- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
My apologies if this is a bit long. I’m annoyed and uncomfortable and would like your opinions 🙂
Since a few weeks after we got engaged, my coworkers have been fishing for invitations. One flat-out said “I better be invited!” though, she quickly realized how awkward that was and retracted it to “Well, I want to see pictures, at least!” without me saying anything. I bring my fiance to work functions when approriate, or on the RARE occasion that I go out with them, but I never talk about the wedding unless they ask, in which case I give a vague and simple answer, then change the topic. Obvious, right?
Orrrr not. My boss recently said that if my coworkers were invited to the wedding, they would extend their contracts in the company to stay on for another two months so they would be here for the wedding (we’re all “Americans” working in another country). She apparently told them not to get their hopes up, as it’s a small wedding in a somewhat remote location, but HOW COOL WOULD IT BE if they were all invited?! To which my newest coworker apparently said “I probably don’t know her well enough to get invited :(” and my boss replied “there’s still time!” As boss-lady reported all this to me and I was just laughed and smiled awkardly thinking “what am I supposed to do with this information?” Since then, the two “older” coworkers have made a few inquiries about the wedding and half-jokingly volunteered their services, etc. I always laugh, smile, and make some kind of joke, but give no information or response.
As uncomfortable as it is, I’d just ignore it if it weren’t for how cliquey these people are, and how ODD this all is to me. One woman has repeatedly rolled her eyes at me & my fiance if we kiss (a peck, not a tongue massage) at a social event. Several weeks ago there was a carnival in our town and my coworkers asked if I was going, because they were, to which I said “Yes. Text me when you decide to go.” Around 9 I texted my boss and she replied “We’re all already here!” Soooo they asked if I was going, then went without me. Whatever. She told me where they were and we met up with them for about an hour, then went off to see other friend. The following weekend my fiance and I saw my boss and her entire staff (granted, 4 people, but whatever) there… I was never invited. They used to invite me out, but the girl whose the “organizer” of the group these days is the eyeroller, so that stopped happening. They now routinely do things without inviting me, which wouldn’t bother me (not like I exactly adore any of them), except that they’re kind of pushy and awkward about being invited to our intimate (30-person) wedding. What the hell? You won’t invite me to the bar on Saturday night, but I should invite you to share in the happiest day of my life?
Does this seem annoying and rude to anyone else? Ever been in a simular situation? I don’t want to damage office relationships, especially with my boss, who is usually super nice and cool (except for this issue!), but I don’t really know how to respond. Awkward silence, nervous laughter, and “it’s at XYZ tiny location and fiance has a huge immediate family (truth!) haven’t been successful strategies so far. Is there a way to be blunt without being terribly rude?