- 3 years ago
I am in a bridal party of 5 other bridesmaids. One of the bridesmaids lives far away and is planning her own wedding, so she hasn’t been super involved, and another is a junior bridesmaid who is only 14. The other three girls are part of a close-knit clique who work together and who have known each other for years. The seem to be making a lot of group decisions to benefit only them and leave me hanging, and also seem to want to prove that they’re better friends of the bride and that they will take care of her (when, actually, I’m probably the closest friend of the bride of the group).
For example, one of them was responsible for logistics surrounding the bachelorette party, while I focused on the “fun” details such as the accessories, treats for the room, scavenger hunt, crafts, etc. She booked one hotel room in Atlantic City so that we’d have somewhere to sleep since hotel costs were rising (and very expensive $800+ per room), which I completely understand and don’t take issue with at all. The thing that is bothering me, however, is that she automatically claimed the beds in that room for her, her clique, and the bride, leaving me hanging. I may or may not be able to get a room, depending on if others show up or not. When I asked her if I could sleep on an air matress in the room if I wasn’t able to get another room, she made a big deal about it, saying that there might not be room, and that it wouldn’t be comfortable for them. She said she chose the other girls and not me because they are HER closest friends & the people that SHE wanted to spend the weekend with. In other words, I’m not in the clique, so I might get the air mattress or stuck with no room at all. And shouldn’t it be about who the BRIDE wants in the room, not who SHE wants in the room? I feel disrespected by the clique and, since there are three of them, they can wield their power to make sure they are covered, even if it puts me in a difficult position. I never had a chance to discuss the sleeping situation with them, they just decided I’d be on the floor or somewhere else. I would have gladly volunteered to take the floor, but the point its that what they did came off as pretty selfish, and in the best interest of their group, not the larger group, and not even the bride.
I spoke with the bride about it, and she told me the intention was just to book A ROOM so we had something, and she didn’t care if we all slept on top of each other. She didn’t mention anything about my being singled out as the person who has to sleep on the floor or deal with the uncertainty of the second room situation, while the bridesmaid in the clique made it pretty clear that she wanted only her clique to sleep in that room.
Am I being too sensitive to feel singled out and left out in this situation? I will, of course, be civil to the clique, but I don’t feel the need to go out of my way to include them in any decisions I make that could affect the group now. What do you think?