Close Family not coming- 2 days before wedding

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you and yeah, it totally sux when family let you down, especially at the last minute! It’s pretty horrible that most of them didn’t give you a reason too: honestly, sometimes people are so self-absorbed and self-centered that they don’t stop to think of others.

I would try to put it out of your mind (hard to do, I know), focus on those who are coming, and write a mental note for the future to quietly remove these people from your life (except for those who had the legit excuse), as if your wedding isn’t important to them then they’re not worth wasting your energy on. Perhaps do something nice for your dad too: mention him specially in the speech or ask him to help you choose a song for the “father-daughter” dance? But at the end of the day, it’s THEM who disappointed him and not you, so you can only be there for and support him.

Post # 4
62 posts
Worker bee

I know its difficult, but you just never know why people can’t attend.  Your great grandmother and grandmother are, I’m sure, elderly and maybe even a 2 1/2 hr drive is too much for them.  Any one of those people could be feeling under the weather and don’t want to show up sick and be a downer on your wedding day.  Please try to be understanding.  You don’t want to be that person who gets angry at them only to find out later that it was some terrible, sad reason why they couldn’t make it.

I would call them and tell them you’ll miss them greatly, and then make plans to visit with all of them after the wedding.  It doesn’t make it hurt less that they can’t attend, but if they matter to you, then you’ll make an effort to see them regardless of a wedding happening in your life.  I hope everything works out in the end!

Post # 5
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@TinaJade:  +1

Yep.  I’d be majorly hurt too, especially by the last minute/no excuse crap.  And that’s exactly what it is- crap.  Which… this is family.  If they can’t tell you why they can’t come, what could it possibly be?

The only reason I can think of is lack of money, because you mentioned sending money to them so they can eat.  But even then, my guess is that if they couldn’t afford a tank of gas, your dad would be willing to help them out.

OP, there isn’t anything you can do now but support your dad.  I like the idea of making a special mention for him.

My vindictive side also says that when your grandmother and other relatives don’t show up, their going to look quite the fools, especially with your special homage to your relatives who have passed away.  As in clearly, you care for them to make a memorial at your wedding, but they don’t seem to care for you to actually show up.

Post # 6
6633 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am sorry that this is happening, however it is better to know this now instead the day of. My brother texted me, yes thats right. Texted me on the day of the wedding while was taking pictures saying he couldn’t make it to my wedding…

Post # 8
5 posts
  • Wedding: March 2011

Horrible!!  But don’t add to your fathers pain by adding your emotions to it. If you fall apart over it so will your dear dad.  The memory table is there to honor the lost.  It’s not there for your grandparents.  Put a smile on your face and concentrate on who DID show up. Give your guests lots of love and attention and make this the most joyous wedding ever!!!

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