Post # 1
I am just looking for your views on something. I plan to get married on the beach. I am a born again christian and I believe that once married it would be seen in the eyes of God. However, now I am getting so much opposition from older ones incl my mom in the church saying it should be in the church bc it is a spiritual bond. I know the church is God’s house for worship praise fellowship and learning. But where ever I go it will be a spiritual bond.
My fiance agrees and supports whatever I decide. He basically just wants me to tell him where to show up bc he is just ready to say yes… he would marry me in a court house today if he has his way.
My church is like a second family though, and I am usually very stubborn and so obviously i think well its not their wedding… so be it. But just knowing I am stubborn sometimes I take the extra step to just try and stand back and be emphatic. In so doing I just want other persons opinion. What do u guys think?
Post # 3
It IS your wedding. My mom tried to guilt me into getting married in church and at that point (prior to us finding the one my grandparents married in) they weren’t even on the list of possibilities because its expensive to “rent” the space! I felt I was still taking my vows before God whether I was in church or outside.
Post # 4
A church is a location for Christians to gather and worship together, it doesn’t confine God to a single space. He is just as much a part of your wedding and subsequently your marriage if you get married in His house or in the nature that He created. Spirituality doesn’t stop when you exit the building.
Do what makes you happy.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I am also Christian, and I believe that God created the heavens and the earth, so why not get married out in nature too? God is with you always when you have a relationship with Him. Church is a special place to be with other worshippers too, but I also do not believe that its only “real” in a church, your love and relationship with God happens everywhere else too. (not knocking on church… what I mean is to me it is just as real as in the church as in nature. It’s where YOU feel that you want to say your vows.)
Post # 6
Do they truly believe that God is contained in a building? God created the EARTH so I think anywhere that he created is a great place to have a wedding.
My BIL is an ordained reverend. He has done multiple weddings outside including two of his own children’s! As long as you make the vows to God he will hear you.
And I’m not getting married in a church either.
Post # 8
@Treejewel19: Thanks you guys. Their issue isn’t really it won’t be noticed in the eyes of God, it’s more like… why would you ever consider getting married anywhere else BUT church?! What’s wrong with just being traditional? They just can not wrap their minds around i
Post # 9
@EyeonT: God will be at your wedding no matter where it is!
Have you thought about asking them why it’s such an issue? Chances are it will be because they don’t see it the way we are explaining it.
Post # 10
It’s not wrong to get married outside the church, it’s just “God’s House” and there is many representations of God and His Word in the place of worship. My mom also pressured us to get married in the church and I agreed because I felt it was the tradition, right thing to do. I wouldn’t judge anyone for not being married in the church, it’s just your preference and beliefs. Older people will usually always stick to tradition and that’s what they know/believe. You’ll just have to decide if you want to give in to their wants/tradition or if you can deal with it and get married wherever you want.
Post # 11
@EyeonT: I understand, completely. I was raised by my grandparents, very conservative Christians. My dress wasn’t white and I thought my grandmother was going to panic.
That being said I have come to the conclusion that I feel closer to God amongst His creations outdoors versus being indoors with His people. I feel free to connect with Him, open up to Him and take in what He has made for me. Why on Earth would I want to get married anywhere else but outdoors? And so I did. 🙂
Post # 12
“My church is like a second family”
…and that’s exactly it. When people get into knots over this topic, I ask them whether they think “the Church” refers to the community of people who worship together or if it is the collection of wood, brick and stone that makes up the building (or the shadiest tree in the village, or an underground basement, or the local cinema or school hall)
Post # 13
@EyeonT: The church is a group of people, not a building. There is nothing special or sacred about a church building. In fact the earliest church didn’t have church buildings, they met in people’s houses.
I know several born again Christians who have married outside. There is nothing wrong with it.
Post # 14
I don’t know, I think it is up to you. God is everywhere. What matters more to you- the beach that you want, or those people’s opinions? That is a slippery road with wedding planning!
Post # 15
My in-laws sound a lot like your mother – MIL freaked out when we said we were getting married in a garden, rather than a church, not because of God, but because it’s not “done.”
We spent ages telling them “It’s fine, loads of people getting married outside of churches, we’re not overly religious, so we’re not comfortable with it, we don’t belong to a particular church, etc. etc.” No reason was good enough. Until, after months of back and forth about this, my MIL brightly announced to us both “So-and-so’s daughter got married in a garden last week and it was lovely! Your wedding should be great!”
Basically, none of our reasons were good enough until they saw for themselves that the world was actually not going to end as a result of us getting married somewhere other than a church. They’re very traditional people, and just can’t imagine anything that isn’t the norm for them, so we ended up just going ahead with our wedding plans, and ignoring their protests about how weddings are “supposed” to go.
Post # 16
@EyeonT: the church is a building. if all of the church buildings in all the world burned to the grown, we can still have church because church is the gathering of Christian hearts and minds in one place to praise and worship God…
don’t let anyone guilt you. do what you want. you have it right, they have it WRONG.