Post # 1
This is my first time posting in a site like this but here goes.
My SO asked me to marry him last year and let’s just say I had always dreamed of a nice engagement/wedding (not over the top but still). He said we were going to dinner but before we went he popped the question at our house. Don’t get me wrong I love him to bits but he’s not really into the whole romance thing (though he can be sweet at times and is very loyal to me).
I talk to a close relative in USA about our circumstances (we don’t have jobs, he’s in uni and I’m trying to get into a business degree) and she suggested to move to USA so we both can have a better oppurtunity in education and jobs (that and I get to see all the family I haven’t been able to visit in person since I was 4 years old).
We’ve rung the embassy here to see what we’d need to do and they said my SO and I will need to be married beforehand.
So my SO said “why don’t we just have a civil union, forget the wedding idea?”
To be honest I was pretty upset that he suggested civil union. I know we don’t have the funds even close to having a wedding (even a simple one) but I just wanted to be a little greedy this once.
Sure it would be the quickest method but it seems like it was rushed so we could move and I don’t know how to feel about it. My grandmother isn’t in the best of health so I don’t want to wait to go there too long.
Should I just agree to the civil and get over my greed for a wedding?
Post # 3
Is there anyway you could have the civil union now, and then in a few years when you have money renew your vows/have a big ceremony and reception?
Post # 4
I don’t know if it will feel the same but I think that’s a very good option though. Thank you for the time to help me. 🙂
Post # 5
Are you actually in Australia? From what I hear Australian university is heavily subsidized, and the US university is very expensive, so I don’t know how much better opportunity there is there.
You could certainly have a small wedding before you go. We had a 15 person rehearsal/rehearsal dinner, and honestly as much as I loved my larger wedding, when I looked around at the group that was assembled for our rehearsal BBQ, I could have been perfectly happy with that being our wedding (maybe plus a handful of people).
Post # 6
I don’t know that moving to the US is going to help you. As a PP said, universities here are expensive. In addition, the job situation here is dismal. Lots of people who already have degrees can’t get jobs.
Post # 7
I really think you need to look into this decision a bit more.
The visa situation that you will go through takes A LONG time! And you can’t get permanent residency until you have been here for years and spent thousands of dollars.
I am currently a non-resident alien of the US (I am Canadian); however, I moved here for a job (I have a PhD) and they are paying for all the legal visa stuff for myself and my husband.
University is subsidized in Canada and I believe it is similar in Oz, don’t jepordize that! I am not sure about Uni here or not but I believe you will have to pay foreign tuition fees as a non-resident alien as well so tuition would be RIDICULOUS!
It may seem like the grass is greener, but I would definitely do A LOT of research before moving countries to make sure it is the right decision for you.
To be completely honest the move down here has been hard – there are differences and things that cost $$$ that you don’t think about around every corner (I have only been here for 1.5 months). And you wouldn’t think it would be that different between Canada and the US.
Anyway, please do your research! I think the civil union vs. wedding should be the least of your worries at this point!