Post # 1
Regular bee going anon because I worry about my SIL ever tracking me down on here haha.
recently I have really realized that my FSIL is going to be a huge issue and weight to bear in my life… For the rest of my life. I am honestly convinced there is something wrong with her- narcissistic personality disorder with a dab of sociopathy if I had to put money on it. i really have never met anyone like her.
She is alternately obsessed with a guy she’s been with for 7 years, cheating on him or breaking up with him (including breaking off their engagement last month for a fling with a guy in his teens that lasted a week). I’ve seen her hold hands with her best friend’s boyfriend.
She has sex but constantly proclaims she is a virgin. this is not me being judgmental about what she actually does, I just hate seeing her go out of her way to lie about something that’s nobody’s business anyway.
i have a great relationship with the rest of my in laws and she constantly tries to sabotage it. She also used to insert herself between me and my fiancé but we put a stop to that real quick.
She seeks out sexual attention from male family members. It is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. She will pull up her bathing suit bottoms like they’re a thong and stick her butt out at her dad and brothers. She’ll also walk up to them and shake her boobs in their face and laugh.
She is so selfish. Her mom suffered a terrible miscarriage at 23 weeks with a little girl a long time ago. Once while discussing it, my FSIL goes, “well, I guess I was meant to be the only girl in this family!”
She takes any event that’s about anyone else and causes a huge dramatic scene. Every. Time. Like at my bridal shower today. Ive honestly just come to expect it.
So, here’s the challenge: make me feel good about having my FSIL. Tell me all your stories! I am so frustrated and just feeling the need to commiserate.
Post # 2
Honestly she sounds like she may need mental help which it seems like no one is offering her. Thankfully I have never had an issue with my SIL. She lives 5 hours away so we don’t interact much.
Post # 3
anonymousfornow: I have two. One is AWESOME! The other one SUCKS ASS…
I’ll just leave it at that lol
Post # 4
I can tell you my FSIL’s stories. Only 2 so far, thank goodness.
I’ve known her and my fiance since we were all kids. FI and I have been together for 7 years. Everyone knew the engagement was coming which it did on May 17th of this year. We had dinner at his folks house the next day and she was there with her longterm BF. She looks at my ring and says “Wow, that ring is UGLY. Surely my brother didn’t choose that one.” implying of course that I picked out my own ring and made FI pay for it (nothing wrong with that IMO) I very quickly said that I had narrowed it down to three options and FI picked from those three because he wanted me to love my ring & for it to suit my style and the one I ended up with had actually been his favorite. She then launched into a diatribe about how unethical diamonds were and how glad she was that her BF would never get her a diamond.
A month later she texted me and said “You and my brother cannot get married in 2015. That’s when my BF and I are planning to be married.” Keep in mind he has not proposed yet & that they’ve had a rocky last 2 years (cheating, lying etc) I flat out told her that we had already picked our date and we were not going to change it.
We have always gotten along. Even when we were all kids so I was flabbergasted to hear her freak out this time. Especially since I am planning for her to be my BM if she’s up for it (She’s painfully shy) She’s younger than my FI by 3.5 years so the whole “oldest sibling must be married first” wouldn’t apply here.
Post # 5
anonymousfornow: I really fail to see why she is such a weight to bear and a huge issue to you personally? Nothing you mention her doing really affects you? Who cares if she holds hands with her friends boyfriend or claims she is a virgin? Does it really matter? Sounds like you just don’t like her and are looking for excuses to justify that.
Post # 6
anonymousfornow: Yikes! She sounds cray cray. What did she do at your bridal shower?
Post # 7
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
the SIL and I are basically the same person. no clue how you cope with that lunatic sorry
Post # 8
My FSIL and I don’t interact that often, only at family functions and corresponding for the wedding (we are including our sibling in the bridal party). However, she is also slightly narcissistic and is extremely dramatic. She is 22 so a bit younger than FI and I and for some reason thinks I lack intelligence. There have been quite a few times where she has made remarks that are offensive or rude, and I have simply brushed them off. The best one would have to be when we were having a holiday dinner, afterwards everyone was hanging out chatting and I wandered up to the veggie tray, I was debating on eating more and she asked what I was doing. I said, “Oh, just deciding on whether to go with the carrot or the broccoli.” She responded with, “Oh, haha, you are so simple-minded.” I wanted to smack her upside the head with the tray.
Thankfully, my FI and his sister aren’t that close so I really don’t have to deal with her that often. I am a pretty passive person but if I had to interact with her more, I doubt I would be able to keep my mouth shut.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - Stillwell House
Let’s see… my SIL… got pregnant to trap my brother. Bore a child with half a lung. Kept the child and my brother from my side of the family with excuses that were so transparent and bullsh*t — oh, we cant come visit this weekend as your daughter has the sniffles and we dont want the baby catching a cold but the next day they take their baby to a 60+ member family reunion for her side of the family. Cant bring the baby to my parents house because they live in a condo with no basement and they are concerned about moisture/mustiness but it is okay to stop in the adjoining condo for a birthday party with her coworker’s kids. Years of this.
Skip ahead a few years. Their second child diagnosed with cancer. My brother diagnosed with Stage 4 inoperable lung cancer and given a year to live. Who do you think got to quit her job to stay home with the child? Her family has an empty farmhouse 30 mins. from my brother’s home. We urged my brother to enjoy his kids with the time left, to quit his full time job and let their new home go, and just move into the empty farmhouse. That’s right, my brother worked the next two years until about the month before his death.
I cant tell you how furious I am with her, and with him, for letting it all happen. My parents never had a relationship with the grand babies… never an overnight, and only one single afternoon with the older child. Passed over for invites to the destination wedding and 8 hour drive from us (her sisters and parents were in attendance). Not a single person on our side of the family was invited. In the memorial service for the grandbaby that died, not a single photo of that child with a member of our family during the slideshow. I spoke to my brother two days before he died – but I had not spoken to him for the 8 years leading up to it because my phone calls and emails had gone unreturned — they shared an email account, I might mention. My brother was not there when our father died at the begining of those 8 years and all of this has torn at our clinically depressed mother for the duration of their relationship.
My brother was so close to my parents all the years until she came into the picture.
Post # 10
I hate to say it but you got me beat. She sounds like a true…character. Hahaha. As long as you and your fiance keep some humor about it I’m sure you’ll be fine.
My FSIL and I could not be more different. She is a big tomboy and super young for her age. I say that like I’m remotely girly so let me give you some context. I wore boys clothes up through middle school, played every sport there was, sat with the boys in elementary school/played with them at recess….I was the stereotypical tomboy and loved every second of it. There came a time when I began to like boys so I tried a little harder and I guess that’s when my “girliness” started kicking in but I am still a bit of one today. So you’d think we’d hit it off and love each other. Nope.
She is going to be a senior in highschool and if I even say the word makeup she looks at me like I am the devil. Hahaha, I am laughing as I type this because at first it bothered me but now I have come to realize how funny it all is and just take it all with a grain of salt. I knew I had to ask her to be a bridesmaid (etiquette) and when I planned this cute thing and did she took a mili second to look up and said “so do I have to do the stuff like wear a dress?” Welp, preferably but if you can’t totally okay too. I have a pretty good lesbian-dar from playing basketball all the way through college so I was 100% convinced she was (which I actually thought we could bond about because I’d be 100% supportive and by far the most understanding of everyone in the fam) but now she has a very bizarre boyfriend. I’m still convinced though.
Since she only has brothers I always try to talk to her about things she wouldn’t want to bring up with her brothers or her parents (the in laws are pretty intense.) Failure. I am an outgoing person and sometimes we can be in a room for an hour and I’m asking her all these nice questions and making jokes and she will not look up from texting on her phone once. She is OBSESSED with her brother (my fiance) however so she will be much nicer to me around him. Overall, she is just very anti-social and cold…which is kinda the opposite of me so we definitely will never have that bond. But we don’t have anything negative against each other either which is why I can’t fully complain. I’ve told myself to not get annoyed on my wedding day when she’s off in the corner b****ing about having to get her hair done, making sly remarks about why alcohol or champagne is so “stupid” and be on her phone texting the entire time while all the other bridesmaids and myself are having such a fun time but it’s inevitable and I figure if I go in knowing it’ll happen I can only be happily surprised!
Post # 11
Hellish88: Omgoodness, that’s really heartbreaking. I’m so sorry.
Post # 12
j_jaye: I refrained from narrating 5 full years of stories for your sake and just put the top annoying and infuriating things about her lol. I also put that she tries to come between me and my fiancé and me and my in laws so not sure how you missed that. If you want more stories here ya go. She has:
1. Yelled at me at Disney world in public because i offered her my fastpass.
2. During one of her breakups, I invited her to spend the night at my and my sister’s apartment for a fun girls night and she ended up staying 5 days uninvited. When she got home to her family’s house (she’s 23 and not moved out) she bad mouthed us and said we made her do lots of chores?!?!?!?! (Um. We didn’t.)
3. Found her downtown drunk one night in an upsetting situation with one of her friends. Should have known better because of #2, but I had pity on her and asked her If she wanted to stay over. We had company so we had 7 people staying in our apartment- I made her a bed with a mat and lots of pillows and blankets on the floor. The next day I had 6 missed calls from her in a row. Called her back and she informed me that her mother was very upset that she was made to sleep on the floor.
4. She is always arguing with me about stuff she is wrong about. Like telling me she has major anemia when she actually has high iron for a girl based on her levels (14!! For anyone that knows hg levels lol)
5. Stuff like her cheating and holding other guys hands is particularly infuriating because she will do it and then get lots of people involved to “protect her” afterwards like the guy did something. My fiancé almost got in a fist fight over her once because she created a situation and I could have killed her.
6. Extension of #5. Last year on a trip we were in a restaurant and she reaches her hand across the table and holds hands with my fiancé. Then says: “there’s a man that keeps checking me out. I’m going to squeeze your hand every time he looks at me so that you can turn around and look at him and intimidate him.” ??? My fiancé was like um no.
7. She’s his only sister so she’s a bridesmaid. i let my BMs pick out their own dresses but wanted to see them first obviously to coordinate them (I explicitly asked to see them). She ordered hers without showing me and apparently has no pics of it. Wedding’s in two months and still haven’t seen it.
If you said this bs wouldn’t bother you, I won’t believe you.
Post # 13
TunaCat29: oh my gosh!! That sounds like a textbook case of JEALOUSY! I cant believe she told you your ring was ugly!!!
Post # 14
morningcoffee: at the end of it, my fiancé came up to see me and there were still a couple guests there. My fiancé accodentally used dish soap on his hands and she said “that’s not hand soap that’s dish soap” literally FOUR TIMES. The last time was when he had already finished washing and drying his hands! He turned around and goes I KNOW I heard you the first three times!!! She got all upset, left and said she was walking to her house. Told her mom and her mom made my fiancé apologize in front of everyone (I fully realize that this is an issue with my parents in law and sometimes even my fiancé too. They have grown up learning to cater to her and I’m not sure how it started). She just ALWAYS makes everything about herself.
Post # 15
MrsClumsy: oh my gosh!! How rude!!!