(Closed) Christmas/family rant + tips for dealing with stress/confrontation? (long)

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I can’t give detailed advice, because even though I have had a similar relationship with some members of my family, we were always at somebody ELSE’s house for the holiday, and thus just LEFT before things escalated.

My only advice is to stand up for yourself and your Fiance. Be firm, yet polite. If they don’t follow rules, ask politely once, then lay down the law. “This is our home, and you are our guest. We CHOOSE to invite you, and you are being very rude by not doing the simplest things in return.”

If things start to escalate with your mother, remain calm (I know this is hard…) and simply say “This is supposed to be a happy gathering. I will NOT let it become something else by getting into it with you. You can either respect this or leave.”

Choose your words carefully, and avoid words and phrases like “just calm down” or “you’re overreacting”, “you’re crazy/nuts/etc.”

Basically be the bigger person and you and Fiance should set the example of the peaceful holiday you are going for.

Post # 4
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hmmm…this is a difficult one. I don’t want to say just smile and nod, because I don’t believe in taking crap from ANYONE, but this is your family and you want to have a nice holiday, and chances are, they won’t make it easy. Are they just coming for dinner?

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