Post # 1
SO to give a quick background story, my fiance is british and his best friend from childhood was supposed to be his best man. Then around november he got a message from him that he and his gf werent going to be able to come out for it because they couldnt afford it. mind you that was in november.. well yesterday I was on facebook just looking around and his gf came up on my news feed and her status was this : “Flights booked for spain in august!” (our wedding is in august) My jaw dropped and I shut my computer because I didnt want to upset my fiance. Well he forced open my computer and looked and was upset but in the sense like hes done with their friendship. I on the other hand am livid and shocked that they have the audacity to post that on facebook!! Just wanted to vent because I am soo annoyed!
Post # 4
wow that’s so rude. I would definitely be upset too! I understand everyone has a right to spend their own money on whatever they want, but if your best friend asks you to be in their wedding, you dont say no and go on a different trip instead. Not cool!
Post # 5
What the hey! Why are people so hurtful?
Post # 6
i’m mostly upset by the lie
Post # 7
@Mrs.Williams: Wow! Why didn’t they just tell you they had plans in the first place!? I’m a bitch so I would be like “Wow! I hope the plane tickets to Spain were cheaper than the ones to CT! har har har.” ^_^
Post # 8
Don’t forget that flights from Britain to Spain are uber cheap compared to coming to the US.
Maybe they really can’t afford to come to the wedding?
Post # 9
@Miss Tattoo: that is EXACTLY what I would have done =)
Post # 10
Wouldn’t tickets to Spain actually be cheaper for someone in England, compared to a trans-Atlantic flight to your US wedding? I think that’s kind of a legitimate argument.
I am sorry you are going through this, though we say it over and over around here — our weddings are not as important to anyone else as they are to us. I doubt they are intentionally trying to hurt you, and hey, if I were going on vacation, I’d probably tell Facebook. It’s not like they should completely censor their lives to tiptoe around you. Also, if the tickets to your wedding were too expensive, they wouldn’t have had plans for August, so why SHOULDN’T they go on vacation if they can afford it? Not being able to afford going to your wedding is not the same as not being able to afford to go anywhere. They shouldn’t be expected to do nothing or fear hurting you. I think your FI should take a deep breath about the state of his friendship, and you guys should probably talk about it before grudges develop. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and if they did intentionally deceive you about their vacation plans, that’s up to you to decide whether the friendship is worth forgiving them. But who knows, it may be closer to the alternate scenario that I suggested, and then, no one is really doing anything wrong or worth warring over.
Post # 11
I hate that 🙁
I’ve had friends that have told me one thing, and then done another. I mean, it seems like if they really couldn’t afford certain aspects of the wedding that they would at least talk to you about it first, letting you and your FI know that they have some money, but maybe not necessarily enough for the wedding. I’m not sure…but only you guys know your friendship and who they really are. I completely understand how it upset you guys though. I would feel the same way. I would feel betrayed, but maybe you guys should talk. Have your FI call him and tell him that he saw his GF’s FB status update and that he’s hurt that he couldn’t afford to come to their wedding, but yet they can afford to go on a vacation.
I hope that it all gets worked out between your friends. But regardless – everything happens for a reason and it will ALWAYS work out in the end.
Post # 12
I’de be absolutely pissed if I saw that. I’de probably do just what MissTattoo suggested but I’m snarky like that.
Post # 13
@Lees4308: I have to respectfully disagree with this part: “letting you and your FI know that they have some money, but maybe not necessarily enough for the wedding.”
A wedding is not an excuse to pry into your friends’ finances. They said they couldn’t afford it; it’s not up to the bride to decide if they could or should have or what else they can afford. It’s no one’s business but the friends if they have “some money.” I think it’s already assumed that they have “some money” or they wouldn’t have been expected to go to the wedding in the first place; the exact definition of “some money” should be irrelevant.
Post # 14
While everyone has the right to spend their money the way they choose.. its unfair for them to be sneaky about that. I know our weddings are more important to us than anyone else, but you’d think the people we’re closest to would want to be there for us, even if it means not going to spain until next year… i would definitely be upset
Post # 15
Trust me I know that flights from England to Spain are cheaper than coming here, but the money they spent on that trip for the flights plus any money the spend on the hotel/going out/anything they could have put towards coming here. I know money is an issue and I’m not expecting anyone to stop their lives for us. But they have been best friends for years. since they were 11 and they are 29 this year. He could have just come without his gf, our other best friend from england who is now the best man is coming for the weekend without his fiance just so he can afford to come. Its just the effort. I mean its just shocking that they would turn around and go. Just unlike them to pull this, or I thought. I mean they could have said something that they were going away I mean think long and hard how you would feel if this happened to you. I mean until we talk (if we do) we cant know the whole story.
Thanks for all the love.
@Miss Tattoo: I wanted to comment and say “have a nice trip!” totally my style to say something obnoxious haha
Post # 16
@Amaryllis: I was just saying that they should have been honest from the beginning.