Post # 1
Sex is often a topic of debate among Christians. Many strongly believe sex before marriage is wrong. Some believe sex between an engaged couple is fine. Others believe sex between a couple in love is fine. Many start out with a particular belief but later change their mind.
Is there really a Christian approach to this? Is it always best to wait until marriage? Is it honestly better to stop right before going all the way? I am talking in the context of an adult couple who loves each other. The couple may or may not be engaged. I would love to hear both sides of the issue.
Post # 3
I think sex is very much about trust. You need to be able to trust the person you are sleeping with, trust that you will have safe sex, trust that you know what you’d do if you did get pregnant, trust the person not to blab to all their friends about it.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong time to have sex, some people feel comfortable after a few days, or a month, or a few years.
I’m not a christian, and for us, we dated for 3 months before losing our virginity to each other. It was a beautiful romantic moment and it felt right for us.
Post # 4
I am a Christian woman, and I think sex should be saved for marriage. I also did not wait for marriage. I had sex before I was with my husband, and I had sex with him before we were married. I have to say that the sex I have had with my husband is so much more awesome than ANY sex I had before i was married. For me, it was awesome to have sex with a man who promised to share his life with me. It was more emotional. I honestly wish I had waited to have sex until I was married.
Post # 5
I think you could ask 500,000 Christians and get 500,000 different answers. Some of them might only be slightly different, some of them might be very different, but what it boils down to is being true to yourself and true to your belief system and your faith. I personlly don’t believe in a God who would get angry about having premarital sex with someone you have real feelings for, have an intention to commit to, and communicate with so that you both feel safe and respected.
Post # 6
This is such a loaded topic and such a personal decision. I think it really depends on the couple. I know Christian couples who had sex while dating, some who had sex after they were engaged, and some who waited until marriage. It’s really just a personal decision.
I was brought up Christian and I had premarital sex and I do not regret that decision.
Post # 7
I am a Christian. My PERSONAL belief is you should be AT LEAST 18 years old before having sex with someone. When is the right time? I used to believe I would wait until marriage. But as I became a teenager, I made the decision that I would more than likely not wait until marriage. My personal guidline was, “If I lose my virginity to this person, and then we broke up at some point, would I regret having given him my virginity?” Incidentally, my husband and I were each other’s first, and had dated for around six months.
Post # 8
I believe that God intended sex for marriage. Your not only sharing your body, but your soul. And when he intended it for marriage, it was to protect us.
Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).
This pretty much sums it up.. I have had pre-marital sex, and I have a son from a previous relationship because of it. Your never guaranteed forever with someone, and unfortunately even if it’s with someone you are married to. Things happen, therefore being in a commited marriage with someone, makes it a more “perfect” way to have a child with someone. Instead of someone that you are dating. But we are all human, and we all make mistakes…the easiest way to make a decision of abstinence is to do it all for the love of God. But even that can be hard. Talk to a pre-marital councelor, and see if he can give you advice.
Post # 9
Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.
Post # 10
I have to agree with everything Roux said.
I lost my virginity way to young, when I didn’t want to. I felt violated but then I thought this was how you got guys to be interested in you which lead to a bunch of other issues for me. I got pregnant at 17, but I believe God gave me my son to save my life. Do I wish sometimes that the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with was the only man I’ve given my body and soul to? Sure I do. But I can honestly say I have loved others, and I don’t regret sharing that with them. It was moving and loving. Some… not so much. Lol.
Its a personal choice, but I do agree that you should at least be out of high school and have a little more life experience under your belt before making that decision.
Post # 11
I agree that sex should only be between two consenting adults. I feel the decision to have sex should never be taken lightly. The issue is with two people who love each other and are deeply committed.
Post # 12
i must admit i get a bit confused when i read posts from people saying they are a christian and they are waiting for marriage before they have sex but they also are currently having oral or anal sex with their partner – for me sex is sex and i dont see the difference between any of the three practises, they are each “sex”
Post # 13
@luvalways86: I’m not so sure is that what 1 Corinthinians 7:2 means. I believe that it’s saying that in order to RESIST the temptation of immorality, you should be married. I don’t believe it includes pre-marital sex as immorality itself.
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
Mind you, I am myself, waiting for marriage to have sex. 🙂
Post # 14
Since the “Christian” approach is SUPPOSED to be the biblical approach, it’s safe to say that sex (any kind) outside of marriage is NOT what God intended….. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.” And along with biblical word study & our good ol friend Websters dictionary we know that fornication is sex between 2 unmarried people. Now many Christians don’t follow this, but it’s not because of the lack of direction given by God through his Word rather many just like to pick & choose what is convenient to follow. (this being one of the rather difficult ones) And since this tends to be so difficult for us Paul advises to get married…. The only real solution aside from celibacy. Sorry to step on any toes… It’s just what scripture says
Post # 15
Based on a thread she started two months ago, the OP has already slept with her boyfriend. I think she’s struggling with what to do now that she’s already crossed that bridge.
Post # 16
In this ^ case.. You recommit that part of you & your relationship BACK to God & wait till the I Do’s… That simple & yes that hard… BUT it IS possible. You let God wash you with his forgiveness & grace & you’ll be new just like you had never slipped… He is so faithful & with my own personal background I can attest that He can & will totally restore that purity back to you if you let him. In him all things are made new 😉