(Closed) Christian bee here. Need some advice!

posted 2 years ago in Christian
Post # 2
Member
6592 posts
Bee Keeper

FI and I are interfaith. He’s Catholic, and I’m nonreligious. There are a lot of complexities of Catholicism that I thought might create a chasm between us, but we respect each other’s beliefs. No one is trying to convert the other. We have some common ground in our approach to our lives. It will be difficult for you in the future if he continues to be hardheaded about religion, so it’s better to discuss these things early on.

Post # 3
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC

GirlyGirl24:  Honestly, not really sure what kind of advice to give you here. You seem pretty set in your opinions against the Catholic Church (which is totally fine), and it’s clear your SO isn’t going to change his mind about being a Catholic. If religion is a deal breaker for you, then perhaps you should reexamine your future in this relationship. Have you talked about how you will raise future children? How would you feel having your children raised in the Catholic faith? 

As a strong Catholic myself, I can tell you that it’s very important to my faith that my children be raised in the Church. I also talked to him about how I’d love if he were ever open to converting, so that we could share in the same sacrements together as a family. I’d never make him convert, but I made sure my FI knew what things I wasn’t willing to give in on and agreed to it before marriage talks got too serious. Maybe talk to your FI about your concerns re: your differences in opinion, and see what his thoughts are on the future of your relationship? Is he ok with the differences in beliefs? 

Post # 4
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

GirlyGirl24:  firstly, you need to consider your religious differences and really think about if you could handle them the rest of your life if you do get married go him.

It sounds like you have a lot of issues with the Church. Have you ever talked with a priest about these isues you have? I personally have found that in many cases when I don’t agree with somethinf from any church it is typically a misunderstanding. I take what I think they believe and make my assumptions. When I have brought up my questions to different priests before they have been so helpful and really help me understand why Catholics believe what they do. 

Talking with one, maybe with your SO, might really help you both.

oOh, BTW, Catholics whom are divorced CAN take communion! It’s only if they get remarried before an annulment that they cant. 

Post # 5
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Backyard

I completely understand your train of thought. I consider myself to be a relaxed Pentecostal and although Catholicism might be Christian as well I find a lot of their practises and beliefs to be very different to mine. I think it is definitely something you should talk about as the fundamentals of these two denominations are highly conflicting on many levels. You need to talk about whether you plan to live and let live or whether you think each other’s practises will cause a problem in the future. For me personally, I understand your concern about the praying to Mary because to other denominations praying to anyone except the Holy Trinity is detrimental to your salvation. I think you first should figure out what this means to you and if you get along with two religions in your house, particularly when children come along, or whether this will be a constant concern for you. Then the two of you need to talk about how to handle this moving forward. 

Post # 8
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

GirlyGirl24: I’m a recovering Catholic and F I is a recovering Anglican. 

We’re probably more theologically aligned than nit but the big thing for us is respecting each other’s beliefs (even if we don’t agree with them) and agreeing how we are going to raise our kid(s), if any. 

For you, I would try to keep an open mind. Right now, your post doesn’t come across as very respectful of his beliefs. That’s problematic if you don’t respect his beliefs (not commenting either way — just a point to think about).

for him, is it a deal breaker if you decide not to marry in the church? For some Catholics it is. try to get clarity on that. 

If the relationship is getting serious enough to talk marriage and kids, pray and get counsel for the way forward for yourself. Share with your partner and decide if this is the right relationship to continue, or if you should make yourself available for a partner that is more compatible from a belief perspective

Post # 10
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Backyard

Just keep praying about it. Trust that God will give you the right answer. Good luck 🙂

Post # 11
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

From the sounds of it, he would be happy to bring up his children in a “daddy believes this…., mummy believes this … And that’s ok!” Kind of way. 

If he can’t do it that way, then that’s an indicator that he doesn’t fully respect your veins and that this may not ever work. But remember that you must be open to doing his too!

Post # 12
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think you should talk and be honest. You talked about the possibility of converting, but if these are your feeling its just not true. Im a Catholic and he’s an atheïst, and we have always been completly honest and respectful. If you can’t do that, he may not be the right one for you.

Post # 14
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

GirlyGirl24: glad to hear that you respect his beliefs. I was pretty sure you did, but concerned that you might not be communicating that  🙂

you know that you have to vow to raise your children catholic if you marry in the church, right? I asked and the priest was rather offended that I would consider striking that vow At all  

it’s something to think about, especially as you try to get clarity on catholicism’s various Aspects. 

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