Post # 1
I’m not on birth control yet since my fiance and I are holding off for the wedding but… I don’t think we are ready to have a baby together just yet. But from what I’ve heard birth control is against the church? I’ve told my fiance my concerns, I’m pretty sure the bible looks at sex as pro creation not satisfaction so it just seems like it’s a sin to be on birth control or use condoms. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies and can’t wait to have a baby with him but I think we will be more ready in 3 or so years.
So what’s your opinion on birth control and what would/did/do you do?
Post # 3
I’m on the fence about this one. I take birth control; the only thing that holds me back about it is the very real possibility of it basically causing miscarriages that we never even know about.
Most (many?) christians don’t share my beliefs, but I think God gave mankind the knowledge to prevent us from over-populating the earth. Our land can only sustain so many people. Birth control could be God’s way of protecting us.
Post # 4
I think that as long as the birth control doesn’t produce an abortion, it is okay.
Post # 5
The Song of Solomon is an entire book of the Bible devoted to discussing love, and clearly sex – and yet there is no mention of children in it. There are many conflicting views, but I’d recommend The Contraception Guidebook: Options, Risks, and Answers for Christian Couples. This will walk you through the many forms of birth control and medical implications, and give you the information to make a wise decision as a couple.
Post # 6
Wish there was a like button on WB. Thank you both for your responses.
I’ll consider looking into birth control. I don’t take meds, too many side effects for me so I stick to prayer for the most part. A little nervous about the birth control for spiritual and physical reasons. The physical reasons mentioned above and the spiritual reasons for things I was told as a child in the churchs I grew up in
Post # 7
@MrsCVsomeday: Wow, I will look into that! I didn’t know they had a book like that. Thank you! I’m really looking forward to reading the song of solomon, I’ve heard many people talk great things about it, I just haven’t gotten that far yet
Post # 8
@kris325: I’ve come to understand sin as somethidemo ore intricate than defying the 10 commandments… I’ve come to understand that it also includes rebellion… Going against God’s instruction or taking things in to our own hands. I was on BC years ago and stopped b/c I wasn’t comfortable with the potential side effects.
My fiance and I have remained celibate so no need for it now but we also agreed to refrain from using it after we get married. We’ve left the baby business up to God and His timing. I know some people may think its careless but we realize that while babies are a blessing and handful, He also has plans. Just like we all have a purpose so will our children. So, if God has it in mind to give us a baby really soon after marriage or even later on for His purpose to be fulfilled so be it.
It is a little nerve wracking but I’m learning to trust that anything He brings about, He will bring us through. I’ve had too many instances where I took things in to my own hands for one reason or another and that never worked out well so I’m trying to rely on Him for guidance.
This may be the obvious question but have you guys prayed on it or discussed it with your pastor for some guidance?
Post # 9
I think it depends on your religion. The Jewish faith is actually pretty PRO- birth control and fairly pro “female sexual satisfaction”. In fact… if you go old-style jewish orthodox you will find that there are mandates that a man must take pleasing his wife quite seriously.
For some reason, Christianity, in particiular, has decided for whatever reason that sex is not to be “enjoyed”. And I’m not sure why. Especially since the Jewish faith…. which is the basis for the bible…. old testament and all…. doesn’t feel that way at all.
Catholics, for sure, are against birth control and feel that sex should be for procreation only. This is for a couple reasons that were logisitcally beneficial for the church. If you have lots of kids… then the church has more members.
I personally don’t believe that birth control is a sin, and I can’t think of anything sadder than viewing sex as something that is not be enjoyed…. or even relished. But I think that you and you husband should discuss this with each other. If religion is important to you, then you should also seek DIRECT and open counsel with your minister instead of going off what you have “heard”.
Post # 10
I believe that life begins at conception, so as long as the birth control (condoms, pill, etc…) prevents conception, in my book, you’re fine.
Post # 11
@GoldenZee: This is how I’ve been feeling, why I’m going back and forth. At church a couple of weeks ago our pastor got on the topic about letting God take over, about us giving up control and letting him lead the way. My fiance nudged me when the pastor said this because well I’m a bit of a control freak. I’ve been really working on this but I’m not perfect and it will take time for me to be able to follow with everything without hesitation but I’m working on this. My main two concerns are that
a. it’s sinning because it’s stopping a beautiful gift from God and basically using sex as an enjoyment and not at all reproduction
b. as you said it’d be like I was taking this into my own hands and not giving him the control.
I told my fiance just those two things a few nights ago and he listened (he’s a great listener) and he said he wasn’t sure what we should do. He’s confused just as much as I am.
We have lunch with our pastor on Sunday, I’m really excited. We’re going to discuss our future roles in the church. I’ve been helping in the sunday school this past month but I would like to do more. Our officiant quit on us. He used to be a preacher but quit a few years ago and some are saying he went back to drinking but we don’t know. All I know is he told my fiance (the preacher is my fiances uncle) that he’d been “praying on it and I don’t want to” so we’re going to ask our pastor if he would do it for us. And with that I’m sure we will have to do some pre marital meetings and hopefully we will be able to discuss the issue of birth control at this point?
Post # 12
@3xaCharm: I didn’t know that about the jewish religion! I love learning all of the aspects of other religions, I have a close friend who is jewish and we discuss her faith often. Same thing with my friend who is catholic. I’m not sure of my denomination. Can I pick the “bible thumper” denomination? I’m in a non denominational church right now which seems pretty good. But even there I don’t agree with everything they say. I believe what I read and what I interpret myself. I haven’t read much of the bible just yet but I’m getting there and in genesis I know there was mention of a man who was supposed to impregnate his brothers wife since his brother passed away but he was spiteful and pulled out and went on the ground and was punished for it. But I think he was punished because he disobeyed God, not because of the act of going on the ground in itself. But I don’t know.
Thank you for the info on the jewish part, and I do agree that sex should be enjoyed, especially the intimacy that comes along with it when you have someone you truly love. I just am confused as the pro creation and the precautions to pregnancy
Post # 13
I am in favor of it. The availability of birth control, which probably does not have an abortifacient effect, has been shown to contribute to or possibly even cause a drop in abortions. (source: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/10/05/study-free-birth-control-leads-to-fewer-abortions/ )
Some women are not ready for children, others cannot afford them, and still others would not be fit mothers. All the time, I hear people telling those complaining about vet bills, expensive pet food, the cost of boarding, etc. that if one cannot afford to have a pet, one should not have one. Why should less stringent arguments apply to children, despite the fact that we know that things like nutritious food, adequate parental involvement, secure living situations and the like are much more likely to affect a child than an animal? Children are no longer mandatory, and I feel there should be more of an onus on parents to bring a child into the world only when at least minimally prepared. Furthermore, it’s going to be a lot easier to raise a child to be a good Christian when the mother isn’t working two jobs just to make ends meet. Birth control, whether it be an IUD, the Pill, or condoms, accomplishes this goal without the loss of human life.
I would not personally have an abortion except in the case of rape or extreme mental or physical deformation. I don’t like abortion at all, and it isn’t the right choice for me. But until they present me with good, reliable science showing me proof that birth control causes babies that are already created to die, I am going to continue using birth control. And until premarital sex, sex within abusive or unstable households, and rape/incest situations cease to occur, I think others should have that option readily available to them as well. When both abortion and birth control cease to be available, bad things happen (source: http://www.nytimes.com/1990/06/24/magazine/romania-s-lost-children-a-photo-essay-by-james-nachtwey.html )
Post # 14
I believe God created sexual intimacy for marriage and that he did so not only for reasons of procreation but also as a very powerful and pleasurable way for husbands and wives to bond with each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
As a Christian, I was very committed to not having sex outside of a marriage relationship, and, much to my own surprise, I did not meet the right man until I was in my mid 40s. Because I did not marry until I was 47, and my Darling Husband and I both are very open to receiving a baby from God, we have chosen not to use birth control.
However, if I were much younger and had already had children, I’m really not sure how my Darling Husband and I would have chosen to handle this issue. I am not necessarily theologically opposed to using birth control (I should note that I am not Catholic); however, I also love knowing that the decision whether or not I will bear a child or children is entirely in the hands of God.
Post # 15
Pretty well every church is PRO birth control (contraception), except the Catholic Church. Since you’re in a “non denominational” church, that probably means some form of Protestant. And every Protestant church I’ve had any contact with (Anglican/Episcopalian, Methodist, Baptist, etc) supports contraception. Also as others have said, sex for pleasure is fine according to the Bible.
I’ve used a variety of contraception methods since I married many years ago: The Pill, condoms+spermicide, condom alone, and then after we’d had kids my husband had a vasectomy.
Post # 16
“Birth control” is a medication to help women who suffer for a variety of medical problems. It is a necessary medication just as much as it is a birth control.
ETA: I think that in the end you will have to answer for your own sin to God. If birth control turns out to be sinful then you answer for it, no one else. I think we need to be a little less judgmental as Christians and be more worried about our own sins.
And yes, I’m a born again Christian, I just get so irritated with some people’s ignorance.