(Closed) Close friend overbooked and can’t attend my wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

vent away and i would try to let it go.  i feel her dads 80th birthday trumps a friends wedding, im sorry but thats the truth

Post # 4
Member
14311 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sort of sounds like that is just the way she is, and accepting her as a friend is part of that imo.  Can she opt not to go on the family vacation even though its booked.  Another thing is, would she have not gone to her dad’s 80th bday cruise vacation to go to the wedding even if she did know?  If her family just went ahead and booked, I cant imagine her entire family would move the vacatino for your wedding that only she would be attending.   I think it totally sucks, but I wouldnt lose a friendship over this incident, but I dont know that I could stand such flaky friends to begin with.

Post # 5
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with @eloping: it sucks, definitely, but it’s not soemthing to lose a friendship over.  It’s bad on her part, but at least she has a good reason to be somewhere. it’s a monumental birthday

Post # 6
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@eloping:  i agree. it stinks that she’s not going to be there, but maybe she really wants to be there for her dad’s 80th, too; i think it would be hard to choose.

Post # 6
Member
46154 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She’s your flaky friend so somehow this comes as no surprise to me. Even if she had remembered the date of your wedding she would still have been in a conflict re her grandfather’s birthday cruise.

Unfortunately, none of us will have everyone we want attend our wedding.

Post # 8
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@siegeli:  I guess it must feel really bad that a close friend will not be there on your day I would feel upset too, I hope you can work things out

Post # 10
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

eeeww..I’d just say “okay”…and that’s it…I do have friends like this, I will neither shun them forever nor make them feel like it’s okay to be such a flake. 

Post # 11
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I’m sorry that she won’t be able to make it to your wedding.  She should’ve checked the dates first but even then it’d have been hard for her to decide between going to her close friend’s wedding or her dad’s b-day.  

Post # 12
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It is disappointing she will not be there on your wedding.  However, even if she wasn’t so “flaky” it would have been a difficult choice either way.  Her father is turning 80, how many more milestone birthdays will he have? She shouldn’t have to feel bad about it now and in the future.  

Post # 14
Member
491 posts
Helper bee

Sorry in advance if this sounds harsh. 

Even if you are close with her family, it seems kind of bridzilla of me to expect her whole family to change the date of the cruise for your wedding if she was the only one invited. 

It sucks, I’m sorry she wont be there, but you’ve known her to be a flaky friend so you’ve kind of got to accept it at this point. You are the one getting married in April, it doesn’t have to be the first thing anyone thinks about when the think about April. 

 

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