Post # 1
Hello my lovely bees,
I just got a call from one of my oldest and best friends, he’s just come back from vacation with his girlfriend, he literally spent his last dollar buying her dinner at the airport where they got delayed….he tells me he went to a jeweler to see how much they would give him for his class ring…not much, actually a laughable amount considering how sentimental the item itself is…he tells me he was going to use the money to buy her a necklace with the first initial of his name on it, since she used to wear a bracelet with a charm that had the letter on it, but kept snagging on things, so she stopped….well, as fate would have it, the first letter of my best friend’s name, is also the first letter of both my maiden and married last name and I will bet even money on the fact that there are at least 10 beautiful necklaces in my house with this letter engraved on them that I have NEVER worn.
So it got me thinking….if you recieved a lovely engraved necklace from your boyfriend, and found out that it actually came from his best friend…who also used to be an old flame of his over 10 years ago…would you be angry, upset or feel slighted? Would it be ok?
If not, I’m all about the Christmas paying it forward thing, I can totally afford $150 for him to go to the jewelry store and pick something for her that I pay for.
Which, if any, is better?
Post # 3
I’m a little torn on this issue. I don’t love the idea but I can recognize that it just makes sense. I dunno, I couldn’t vote!
Post # 4
My BFF’s (a guy) gf was very insecure about our friendship. Even though, we have never dated nor has he ever liked me, she didn’t like anything to have to do with me.
I would let your friend fend for himself on this one just to be on the safe side.
Post # 5
@Azalea_Bee: RIGHT??!?!?!? It’s really a hard call, and I know that doing something is the right thing to do this time of year….but what?
Post # 6
I think it is a really nice and considerate thought but I don’t know if it would go over as smoothly as you think. Would your friend possibly be offended by the suggestion?
I think for situations like this it is best to stay out. Perhaps take your friend to dinner if he is having a difficult time financially or get him a gift card for a generic place to help him out. This seems to be a potential landmine of drama if you get involved.
Post # 7
AAACK!!! i can’t vote. I’ve been going over and over all the choices. The logical part of my brain is saying “What’s the big deal so it was someone else’s first ” The other part of my brain is going … “well and my b/f used to BE with that chick” ….. what if you took a few of those necklaces to the jeweler and see how much you could get for them.
Post # 8
If I were the giftee I wouldn’t be too happy about it. I’d prefer a card over an ex flame’s necklace.
But fwiw I don’t think you’re a jerk for offering it or thinking of offering it. I’d probably do the same.
I’m a walking contradiction :p
Post # 9
@Treejewel19: Well, I know that he doesn’t mind…in fact he was kind of touched that I would even bother. You have to understand, there are literally hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry in my house…its what my mother, my father, my grandparents…everyone except Mr. 99 gives me and I NEVER wear any of it…it’s not that it’s not lovely and I don’t appreciate the thought, but other than some sentimental pieces, I could honestly care less and it’s just laying around taking up space in a dresser because I never think to wear any of it.
But that’s why I asked, this guy and I are best friends, and he always helps me out when I need it, I can tell this is killing him to be broke at Christmas…but what to do?
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s a good idea. It just seems like too much could go wrong. Give him the money for a necklace if you want to help out, but don’t give him something of your own.
Post # 11
I don’t even know why the hell it’s such a big deal that the necklace came from an old flame unless that flame was still kindling. FFS.
Post # 12
@HisIrishPrincess: Well, the money isnt’ the issue, but it seems counter-intuitive to buy something when you already have an item that is very similar….and as far as our relationship, it was over 10 years ago, and we can all see how that turned out. Better friends than lovers, for sure!
I don’t know…it’s maddening though right? And you know if it was a girfriend of mine and her bf wanted like a watch and Mr. 99 had one, we could fork that thing over without fear of anyone freaking out…women are complicated!
Post # 13
@Nona99: lol my issue with such gifts wouldn’t be who it came from, but the condition it’s in!
Post # 14
I would be pretty upset knowing he sold his class ring for something like that…..
Post # 15
Man that is a TOUGH one…. I would ask your friend. Offer these choices to him and let him decide which one would be better. I think a lot depends on his gf and how secure she is in their relationship and possibly how she even feels about you. And I think no one would know better than your friend. I personally think what you are doing is extremely sweet and giving. Merry Christmas to you! 🙂
Post # 16
I don’t think it should matter, but she might be mad about it. Would he tell her where he got it from?