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So... I havn't heard talk of the Christmas Challenge in a little while... but I'm ready to start! I knew I couldn't do it before, but after a talk with BF toniight, I NEED to! I know all the talk is annoying him, and the more I think about it, the longer it feels like I am waiting!
I would appreciate the support of you ladies, and if you want to start again, or for the first time, leave a message! All the ring talk can happen here and not with your SO!
Oh, I told him I'd try to not say anything until V-Day... but that was a maybe ;)
You can do it! In fact, you're going to do it so well, your guy is going to get worried and start bringing it up himself! Because that is the beauty of the Christmas Challenge. Making the men think an engagement is their idea. Muahahaha.
Seriously though, it gets easier the longer you don't mention anything. Good luck, and I hope you have an amazing proposal story to tell us...and soon! :)
girlie i have failed that challenge so many times but i think valentine's is a good time period. i will take it like they say in the anon groups, one day at a time.
I'm with you...although I am already engaged!! Haha so in my case it will be no wedding talk.
FH and I are taking things one day at a time (crebre anon group!) lately and I know wedding talk is the last thing we need right now so I'm trying to keep it to a minimum until he is ready again. Which by the way is killing me because I like to get things planned and then relax about them! Lucky for me a lot of stuff was already done before this bump in the road hit and I can just tell people we are taking some time off from the wedding for the holidays :)
@SD ((HUGS)) i am having serious issues not knowing anything because I am ready to start planning and seriously looking at venues.
urgh - i wanted to do the xmas challenge soo much but i am failing and it's his fault. but i'm not complaining too much because he's *finally* talking about stuff. he told me yesterday that's he's opened a savings account so it seems he's getting serious! and now of course, i have to do my homework and get him my ring size and a sense of what i want! so i like the v-day challenge too!
I am with everyone else I have failed so many times.
But this time I'm SERIOUS. LOL
Well at least half serious. I am trying so hard.
We are here to support you, vent all you want, our ears are open.
The intent is half the battle, I promise. I'm alot less likely to bring it up if I think about the fact that I'm trying to be patient... before I would throw out almost-hurtful comments and snide remarks, but I'm trying to remember that we're doing this together and it takes two, baby. I think my biggest issue is that since we don't live together, I don't see if he's opened a savings account (probably not, since I know he's going to use at least part of a CD that is... mature?) or... really anything, since he doesn't do little stuff while we're together. Frustrating, but I don't want to be obnoxious or pushy.
Well my mental deadline is Dec. 31st! We have been together for four years and if he doesn't not want to commit to me by the end of the year---I don't know if he ever will do it! So if it's not done by then, I'M LEAVING!
Many of you may wonder, have you told him? The answer is yes, indirectly. I would never give the man an ultimatum to his face, however I am not going to "bug" him or bring "marriage" up everyday.
I just know that mentally, I will walk away from the relationship if no "official commitment" is im progress!
Good Luck Ladies on your challenge!
Aww. Don't feel bad. I failed it too, but HE brought it up!LOL
I'll get on the V-Day challenge also, although I hope it's before then! :)
Haha...I have failed the Christmas challenge SOOO many times. I was really good for about three weeks, and then I just failed miserably. I'm pretty sure there's no way I could make it to V-day (but hopefully I wont have to anyway!). To be fair, its mostly his fault anyway...he always brings it up!
I thought I was doing so good at this challenge... then realized I posted 3 days ago! Well, I have done good for 3 days, (seems like weeks!) Turns out he asked my dad for my hand this morning... and I was surprisingly relaxed about it. I didn't react, (excitedly or surprised,) and didn't talk to him or ask him about it. It still seems like it didn't really happen. Maybe the not talking is paying off! I guess I am waiting to be surprised since he wants it on his terms and doesn't want me to know anything about it! Fine then. On with the challenge!!
Congrats on him asking your dad--that's so exciting! You may not need to wait until Valentine's Day! How did you find out?
I will join you in the V-Day challenge for moral support! I too have failed the Christmas Challenge miserably. BF and I decided yesterday that for both of our sanity we would not talk engagement unless he brings it up. So I have to try my very best this time! Our "deadline" is March 1 and I don't think it will happen any earlier than that, so I'm looking at 4 long months of zipped lips!
Thanks for joining Hoya! I definitely feel much more sane not talking about it daily... and just getting it out on WB! I don't have a deadline, so who knows! I'm hoping sooner than later, but he is spending money left and right, but not on a ring! We have one picked out, and we talked about custom designs also, so I'm happy with either of those options. I actually feel better letting it go and letting him decide so I can be surprised. As long as he is educated on what you want, then zip the lips so he can feel like he surprised you!
Any updates ladies? Have you started any ring controversy??? I've been doing pretty good, minus the one night I thought he was going to propose. When I asked, he told me, "you really thought I would propose on a monday night at a restaurant?" I guess not! Checking off the possible scenarios: No monday nights, No restaurants. Got it. I've been doing good, and only saying something if he does :)
i've been doing ok, except for 11/10/09, when i thought mine would propose! i haven't mentioned it again since then though. he said i might have the ring by thanksgiving, so that would be exciting! only a week more to go if that's the case.
YAY iggies - sounds like we had a similar week! Oh well, it's coming soon though for all of us!
I am failing miserably! I brought up rings last night. I've just been in such a crappy mood because of PMS and the cold rainy weather we've had the last couple of days. However I am hopping right back onto the bandwagon to try again!
I have failed this challenge sooo many times. I even bought a super cute girly journal with a red suede cover that has a heart outlined in rhinestones on it to write in instead of spouting off. Yeah...I made it for 3 entries...last one a month ago. But this time it's for real! I pinky swear.
@ hoyalawya2010 - i love the idea of writing in a journal! there was a time when i hated my old job so much, but i didn't want to bother my boyfriend about it, so i bought a journal. it worked great for me then. i wish i thought of it for this! i hate that all my friends are engaged or married (or single), so i have nobody to gripe with, which makes it soooo hard!
@ waterprincess - ooo i hope it happens for you soon too!
We almost got into a quasi-heated discussion. I was mad cause I found out my friend was getting married... oh it was just a mess and starting tonight I'm not saying a word.
@Hoya - LOL welcome back to the challenge... so begins another day :)
Yea I never thought of a journal - although this is kind of my journal! And I definitely don't have any friends to discuss with... moved to be with him = lack of friends... and I have high standards for friends ;)
@KM welcome back again - think of it this way - I'm sure you will upset other "waiters" when you get married!! Someone will always be waiting and watching someone else get married, we are just in that spot at the moment. It's really not that long in the scheme of things :)
So tired... going to bed, goodnight bees!
I've been amazingly good about this, and have only slipped up once or twice. I only respond to the things he says and even then I usually skim over what he says to change the conversation. I've been so good about sticking to the challenge, in fact, that I think he's starting to think I don't want to get hitched anytime soon! Is there no justice?! *shakes fist*
It may be time to break out the big guns...I'm going to sic my sisters on him. Muahahahaha!
Minutiae- can we be like, BFFs? You are so cute and it makes me happy every time I see you post!
OOOOOO. Starting TODAY I am DONE with the ring talk! I AM DONE! I am driving everyone up the wall! I know it and I am just going to vent on here.
At least you ladies want to hear me, right? :)
In all honesty, though, today was another ring-blowup because my sister almost spilled the beans and I got angry. Apparently, it was a "dummy" date, one everyone made up to throw me off. I'm sick of everyone in my life playing mind games on me! LOL...that's all it is -- sick, twisted, mindgames. It's starting to really psychologically bother me. I think everyone is tricking me or something, and I'm not fond of it!
I did, however, give myself a LOVELY french manicure which the boy so obviously noticed. ;) I've been growing out my nails and keeping them in tip-top shape for when the ring arrives. He he he.
fire - that's so unfair!!! and cruel! you have a right to be upset. but hopefully a sparkly on finger very soon will make enduring it all worth it!
I'm with you Minutae and KSull...my sis is totally going to lose it on him FOR me if by Jan. 1 there isn't a ring on my left hand. One WORTHY of my uuuber 2009 long wait. grrrr!~
Bellenga, I think that's totally fair! I need a sister to go shopping with him since so far we HAVEN'T GONE YET. Actually a sister would be really convenient in general. I always wanted one, and got a little brother instead. Your blog is so cute, BTW, I read it!
I am completely on board for the Christmas Challenge! I am not going to mention the ring, engagements, or weddings until after Dec. 25th! I'm hoping that this silence will push BF into dropping to one knee before then!
Has anyone had luck getting a proposal by doing the Christmas Challenge?
yeah i wish i had a sis or at least had a close friend of his that was female to confide in.... alas... i am an only child. but i know the oldest of his two sisters is routing for me (and she my favorite of his two sisters, and i think because we're close in age so we get along so well)! though it probably wouldn't occur to him to ask her for advice! once i send him my email about my size, links to stuff i like, and some suggestions for where to go, my lips will be forever sealed until he brings it up! and even then, i will change the subject!! (though i'm secretly hoping that with his best friend getting engaged this weekend and probably marriend in the next year, there may need to be some negotiating on dates... hehehe).
Jaxx sisters can be overrated...I was ranting to my older sister recently about not being engaged yet, and she responded oh so supportively by whining that she wished the diamond in her ering were bigger. *headdesk*
@jaxx317 - i have to agree with hoyalawya about the sisters being overrated. my sister doesn't want to even hear anything about how much i wish my boyfriend would propose already. she just gets annoyed with me when i bring it up. of course, my sister is 21 and doesn't really care about getting married, so i understand why it's not something she wants to talk about.
the majority of my friends are either engaged, married or single and NONE of them understand what i am going through with the waiting thing. they all tell me that it will happen. the problem is that when it happened to them they were with their boyfriends for a short period of time and weren't expecting it. i understand that they want to see me happy, but it's just not the same when someone who has what you want is giving you advice about waiting when they didn't have to.
so today i freaked when i got an email from my friend's maid of honor asking if we would be ok with one of two dates for my friend's shower. i had wanted to get married by august of next year. now i don't see that happening and the fact that my friend's shower might be one of the two dates that i had wanted to get married on, i'm just frustrated and sad. it's not like i can say, "oh, i'm getting married on such a date and the shower being on that day wouldn't work for me."
iggies: I agree with you. My bf told me that his cousin asked him to be in their wedding next Nov., but we are planning on getting married next summer. It may seem like we are trying to up stage them because we aren't engaged yet and our hypo wedding is before theirs. I am afraid that people will think that we are just trying to get married before them when we do get engaged because we are a few years older and we have been together for longer. But no one knows that we already have a date in mind because how can you announce that when you aren't engaged?
I just wish that he would propose before anyone else sets a date that will be close to ours.
I think I am going to throw myself into the Christmas Challenge...I actually havent mentioned engagment/ring/wedding stuff in a few weeks so hopefully I can make it another month! Im hoping for a ring on my birthday next weekend but I doubt I will get one...le sigh.
Ok Count me in! I don't think my BF is getting tired of me talking but I think he is getting extra suspicious of me finding out his plans when I talk about rings and stuff. I know its coming soon so if I stop talking about it it might ease his mind more and allow me to be genuinely suprised!
Hi Ladies, can someone explain to me what the Christmas challange entails... my BF and I have been together for over four years and it seems like I am just waiting forever for him to propose.. I must admit I do bring the subject up alot its just so hard not to. We went and picked out rings last month but still nothing.. I am starting to just get really upset about the whole thing. I hate being on his timeline.
This challenge is my kind of thing. I know I can do this because after I gave him the "deadline", I haven't mentioned engagement since. He does seem to mention it quite often. Now... I do talk a lot about the wedding. LOL!!!
Me: So, what do you think about this venue for the Day After Brunch?
Mister: What is this Day After Brunch for? Thanksgiving or Christmas?
Me: (rolling my eyes) Dude, seriously, stop playing with me.
Mister: (laughing) I haven't even purchased the ring and you're already planning the wedding. So much for a small and intimate affair we were going for. (more laughter)
So, I guess my challenge is to NOT mention anything wedding related to him until after Christmas. I'll just write all my ideas here or on my personal wedding blog. If I need feedback, I'll for sure bring it to the Hive.
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