Christian bees who waited until marriage… (or are still waiting)

posted 3 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

How long were you waiting for?  4.5 years (including 8 month engagement)

Did you wait with previous relationships? he was my first relationship. 

What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)? we waited for all sexual activity. We only kissed but no tongue. 

How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex? during our engagement, I read a couple Christian books on it so I felt like I knew enough about  what to expect. I know more now but mostly about our likes/dislikes. 

Post # 4
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@FutureMrsSarah:  Great Question!!


How long were you waiting for? Been waiting all my life, still a virgin


Did you wait with previous relationships? Yes. I actually left an ex of mine because things were getting too intimate and he didnt want to commit, even after years of dating. 


What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)? Intercourse/oral sex/anything requiring me to take my clothes off.


How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex? Now that I’m engaged  I’m learning bit by bit. Its an exciting time, and me and FI are at least starting to talk about it, which is good. No one really talks about sex in my family, its kinda a hush-hush taboo topic, so although I understand the anatomy of it, I feel like I still have much to learn. Its such a change in mentality from “running away from sex” to slowly embracing it as “newly married.” This site has been great for learning about BC options as well. I’ll eventually make a visit to the gyno…eventually…I’m a nervous bee when it comes to that 🙂








Post # 5
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013


How long were you waiting for? Both virgins ’til our wedding day, I was 22 and he was 27 (so… that long)  🙂

What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)? Intercourse; though we didn’t even kiss until we were almost engaged (2.5 years of dating), and we abstained from almost all sexual activity until about a month before the wedding date — but then we wanted to explore a little and make sure we were on the same page. In the end, went further than we wanted to with other sexual activity. Oops.

How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex? I found the website very helpful. It answered a lot of questions, unabashedly. We did our research, but obviously nothing can compare to actually doing the deed 😉

SO GLAD WE WAITED, by the way. A little awkward at first, but free from baggage and heartache and diseases and what-have-you 😉 Nothing but pure discovery and exploration — very exciting and sexy, and now we have our whole lives to perfect it.


Post # 7
45 posts


I have been waiting so long that when the time comes for my Honey & I to come together, he may have to remove the cobwebs first! Lol….jk I have been waiting for 14.5 yrs… let me explain that…first off, I decided that after the relationship ended between myself & the guy that I last had sex w/, that I would no longer sleep with guys that I dated…no matter how serious we were. I just got tired of being emotionally drained & just wasn’t interested in sex anymore…that being said, 2 years, after my last sexual encounter, I rededicated my life back to God & have abstained from any sexual behavior ever since. It was one of the best decisions that I made! As far as me & my honey waiting, we do and have done nothing sexual…nothing….we do kiss & hug, but that’s it…fort pit! We’re both experienced due to our previous relationships, but have been able to abstain from sex/sexual behavior all with the help of the Lord…w/out Him, there’s NO WAY I would’ve been able to hold on this long! Kudos to the Virgins…honey if I knew then, what I know now, I most definitely would of held on to my virginity. the thing I love about God is that when you give your life to Him, He makes ALL things new! So I am content w/ knowing that on my wedding night, me & my husband will be “new” to each other. (I am so corney…lol) As far as what our expectations are, we don’t have any…I don’t expect him to take me to the moon & back & vice versa…I just want him to enjoy my body…every crack & crevice (if you & there’s a lot of them for him to enjoy! Lol! I do know what I like & what I don’t like & he knows what he likes/dislikes, so that helps…I have read some articles that have been very helpful to me as far as easing some of the anxiety I had…we’ll have the rest of our lives to “perfect” things…lol

Post # 8
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsSarah:  1. into my mid 20s, 19 months of dating/engaged with my husband

2. Yes.

3. No intercourse, no touching of genitals, no touching of my boobs with his hands, even through clothes. We also decided not to have him touch too close (butt / hips / inner thighs) because it was too arousing.

4. I read up and thought I was knowledgable, but of course theory and practice are very different. It didn’t matter though, because we learned the practice together.

Post # 9
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

I just wanted to say that you girls are really amazing, and an inspiration. I really wish I would have waited for my husband. We waited until marriage together, but it was a very whirlwind relationship. I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world though, so for her, I can’t say I’m 100% sorry. I am so glad that I have the man the Lord intended for me, but it would have been amazing to be able to have given him my virginity on our wedding night.

I am on one of the other threads debating the legitimacy of abstinence in relation to reproductive health. I think that many people outside of the Christian community believe that the idea of people waiting for marriage is actually a myth or an urban legend. 

Congratulations on your upcoming marriages ladies. You have an awesome testimony 🙂

Post # 10
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

@Soon2BeeFirstLadyJee:  Yes to everything you said. It feels like there was never anyone before my husband 🙂

Isn’t God’s grace AMAZING

Post # 12
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

How long were you waiting for? Both of us are 29 and both of us are virgins. 

Did you wait with previous relationships? I know he kissed his last girlfriend but that it.  I had never even kissed anyone till I met my FI and we didn’t kiss until after we were engaged.  I know extreme but that what we decided.  We did cuddle, hug and give kisses on the cheek but that it.

What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)? I believe it not just Intercourse or sexual activity, there is also a lot of emotional giving that you can give.  I always kept myself shelter from giving to much of my heart away.

How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex?  I know quite a bit for being a virgin.  But I didn’t grow up a christian but had always kept myself.  My FI seems more clueless than me, I know it will be a learning experience, all my aunts are trying to give me “The Talk” gladly I pointed out I’m reading book my new pastor’s wife gave me.  My FI have a open relationship and we talk about it.  I think we are ready for our wedding night.

For the emotional part, I recommend to EVER single guy or girl a book called “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric & Leslie Ludy  It’s awesome!!!

Post # 13
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

How long were you waiting for? We have been waiting for just over a year. We have been together for 2 years and unfortunately at the beginning it was very difficult as I had just given my life to Christ and let’s just say I was not able to fight temptation. Through conviction we were able to stop having sex and believe me it made our relationship stronger. God’s grace has been evident and I thank Him that we were able to repent and we haven’t looked back. I do feel like I have failed God I’m thankful for the second chance too!

Did you wait with previous relationships? Nope never saw the point until I got born again. I’m so thankful that I have learnt that there is more to a relationship than sex!!

What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)? We hold hands and hug, that’s really as far as it goes!

How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex? Quite a bit from my past but I think because my FI and I now have a different outlook to sex it will be different as we will be intimate from a place of love rather than of lust!

Post # 14
241 posts
Helper bee

waiting 7 years by wedding, no previous relationships for either of us

no undressing but a lot of kissing and hugging.

Post # 15
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@FutureMrsSarah:  This is so nice to see that other people wait, too. Sometimes I feel like I am the odd one out. And thank you to whoever posted themarriagebed website… I haven’t seen that before but now I will check it out.

How long were you waiting for? All my life! We will be together almost three years by the wedding. 

Did you wait with previous relationships? Yes, I did. He did not–there was another girl he almost proposed to in his past, when he was a different person and she pressured him. 

What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)? Intercourse, like PP said, nothing that required us to take our clothes off. I admit we have gone beyond kissing and hugging since we got engaged, but not anywhere close to sex.

How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex? I feel like I know a decent amount, but it’s all “knowledge” and I’m still a bit unsure what to expect in terms of feelings. However, my FI is super reassuring and very sensitive to my feelings about him having previous experience, and I feel very comfortable with him. I think he is totally fine about practicing until perfect. 🙂

Post # 16
31 posts



How long were you waiting for?


I am 24, FI is 22, we are both virgins.


Did you wait with previous relationships?


He is my first relationship, he has never gone past kissing/cuddling with past relationships.


What did you constitute as ‘waiting’ (Intercourse? All sexual activity? etc)?


For us, waiting means the only things that are okay are hugging, kissing on the cheek, and cuddling, although we are going to start kissing on the lips about a week before our wedding.  He will be my first kiss, and I don’t really want my first kiss in front of a whole bunch of people!


How much knowledge do you consider you have about sex?


I think I am very knowledgable about sex for a virgin.  I’ve always been interested in biology and the reproductive system in particular, so I have done a fair bit of research in terms of the physical part of sex.  (Although knowing the purpose of the seminal vesicles doesn’t do you too much good in bed haha…)  Unfortunately (fortunately?), even though I am a virgin, I know what I like from experimentation on my own before becoming a Christian.  FI and I have talked a lot about sex in terms of what our expectations are, what we are nervous about, questions about how the other anatomy works, etc.  As the wedding draws nearer, I plan on learning more about techniques etc, but I don’t want to tempt myself too much now.


So I feel pretty prepared from a physical perspective, but emotionally, I have no idea how sex wiill affect me or what issues it will bring up.  That’s the part I feel is more difficult to prepare for, although I have found it difficult to find resources that go into this. 




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