Post # 1
Hello this is my first post here on the Bee!
I’m a little confused if should get Christmas presents for my SO’s parents and sister’s family. A little information about my SO and I… we have been together for almost a year. It will be a year in Jan. I have met his parents and have visited them many times with my SO. I have also met his sister’s family and have spent alittle time with them. (we live I the same city). Well I know his family likes me and has told my SO this. However, his sister distances herself from me. She’s kind and polite, but never makes an effort to get to know me. I’m 22 and she is 32 so I know we don’t have too much in common but I still make an effort. I have even taken and picked her family up when my SO could not do so.
Well my SO told me that his parents are getting me a Christmas gift. Therefore, I decided I will send them a Harry and David basket for their gift. I feel like it would be rude of me to send his parents a gift and not his sister’s family. This past halloween I sent little goodie bags with my SO to give his nephews when he went to her house. Well the way my SO described her reaction it seemed like it was out of place for me to do that. So I’m a little apprehensive to send a gift basket to her family.
My SO has recently told me the his family does not allow girlfriends or boyfriends to holiday events so this already makes me feel a little left out due the fact that my parents invite my SO to our family events. So im a little confused if shoups get his family anything at all.
What would you ladies do?
Thank you for your time and response!
Post # 3
Welcome to the Hive!
I would just send them a card and leave it at that. It is nice of you to send something for his folks but brothers and sisters are different. Maybe next year revist the relationship you have with them and consider a gift.
Post # 4
I agree with sending a card to your SO’s sister. If you do end up seeing her over the holiday maybe just bring something small/informal like homemade cookies as a gift. I think it’s very nice of you to send his parents a gift basket ~ Harry & David’s are the best!! 🙂
Post # 5
@HisLittleDarlin: Send something inexpensive but thoughtful (like a framed picture of her brother or their family without you in it, a nice candle, etc.).This way she doesn’t feel back for not getting you anything but appreciates the thought. Also a handwritten card goes a long way if you decide to forego the gift.
As a sister I understand being reticent to befriend girlfriends until engagement happens. Honestly you aren’t his first and might not be his last so she is just not trying to get attached.
Post # 6
I agree with everyone else – a gift for his parents would be a lovely gesture, but for a first Christmas, a card to his sister’s family should be enough.
I had my first Christmas with my SO’s family just last year…gave a little assortment of homemade candies, other edible bits, and some of my handcrafted soap (yeah, I know that sounds like a weird combo, but they were in two different gift baskets! :P) to his Dad/Stepmom and his Mom/her boyfriend. I didn’t give anything to the siblings and it didn’t feel awkward.
Post # 7
I wouldnt get the sister anything or her kids. I’d let your boyfriend handle gifts for his family. If his parents are getting you something then may (or may not) expect a gift from you. I’d gauge how big you expect it to be. I once received a mitten and hat set that were 5$ from my inlaws (so id have something to open) before they were my inlaws. I would go with an informal gift of a plate of cookies or a wine personally – if I brought anything at all.