Post # 1
Hi hive —
Need some ceremony-related advice. My fiance and I are considering getting married in a state that has relatively long waiting period for a marriage license, and also won’t allow for us to have a friend serve as an officiant for us. We would rather have a ceremony that is a community affair, and doesn’t involve either a religious leader or civic official — picture something like a Quaker wedding. For this reason, we are considering going to the courthouse and getting married in our home state on the Friday before our Sunday wedding. Basically, we would get married then immediately fly out for our wedding ceremony, which would be the much more personal exchange of vows before friends and family, or, in our minds, the “real wedding”.
What do you think? Has anyone done this? If we do it, how do we tell our guests… or do we just go ahead and do our ceremony as we have planned?
Post # 3
My husband and I got married by a judge. We’re having our real wedding next year with a registry and all of that. (We’ve got nothing! LOL) Go for it. Do what makes you both happiest.
Post # 4
Nobody needs to know, if you consider the exchange of vows and the public ceremony your ‘real’ ceremony, the other stuff is just a formality. I’ve done the courthouse wedding thing before and it’s not a big deal. To make it even less of a big deal, just have a magistrate do it, don’t even bother with the courtroom or anything like that. I say go for it.
Post # 5
it happens a lot. I work in marriage licensing and I see it all the time. Just make sure you make an appointment with th judge. In Columbus, Ohio, the court is usually booked for two months!
Post # 7
i’m doing this! my “wedding state” wants blood tests and it’s fuzzy as to whether they’ll let our friend marry us. our “home state” wants $40 at the courthouse. DONE.
we’re telling our parents and the bridal party. i don’t care if others find out, but i’m certainly not announcing it to anyone. we’re planning on considering “wedding day” our anniversary date and as far as i’m concerned, that is our wedding. we’re just signing some papers a little early.
Post # 8
I’m getting married at the courthouse before my Mexican DW. The red tape around getting married legally in Mexico is kind of crappy (blood test, minimum days spent in country prior to wedding, etc) plus you have all sorts of hoops to jump through to get your licence made legal in Ontario. And you have all sorts of extra costs involved.
Also, I am getting married in Ontario, and then legally changing my name right after, before moving to Quebec so I can take my FH last name. (in Quebec you are not allowed to take your hubs last name), so a courthouse wedding helps with this process too.