Post # 1
New bee, long time lurker but I finally need to vent. He has had the ring coming up on 1 year. 1 year with the ring somewhere in the house. I’m starting to get offended. I see a lot of threads describing how “he couldn’t wait” to propose once he had the ring. Any bee’s waiting with the ring in the house for an extended period of time?
Post # 3
This didn’t happen to me, but I do have some advice. You need to talk to your dude and perhaps lay out a timeline. Explain that you feel like one year is more than enough time to have a ring around waiting to propose, and you’re starting to feel a little upset about it. See what he says.
Post # 4
This happened to my FSIL. He had it for about a year and she knew. She got so fed up she started looking for apartments to move out (without his knowledge). Then he proposed when she least expected. They are very happily married now 🙂
Post # 5
Ya…this is not cool. Is he playing some kind of game here?? You really need to talk to him about this. Why would he even purchase the ring at all if he still needed a year to think about it?? I would be offended and hurt too.
Post # 6
Guys are so clueless sometimes!!! Do they really not get how this would make a woman feel??
Post # 7
@MissGreyhound: My SO has had a ring for me for over a year now, and I know I will receive it in 2 weeks, but he would be happy to wait even longer because he doesn’t feel that he is secure in his job. I feel your pain. Do you have a walk date? My SO knew that I wasn’t going to wait for years for this ring, and he knew the deadline was July. Kinda harsh but I felt that I would go nuts if I didn’t set that and state it.
Post # 8
I’m confused, why wouldn’t he ask if he already had the ring? How long have yall been together? And why did he even tell you he got the ring?
Post # 9
My SO & I will probably have the ring in the house for close to a year….maybe like 9 months BUT we have planned this all along. We’re waiting until I graduate to get engaged. I agree with a PP, have you guys discussed a timeline? If it wasn’t a part of our plan then it would drive me nuts if I was waiting that long!
Post # 10
Is he a guy who wants it to be a surprise?! Maybe he is (stupidly!!) thinking you will forget about it!! Do you mention getting engaged a lot? If so I’d suggest doing the shut it up pact! If you already don’t mention it, maybe just talk like its never going to happen! I lope it comes soon for you, he obviously wants to do it as he has the ring, he’s just getting hung up on the ‘how’
Post # 11
We have been together 5 years. I knows he had the ring because we shares a bank account and we transferred the money from our joint account to a special account so he can order the ring. He wasn’t thrilled about me knowing when he was buying it but there was no way around it. Also, I get delivery notices from FedEx. A signature required package showed up shortly after he had the money put aside.
I promised that I wouldn’t bring it up after we transferred the money. I really didn’t want to put any pressure on him. He had said for a few years her knows exactly how he wanted to propose.
A friend suggested he is trying to make it a surprise and maybe he had a specific date in mine. My birthday is coming up so maybe that is it.
Post # 12
@MissGreyhound: just wanted to let you know you’re not the only one. my guy will have had the ring in his posession for a full year at the end of Feb. (I even know where it is – NOT hidden on his bed side table).
Our situation is a bit different with essentially a crazy stalker (I’m not getting into it again- but I have posted about it in past if you want to hear the story).
Either way, you’re not alone 🙂
Post # 13
@MissGreyhound: My co workers FI had hers for 2 and a half years! She must be one patient lady because I would have died if I had to wait for that long. He is a few years younger than her though and I think their families encouraged them to wait for that reason. She was 24 and he was 21 at the time of purchase. My FI had mine for 2 months and I knew he had it but he wanted to try and surprise me.
Post # 14
That would not fly with me. Either he wants to marry you or not, it doesn’t take a year to propose/
Post # 15
Oh wow how awful the wait must be!! You definitely need to talk to him. Unless you or him are not stable. If he’s expecting something to change in the near future (new job, promotion, paying off debt…) he might be waiting for that moment.
But he needs to tell you that, or else you’ll go crazy.
Post # 16
One of my best friends is in a similar situation… he’s had a ring FOREVER and even asked her parents for their blessing on THANKSGIVING. My friend is going insane because her mom now kind of assumes they’re engaged, since her boyfriend asked her about it in NOVEMBER, and is trying to plan wedding stuff with her, but my friend doesn’t want to start planning until she is ACTUALLY engaged.
In my friend’s case we’re all kind of thinking her boyfriend is kind of “why buy the cow?”-ing it… they live together, and he wants to get married, but he’s been acting like “what’s the rush? we live together, let’s just keep it this way.”
I agree with PP, I think that you should talk to him about a timeline so you don’t end up like tihs forever.