Post # 1
My finances mom is lovely and is nice to my face. But a few things bother me.
she looks me up and down when I’m sitting next to my fiance. I get dirty looks if he holds my hand.
she texts him a million times a day.
the other day he HAD to take her the airport even though her husband was there to take her (me and my fi live quite a bit away) he has a sister and his mother really favours him over her.
he wants us to visit all the time. I feel like I’m in a relationship with his parents aswell. As much as I love them, we’re older now and don’t think we should have to.
she never let my fiance do anything for himself growing up. (Washing. Ironing. Cooking)
the other day she had at my fiancé for buying me a new engagement ring (how is that anything to do with her?) FI also said to me before hand that he wouldn’t tell her because he was worried about what she’d say. So she must have been having a good ol’ stalk of my Facebook To find out.
He isn’t a massive mamas boy or anything. I just find some of the things she does a bit odd. She treats him like a child and I feel like she kind of resents me for “taking him away”
i don’t really know how to bring it up with him. i don’t want him to think I hate her because I dont. certain aspects of her behaviour make me so uncofortable though.
Advice please bees?
Post # 3
@debbieotoole: I am in the same situation. Some mothers are afraid to let their sons go. My husband is in a tough place- he loves his wife and loves his mom too.
Your fiance will have to stand up for you and put some boundries down with his mother if the marriage is going to last. She is over stepping her boundries and the reason the son has to step in and not the wife as it will make the hurt feelings on his mother side less of an issue since her son is the one to talk to her about it. They are less likely to flare up if their pride and joy has requested vs the “evi” lady who took her son away.
It is important that you expess to your fiance your needs- it is fine to need space and nec. for your sanity. That is the mothers problem if she is offended- she will learn over a long period of time that things are different and that is just the way life is. Stick to your needs and be assertive in tellling your fiance you need boundries set up.
Post # 4
Tell your FI “I like your mother a lot but I don’t like some of her habits. Let’s do what we can to minimize those habits. They make me uncomfortable.” Also– BOUNDARIES! She should not have access to your facebook accounts if she uses that facebook friendship for evil.
Your FI should also practice the following line, “Sorry mom, but that’s between debbieotoole and me.”