christmas spirit, my husband is pissed!

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@unknow123:  I had a hard time following your post due to the lack of periods, commas, etc.  With that said, I don’t think my FI would be mad about giving anyone money, whom I thought was in need, but he would be really mad if I put myself in a dangerous situation like I believe you did.  

If someone is pan handling on the side of the road, for whatever reason, I am not stopping to ‘help’.  However, if the person in front of me is $5/$10 short with their groceries and having to eliminate an item, or two or three, then absolutely I will give them the cash (if I have it).  Difference is, I am in a public setting with people around me, and not ‘alone’ with a potential maniac.  

Post # 4
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Oh man….

Summary:  OP was stopped by a man asking for money because his wife locked her keys in the car, and she needed cash to call someone for help.  His kids were in elementary school just down the road (???).  OP considered giving man a ride but ended up not doing it.  Drove to the bank and deposited a check.  OP took $20 from the check, went back, and gave to the man.  Noticed the man had other cash in his hand, so she knew other people were giving him money.  She called her husband and told him the story.  He was angry because he thought she should not be giving money to strangers while he’s out busting his butt to earn said money.  Also I think OP is mentioning that the husband has an issue with her thoughts of giving this stranger a ride, and her obliviousness to the dangers that poses.

Post # 5
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This barely makes sense but from what I understand… my FI would be angry if I put myself in a situation like that too (entertaining the thought of driving somewhere with a stranger), he would NOT be angry if I gave money to someone in need.

@LMD:  Ahhh ok., so I understood correctly. My FI would be angry if I were that oblivious to a potentially dangerous situation, not at all angry if I gave someone money.

Post # 6
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@unknow123:  Unfortunately for you, that is a well known scam. If the kids are at the elementary school just down the street, he could walk to pick up the kids.

I think your husband’s reaction is partly based on concern for your safety. As much as we like to help, a woman alone should never invite a stranger into her car.

Post # 7
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Well I wouldn’t have said anything to my fiancee if he were yelling, I have told him before if he is upset with me he needs to speak like a rational person. I sometimes remind him that I understand that he is upset but could he lower his voice. It works for us, and I partially use diffusion techniques that I use with clients (I’m a therapist.) Personally, I would revist the conversation later. I would later let him know that I understand about safety concerns, but hey, I wanted to help someone out who was in a tough spot. I hope someone would do the same if I were in the same situation.

Post # 8
Member
9224 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

This sounds like you were the victim of a scam, OP.  That’s happened to me before, too, and I also gave the guy the money.  I only felt like an idiot later when I realized it, lol.  But, still, my heart was in the right place and so was yours.  I hope your husband doesn’t give you too hard a time about it.  He was probably just concerned for your safety.

Post # 9
Member
11731 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, this is a big-time scam done all the time.  Sorry, OP.

Post # 10
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

No, I pretty much never hand out money to people, however I spent part of my childhood in Taiwan/China, so I’m just not as trusting.

Post # 11
Member
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I never give people more money than a dollar.  $20?  That’s a lot of money.  And yeah, that was a scam.

Post # 12
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@unknow123:  Oh wow…you know, your heart is in the right place, but there are people who make a respectable living, scamming nice people just like you…its awful. 

There’s a Super Target near my house that I go to…HUGE parking lot, and this rather unique looking woman runs around it all day on the weekends, telling people she needs money for a cab, a hotel room, gas…there’s always kids involved and she talks real loud into her phone as she runs up to you…looking all frantic and upset…saying she can’t get a voucher for a room from the church…blah, blah, blah…problem is, I never forget a face…and I never carry cash…so I just tell them, “Sorry, things are rough all over”

But the SECOND time she did it, I reminded her that panhandling IS illegal, and told the manager his parking lot was being used for a scam.

Post # 13
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My FI would be pissed because this is one of the oldest scams in the book. Live and Learn, I guess.

Post # 14
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe I’m paranoid…but there is no way in hell that I would stop my car in the middle of the road for someone I do not know (unless there was an obvious wreck). I especially wouldn’t roll down my window or let him get anywhere near me. 

It was more than likely a scam. And I can see your husband getting upset for giving someone you do not know money. Especially someone on the side of the road. I can REALLY see him getting upset for your lack of concern over your safety. 

 

Post # 16
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@unknow123:  I understand giving during the holidays and wanting to help people. That is really noble of you, but in this case, it sounds like you were scammed. You need to be really careful about who you give money to and why they need it.

If you were willing to give him a lift to the elm. school down the street, it also means he could have just walked down there to get his kids.

Sorry, OP. For your safety, I see why your DH is upset.

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