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wow! i had to smile at this post. it's not an easy thing to please people of different generations with different views on what appropriate conduct might be. my advice would be to accept your FMIL's stance. she knows her church best. you are not forcing your guests to dance at your wedding, and i would hope that they would not be so illmannered to express their disapproval at your reception (or anywhere else!)
i would like to think that even strict members of your church have all attended receptions that don't comply with their very formal customs and that they still managed to celebrate without compromising their beliefs. remind your fiance of the words of the prophet Jeremiah: "Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old shall be merry. I will turn their mourning into joy, I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow. [Jeremiah 31:13]
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So me and my fiance attend a church of Christ. He has gone all of his life and he is probably the only reason I go to this particular church. (It's not the entire church, just this particular congregation. Let's just say most of the male members are not particularly fond of females.) I grew up in an Assembly of God church. For the reception I want all of my friends to have fun and I myself want to have fun. For those of you that are not familiar with the Church of Christ the do not believe in dancing. I want to dance and my FMIL thinks it okay and she is a firm member or the church just as long as people...let's say aren't breeding on the dance floor. However my fiance thinks that the church member will think differently and make a deal out it. I am not out to piss anybody off but if they don't like it they can leave....right?! We are inviting the entire church, rather everyone attends is up to them. What do you think? Would you be offended if you were a guest at the wedding... I mean it's not like we are burning a cross in the middle of our reception. I am a firm believer in God and a faithful Christian but yet a very stubborn young lady who wants to have fun. And I mean like I told my fiance I just don't want to sit around and do nothing. I am already considering throwing the garter toss out the window just so the members won't have to see too much leg.