(Closed) Church of Christ members or not! Please help!

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What should we do
    Dance the night away and have fun. : (24 votes)
    96 %
    Just sit around and do a lot of nothing. : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Okay here’s the deal: My fiance and I are not religous, even a little bit, in fact we are having a completely secular ceremony

    His parent’s however are very very VERY devout members of Church of Christ, and quite a few people from that church will be attending. Also, my family is all very strict catholic, they will all be attending as well.

    We are having dancing, a cash bar, and a secular ceremony. THIS IS YOUR DAY, it’s all about you, and if they don’t like it, they can eat dinner and leave. I’m quite sure this is what all of my fiance’s family’s church friends will do. That is fine, I’m glad they’ll be there for the ceremony and the food, but I understand that they will probably be checking out after that. It’s your wedding, you don’t want to look back and realize that you didn’t do what was in your heart.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    You guys should do what you believe.  If you want to dance your first dance and don’t believe that is a sin, then go for it. 

    However, I would be cautious of inviting the whole church.  They will probably expect that it is a church style event, aka following in their beliefs.  If majority of the church does not believe in dancing and they show up and there is dancing this could be a problem.  I think since you are inviting the whole church, it gives the impression you will do things “according to the church”. 

    For any normal reception (aka not inviting the whole church), I think yes, if they have a problem with it they will leave.  You may get some heat later.

    I think it really comes down to how strictly do they believe in the “no dancing” thing, and what % of the congregation will come that believes this. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Some people have a church reception where they do the cake cutting and have a receiving line and things of that nature then have more of a party type reception later in the night. Would that work for you? If you do the church reception, maybe most church members that aren’t close to you two wouldn’t come to the dinner/dancing portion. Or you could put it on the invitation like:

    Church reception to follow immediately.

    Dinner and Dancing at 7 in the evening (or whenever).

    Then they could choose to abstain.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    It’s your wedding, you should be able to dance if you want to! Like you said, if they don’t like it they don’t have to stay. I’m Jewish and I’ve attended many weddings with ceremonies that include religious aspects that I don’t agree with. But I know it’s their thing, it makes the bride and groom happy, so who am I to judge or say it’s wrong?

    Post # 8
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m a part of a Methodist church.  We like to dance, and it isn’t frowned upon, but at one of my friend’s weddings the man she married was a part of a family who had been Amish or Mennonite… very strict in their position at dancing.  She let her fiance know that she had always dreamed of dancing at her wedding, and sharing a father/daughter dance with her Dad.  They decided to have dancing.  It was low key… and fun!  Her husband is a really nice guy, and they didn’t want to offend the relatives who were in the Amish community, and I don’t think they did… So I hope you have fun at your special day!  (You may want to have your FMIL do a little sharing with her friend’s at your church to let them know that dancing is and has been a special part of your family celebrations.)  That way they will know that you are going to dance. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I grew up in the Church of Christ, and all of my family members are against dancing. It would have made them very uncomfortable and I didn’t want them to feel that way at my wedding, so we had a brunch reception and a separate party for dancing later that night. It worked out well for us. However, I don’t get the impression that any of your close family members subscribe to this belief – just your church. In that case, if I were you, I would just not invite your church except maybe a few close friends that you attend with, and tell everyone its a small family wedding. If the people you are especially close to won’t mind, I would go for the dancing!

    Post # 10
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’m Church of Christ too — grew up that way and still attend regularly, becuase I just like it. Married a Methodist but we both like the COC place better than the Methodist, so that’s where we go.

    We did not have dancing at our weddnig — older family members would have been offended, but that’s not why we didn’t have it. I just wanted an early wedding (2:30pm) and to get out of there by 5 or so from the reception, so we could enjoy our evening together and not be exhausted from wedding/reception craziness!

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