(Closed) Clash of the wedding Dates

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

I guess I just have a different take on the situation but I feel like this could still work okay.  You get the advantage because your wedding is happening first!  By the time it gets to her wedding, everyone will be wedding-ed out.

Post # 5
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

It sounds like you’re handling it exactly right, honestly.  Have your FI talk to her and find out how serious she is.  June is the most popular month for weddings, and some vendors hike up their prices, so if you do decide to switch, you at least have that going for you.

 

Honestly this is one of those things that really surprises me every time I read about it.  There are loads of posts on here with people who choose to have their wedding the same month as  their siblings and every time I just think "I can’t believe this happens to people!"  It’s definitely rude of her, but she is the one who looks bad…

Post # 6
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I agree, I would go ahead with your planned date and not mention anything to FSIL. If she’s that undecided anyways she may change her date on a whim & then you’d regret not sticking to your original date.

Post # 7
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m confused as to why she would want to get married the same weekend when her other brother is graduating from high school. That sounds even more bizarre to me… or did I misunderstand?

Grin and bear it, IMO. I think if it is that important to you, then surely having  you FI talk to her would be helpful but I don’t think it will be the end of the world.

And I think its only reasonable on her part to hope/anticipate her parents contributing to her wedding even if they are contributing to yours. After all they are her parents and traditionally the bride’s parents used to host the wedding some people still expect $ from that side of the family.

Also, will you both be having a lot of the same guests… specifically from out of town? Maybe explaning to her that it will be a challenge for guests to travel to both might be something that will make her see it from another perspective…

Post # 8
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Beyond the fact that it would "steal your thunder" to some degree, I would feel bad for the family that is now expected to attend and pay for TWO weddings! You announce your wedding and everyone gets excited then, lo and behold, your fSIL announces that hers is two weeks later?? I wouldn’t have the guts to pull a stunt like that!

I agree with Amandopolis, it’s amazing the number of times this seems to happen to brides. Sometimes it makes me wonder if there’s some jealousy going on. One sibling sees all the attention her sister is getting and does whatever she can to steal the spotlight.

I think you’re handling it the best way you can. But if you’re concerned that sharing your true feelings with your fSIL might encourage her to stick to her guns then maybe do the opposite…hint around that you guys are considering moving your date — maybe even mention the cost savings angle. Who knows, she might change her plans just to keep up with you! 😉

Good luck!

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