Post # 1
So DH and I have our first clashing of plans this weekend as a married couple.
Old co-workers/friends of mine are getting together this Friday for supper and asked DH and I to join them last week. Low and behold, at apparently the same time, a mutual friend that just got engaged last week, asked if we wanted to come over for a drink and hang out. AND, now one of DH’s cousin has asked him to hang out, since it’ll probably be his last free night before his new baby comes along.
This is definitely nothing new for DH. He always seems to have more then one person ask him to hang out at any given time. But I’m stuck. We were asked as a couple by both parties (except for his cousin) and I know DH would MUCH rather hang out with his friends then mine so he definitely will not come out for supper, ESPECIALLY if he decides to spend the evening with his cousin. I’m not sure where to go with this.. I guess going to seperate events by ourselves would be the easiest answer, but it kind of rubs me the wrong way? This would all be so much easier if we didn’t already have plans for Saturday night with ANOTHER couple… sigh.
Bees, what would you usually do in this situation? How would you handle it with your DH? Is it in your norm to go your separate ways if there’s conflicting friends and dates?
Post # 3
I don’t see a problem with splitting up every once in a while. Obviously sometimes one of you will have scheduling conflicts, but I don’t think that should stop the other from hanging out with friends.
Post # 4
@msfahrenheit: Neither do I, actually. But with this particular instance, I’m close with this couple as well (the to-be groom is actually my cousin) and I’d feel real bad if DH went to give them best wishes and celebrate with them without me. Maybe it’d be best if we scheduled another night with them?
Post # 5
@CherryWaves: You could try to reschedule with the couple, and go hang out with your friends while your DH hangs out with his cousin, especially since his cousin’s baby is coming soon. Does that sound agreeable?
Hope it works out! 🙂
Post # 6
This definitely won’t be the first time that this happens, and while I am NOT an advocate of “keeping score” in marriage, I think perhaps it might not hurt to discuss with your DH how maybe you could “alternate” whose friends you hang out with when conflicts like this arise.
Post # 7
I agree with a PP who said to reschedule with the newly engaged couple then split off and meet the other two.
Post # 8
Is it possible you could have dinner with your old friends, then leave early so he could get together with his cousin? Reschedule with the friend who just got engged.
Post # 9
We split ways all the time – it’s not ideal, but it happens and I’m not bothered by it.
IF you aren’t ok with it – there’s nothing wrong with telling the other two couples that you have plans, would love to see them, and make a date for a later time.