Post # 1
I just need a little bit of advice this is what happened
so today I was driving to work in this older gentleman came basically the middle of the road and asked me to please stop so what I did I roll down my window and it said that he his wife locked her keys in the car and not he needed to be able to get a little bit of money to help her call somebody to come and unlock the car door he said that his kids are just at the elementary school down the street and she needs to be able to go get them so I thought I might offer to just give him a lift down the street elementary school to pick his kids up and he said because I’m a woman feel comfortable which I obviously I understand
so I didn’t have any cash on me but I was on my way to the bank deposit a check anyway so when I went to the bank I pulled out 20 dollars and I went back and gave it to him I saw other money in his hand so there were other people that were stopping as well as helping him out what
my husband called me I told my husband and he freaked out at me he said how could I be so stupid to not only give someone money but he said he’s not busting his ass working outside for me to give money to other people the thing is is it around Christmas time and I want to be a generous person I didn’t obviously think about the risks of driving him but they didn’t feel like I was in danger at all either
the thing is is I also work so I understand that my husband doesn’t want us to give money away to other people this is not a regular thing that I do with an offer to need to be like this one comes up I want to be able to do what I can and not to mention this is the first time that this is happening
so what I’m asking is would you have done the same and if so what I didn’t know what to say to my husband when he was yelling but what would you have said your husband or your fiance
Post # 3
@unknow123: I had a hard time following your post due to the lack of periods, commas, etc. With that said, I don’t think my FI would be mad about giving anyone money, whom I thought was in need, but he would be really mad if I put myself in a dangerous situation like I believe you did.
If someone is pan handling on the side of the road, for whatever reason, I am not stopping to ‘help’. However, if the person in front of me is $5/$10 short with their groceries and having to eliminate an item, or two or three, then absolutely I will give them the cash (if I have it). Difference is, I am in a public setting with people around me, and not ‘alone’ with a potential maniac.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Summary: OP was stopped by a man asking for money because his wife locked her keys in the car, and she needed cash to call someone for help. His kids were in elementary school just down the road (???). OP considered giving man a ride but ended up not doing it. Drove to the bank and deposited a check. OP took $20 from the check, went back, and gave to the man. Noticed the man had other cash in his hand, so she knew other people were giving him money. She called her husband and told him the story. He was angry because he thought she should not be giving money to strangers while he’s out busting his butt to earn said money. Also I think OP is mentioning that the husband has an issue with her thoughts of giving this stranger a ride, and her obliviousness to the dangers that poses.
Post # 5
This barely makes sense but from what I understand… my FI would be angry if I put myself in a situation like that too (entertaining the thought of driving somewhere with a stranger), he would NOT be angry if I gave money to someone in need.
@LMD: Ahhh ok., so I understood correctly. My FI would be angry if I were that oblivious to a potentially dangerous situation, not at all angry if I gave someone money.
Post # 6
@unknow123: Unfortunately for you, that is a well known scam. If the kids are at the elementary school just down the street, he could walk to pick up the kids.
I think your husband’s reaction is partly based on concern for your safety. As much as we like to help, a woman alone should never invite a stranger into her car.
Post # 7
Well I wouldn’t have said anything to my fiancee if he were yelling, I have told him before if he is upset with me he needs to speak like a rational person. I sometimes remind him that I understand that he is upset but could he lower his voice. It works for us, and I partially use diffusion techniques that I use with clients (I’m a therapist.) Personally, I would revist the conversation later. I would later let him know that I understand about safety concerns, but hey, I wanted to help someone out who was in a tough spot. I hope someone would do the same if I were in the same situation.
Post # 8
This sounds like you were the victim of a scam, OP. That’s happened to me before, too, and I also gave the guy the money. I only felt like an idiot later when I realized it, lol. But, still, my heart was in the right place and so was yours. I hope your husband doesn’t give you too hard a time about it. He was probably just concerned for your safety.
Post # 9
Yeah, this is a big-time scam done all the time. Sorry, OP.
Post # 10
No, I pretty much never hand out money to people, however I spent part of my childhood in Taiwan/China, so I’m just not as trusting.
Post # 11
I never give people more money than a dollar. $20? That’s a lot of money. And yeah, that was a scam.
Post # 12
@unknow123: Oh wow…you know, your heart is in the right place, but there are people who make a respectable living, scamming nice people just like you…its awful.
There’s a Super Target near my house that I go to…HUGE parking lot, and this rather unique looking woman runs around it all day on the weekends, telling people she needs money for a cab, a hotel room, gas…there’s always kids involved and she talks real loud into her phone as she runs up to you…looking all frantic and upset…saying she can’t get a voucher for a room from the church…blah, blah, blah…problem is, I never forget a face…and I never carry cash…so I just tell them, “Sorry, things are rough all over”
But the SECOND time she did it, I reminded her that panhandling IS illegal, and told the manager his parking lot was being used for a scam.
Post # 13
My FI would be pissed because this is one of the oldest scams in the book. Live and Learn, I guess.
Post # 14
Maybe I’m paranoid…but there is no way in hell that I would stop my car in the middle of the road for someone I do not know (unless there was an obvious wreck). I especially wouldn’t roll down my window or let him get anywhere near me.
It was more than likely a scam. And I can see your husband getting upset for giving someone you do not know money. Especially someone on the side of the road. I can REALLY see him getting upset for your lack of concern over your safety.
Post # 15
I feel like such an idoit. I was just trying to be kind. My husbad is beyond angry
Post # 16
@unknow123: I understand giving during the holidays and wanting to help people. That is really noble of you, but in this case, it sounds like you were scammed. You need to be really careful about who you give money to and why they need it.
If you were willing to give him a lift to the elm. school down the street, it also means he could have just walked down there to get his kids.
Sorry, OP. For your safety, I see why your DH is upset.