months and then we could do counseling and meet with the priest and THEN at that time they would discuss dates with us. My fiance is in his first year of residency and already had his 2 weeks off approved for May 2015. So chancing waiting until February to find out if that church was available wasn’t realistic. Another church would only marry the alumni that went to school there. Another only did weddings on Saturdays and of course the place we found for reception wasn’t available any Saturday from May-August 2015 because everything was booked. A lot of times the churches do give some info on their website to give you an idea of what to expect but if you have a specific place in mind its better just to ask them. Best of luck with this all
Post # 7
We’re using a church in the same circle of fellowship as ours that’s in a different town so when we talked to our pastor he asked for a few dates, called the other pastor, called us back and asked which one we wanted. There were no hard rules on what time it had to be or anything. The other pastor is also blessing us by letting us use it for free and after we offered to pay or make a donation said he wouldn’t take one. We’re very fortunate.
I’m assuming by the difficulty you’re having that you belong to a very large church? Would you guys consider doing it in a different church building if it meant getting your desired date?
Post # 8
Thanks for the input, everyone. We’re meeting with the pastor on Saturday and we’ll see what happens. I just wanted to know what to expect and it seems like everyone has significantly different experiences.
My church is relatively small, but I live in a heavily populated area (which also means we’ve got 7 Catholic churches within 2 miles of each other). The friend I mentioned go married at a different church, but she’s the only person I know who has gotten married recently who can provide input on a church wedding.
I would also do what I can to work with this church a little bit as far as dates go. This is the church I grew up in, but I’m not COMPLETELY tied to it.
Post # 9
We were married during March and didn’t have any issues with the Church choosing a date other than the fact that people from all over drive to our home Church to get married. We did have to take into account that Lent was during this time and had to work around Mass observed during the Lenten Season. Also, your church should give you set times that they allow weddings.
Post # 10
We were able to choose our date because we were about a year out and our church only needed six months to start the process.